Tanhaai

Prologue

" Au revoir (goodbye) buddies.."

I waved and turned around towards the immigration gate after pasting the happy smiling couple’s face on my heart. They were the only closest friends I ever had. None of us ever thought they would end up marrying each other. When I turned back again to capture their expression, I found them giving more attention to each other lovingly and oblivious to the surrounding. They were just married yesterday. This attraction they felt was genuine. Is this what they call falling in love ? Have they realized and accepted the vows wholeheartedly only to be together forever ?

Marriage, vows, relationship, new life .. Bull Shit.. I wish I could stop my friends from falling into this trap but alas who am I to intrude in their life ? And nonetheless its too late now. I took a seat at the gate and opened my laptop. Checking mails constantly was my only pastime. It kept me busy and away from the worldly chores and solitude. I know I am been watched by most of the girls sitting around me, waiting for the same flight. But I keep myself refrained from all this. I call it "Unwanted Troubles". I was always like this. Keeping a low profile in terms of relationships, not entertaining the admiration from women.. To be precise, sticking to myself all the time is what I adore doing.





After the final call from the Flight attendant, I shut my Laptop and got in the flight to relax on the Business Class seat. I was a frequent traveller but I still hated the extra attention which I got from the cabin crew girls. I know they are been paid high to make our Journey comfortable, but "DUDE" I dont need their sweet surveillance. Closing my eyes, I once again try to be in my own world, trying to get a hold of the situation which is going to arise once I return back home. I know what's waiting for me there. I have been trying to avoid it from past 2 years and I was successful enough, but this time, my Di has crossed all the limits to get a "Yes" from me. Why do men have sisters? Just to Blackmail? I wish I was single from birth but this was never in my hands. But I cannot compromise my future. I am happy without a partner. At least I can work in office as long as I wish. I dont have to try being lovey dovey with anyone. I am the ruler of my life. I
know what bests suits me and what doesn't. I have enough family members to take care of and hence dont need an extra member to add up in that list. I like the way I am at present no matter what people around me think about it.

By the way, I am Arnav Singh Raizada, a Widower.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Part 1

Anjali Jha my loving sister and my lifeline, for whom I'm ready to sacrifice anything, patted her arms gently over my shoulders smiling at me. Though she expected a tinge of smirk, I never returned it back to her. She didnt complain over it but she still had one major concern and I could see that from her eyes when she carefully scanned by my overgrown beard and unkempt hair. I don't see why women have this stupid impression that only shaved men are clean and presentable? Infact it makes me look more boyish and my self than the usual business tycoon formal look which made me looked old.

Anjali: Aaj ke din bhi Shave nahi kar sakte the kya? Not that I mind.. You still look charming. But.. Phir bhi.. ( Even today you couldnt shave your beard? Not that I mind.. You still look charming.But .. Still)

She was about to brush my hair at least which I never like. I can do things on my own. I'm not a nursery kid to be pampered by my elder sister. I moved away avoiding it.

Anjali: Arre.. Its such an important day of your life Chotte, give me this honor to groom you.

I snatched the suit from her hand and wore it myself looking at her eyes sternly.

Arnav: Yeh din pehle bhi aa chuka hai Di. (This Di has come earlier too in my life Di).. We have gone through all this before. Its not my first time. So please stop being so excited about it.

I don't wish to extend this conversation. Hope my crisp words hit her brain and not hurt her heart which I can't tolerate.

Di's smile dropped as she saw me leaving the room. I had and will never have any emotion attached for this day. It's just another day of my life and there is nothing special about it.

****************

Mrs.Devayani the matriarch of my house, my Nani, my motherly figure whom I have respect more than my mother for bringing up me and my sister after my mothers demise. A very loving and cool personality but a very over dramatic person, courtesy - the dadis and old ladies of TV shows who has influenced her more than the real life characters whom she can witness everyday. The only time I see her serious is when she does her poojas and watch daily soaps.
It's not real I know I understand how she suppress her worries for all of us especially me when she acts funny in front of me.

We are now ready to leave for Gupta House. Nani has taken a seat in the back seat while my mami and my mamaji joins her. One of the silent soul I have ever seen in my life is my mamaji Manohar. And as they say unlike poles attract each other he has been blessed with one of the most talkative person in the world my mamiji Manorama. Her over the top obsession for make up has left me spellbound but her kindest heart has left me speechless. She has never considered me her sister in laws son but has always given more love than her sons Akash and Nk.

As I look back seat to find them settled properly,I receive a warm smile from half of my family which I receive with a nod as that's all I can do. I give a look to my driver who understands my instruction and starts the car.

This half an hour journey to Gupta House has nothing more to give me other than some bitter memories but do I really need to rehash all that ? Haven't I vowed not to think about it again ? Why is this inner turmoil again? Why are my family bent upon putting me to such a frustrating situation AGAIN??

As I close my eyes to remove the unwanted irritation, I'm piling up for the not so interesting engagement that's going to happen not to forget the second bloody time! I hear the soft voices of my Nani and mami though I pretend not to give it attention.

Nani : Manorama,did Anjali inform Mr.Gupta that we have started. We should not be surprising them by standing on their entrance.

Mami: (closing her mirror) : Sasuma do not worry we have already informed them. But I think you need some touch up on your forehead. You are sweating so much !!!

Mamaji tries to stop and silence Nani but she's not bothered.

Nani: I'm tensed Manorama. I hope chotte doesn't create any problem there. They don't know about his anger.

Mami: Don't worry Sasuma once he sees the girl I'm sure everything will be alright . She's very nice and bubbly I am sure she will make chotte happy

I open my eyes and look ahead. What the ?? What do they think of me ?? I will fall for a girl just like that ?? They are wrong. I'm not the same Arnav I was two years back. And this is not the same situation. And she is not .....

I stop the trail of thoughts which again goes back to that day. My nerves are getting the pressure which is rising inside my heart..No.. Stop there!! I suppress it with my fists. It can and should never happen to anyone !!!

****************

Gupta House

She kept dialing his number, trying to reach him, to speak with him once before she enters into an unwanted relationship with a Stranger. But he never answered her call. Suddenly before she could register her father's presence inside the room, Shashi Gupta snatched her mobile from his Daughter, Khushi Gupta, who literally jumped to get her Phone back.

Khushi: Dad this is not done.
Shashi: ( hiding the phone behind him): Why are you doing this Khushi? You promised me never to call him. Everything was over, thats what you said. And now on your engagement day you want to talk to him? What for ?

Khushi: (Giving up her struggle of getting the phone back): I am confused

She voiced out her feelings.
Shashi: I asked you a hundred times before fixing this tie up, didnt I? You cannot let me down at this moment Khushi. The Raizada's will be here any moment.

Khushi unwillingly walked past her father and sat on the bed putting her head down. Shashi sat next to her caressing her head.

Shashi: The man I chose for you is far better than him. You will never regret.

She noded gently as if accepting her father's words but to be honest she cannot be blind this time. Who knows if her would be Fiancee is really worth her father's praises or not? She has never met him and most importantly she already knows his marital status.

Khushi: Sometimes I think how can you chose a Widower for your daughter? Are there no bachelors available in your eyes who can suit me better than him?
Shashi: I am not your enemy Khushi. Right from your birth, I have given importance only to you. So you got to trust my decision.

She chose not to argue over it. May be he was correct. This is not the right time to discuss all this.
Shashi: I will send your friends here, they will get you down. ( he kissed her forehead and admired her quickly).. You are looking no less than a Princess today. I love you my child.
Khushi ( faking a smile): Love you too Paapa..

With a smile pasted on his fave, he finally got up to leave.

Khushi: My Phone? ( she demanded)
Shashi ( keeping it in his pockets): You will get your phone back after the engagement.

He started walking to the door while she kept staring at her father with rage.

***************

As I got down the car with my family, I saw Shashi Gupta and his sister Madhumati coming forward to welcome us with some of their close relatives. This occassion had to be a private one, thats what I had asked my Di to ensure. I did not wanted this engagement to be a grand affair. I look at my Di who was trying to hide from me. She embraced Madhumati with a smile. Madhumati was a very mischievious lady. Her "hai re Nandakishore" was so famous between my family members that they sometimes even mocked her. My Cousin NK whose name matched her Phrase always kept a safe distance from her as much as he could. He thought she gave him extra attention which he loved to get from not from her.

Shashi Uncle's eyes were moist as he stood before me joining his palms. I hated whenever an elderly person like him did that to me. I leaned to take his blessings. He didnt allow me to touch his feet for long, he caught my shoulders and pressed me to his heart. I can feel his tension. This is supposed to be a big day for him. He has only one daughter and he has raised her with utmost love and pampering after his wife's early death. For any father the mere thought of his daughter leaving him and their house is not so easy to digest.

I smile at him weakly. He acknowledges it and then Madhumati comes forward to complete the ritual of welcoming me inside where the ceremony had to be taken place. She circles the Thali with a broad smile on her lips. She applies the kumkum on my forehead and I am lost in those old memories where this had happened in exactly the same manner. NOPE..!! I should concentrate on the present, I warn myself and step inside with the family, making sure I catch my Di's hand and make her walk slowly with me. She understands why I did so. Afterall she owes me a reply.

Anjali: Sorry Chotte.. But I had talked to Shashi Uncle about your wishes on having this function simplest as possible but he requested to allow him calling few of his close guests. I couldnt ignore. Khushi is his only child.

I understand Shashi Uncle's concern but that doesnt mean I can convince myself too. I know more people around this occassion would mean more gossips which I already read in the eyes of most of the guests here. I avoid it and stick with my family until I see the crowd looking at the stairs. I compose myself, I almost stiffen knowing my would be Fiancee was getting down which had attracted everyone's attention on her. I infact even hear most of them praising her beauty. I chose to ignore it. I dont have any qualms or any complaints from her. Its just that I am not totally prepared for all this even after 2 years of my first marriage.

Within few seconds I see her standing before me. I finally "SEE" her. She is Beautiful.. I dont know if even thinking all this is right for me. I just voiced what I felt looking at her. She is not meeting my eyes either. This was genuine on her part. I am pushed by my arm slowly by Akash whom I give a stare and then realise he was giving me the ring to hold. I feel weak but this is not a time when I can think about my decision again. I hold the ring and then very superficially hold her hand in mine. I feel her shivering but that was normal for any woman to undergo. So what if I had not experienced this in my previous engagement ? I insert the ring and hear everyone clap. Few of them showering the rose petals on us which is very much filmy for me. I see Khushi extending her hand gesturing me to allow her put the ring on my finger too. I subconsiously move my arm ahead and she repeats it just like me.

So now, my relationship status has changed. I am no more a Widower... I am Engaged.!!

_____________________________________________________________________________

Part 2

I am at the rooftop of Gupta house smoking the first cigar. I am not a chain smoker. Its just that I cant resist it when I am tensed. I know I am not supposed to be here because down there in the Living room, almost every family member and guests might be wondering where I am . I look at the ring in my finger and wonder if this has really happened. How can I forget what my sister did inorder to get my approval for this day. She had starved the entire day and the next, praying before the Devi Maiyaa idol wishing me to get married again and settle down. I dont understand what makes my family think only marriage is the ultimate destiny of mine ? I have earned a lot because thats what keeps me busy, I am a well known business tycoon and the most successful in my generation. But all this is not counted as settled for my family. They want me married, again!! What change can a marriage get to me? All these questions cloud my mind, making me almost incapable of thinking anything apart from it.

Suddenly I hear Di's voice and within fraction of seconds, I throw my cigar down, blow it off by my feet and turn around. I dont want her to see me smoking but its clear from her eyes that she has caught me much before than I could even guess. She gives me a sarcastic look and comes forward.

Anjali: What is this Chotte? What made you come here? Do you know everyone down there is looking for you ?

I know she is over exagerating but I dont mind her doing it. She is well versed in that. An unchangable habit of my Di.

Arnav: I wanted to breathe fresh air Di.
I give the most blunt reply to her which she doesnt take seriously knowing I was trying to get an excuse.
Anjali: Did you meet Khushi?
She knows I havnt but she still asks me that.
Arnav: I suppose I met her Di. While exchanging the rings. .
I know this isnt a time for such foolish replies but I still manage to say it with a weak smile.
Anjali: Why are you being so adamant Arnav? You know what I am asking you to do. Stand with her, talk to her, try knowing her.

I cut her off immediately. 

Arnav: I have a whole lifetime with her now, dont I ? So why hurry?
She is furious with my attitude. She clutches my arm.
Anjali: Stop being rude Chotte. Come . Lets go down .

She drags me down again in that crowd which I desperately wanted to avoid.

******************

Its been 10 minutes now that I came down with my Di. She was not with me presently. I know where she was and why. She was with my Fiancee Khushi Gupta and probably arranging our meet. Damm!! I feel like escaping. But where? This whole function had hours yet to finish. So I had no choice but to wait there and get attention from the guests whom I find gossiping. I can read their lips, not a decent hobby I know. But I still have that creativity in me. They are discussing about my first marriage, infact they are comparing Khushi with my first wife. I turn around not to see their faces anymore. Its just going to be more bothersome. But what do I see next? I see Di and Khushi coming towards me. So my Di managed to get this meet arranged. When she came and stood before me, I look at her once and then to my Di who was smiling at us.

Anjali: Now thats how we want to see you both. Together. You guys talk till then I will check with Shashi Uncle if the Dinner has been arranged. You both arent hungry yet?

Was this even a question to ask? I was damm hungry. Since morning, I could only drink some juice and may be a single roti with sabji at home. I couldnt eat anything in this nervousness. I cant be hungry for long. I am very foody and my family keeps teasing me for that sometimes just to get a smile on my face, which they dont know I do only to make them happy. Otherwise who would smile  being teased all the time??
Di leaves us alone. We are both very uncomfortable. I still ask her if she wants to sit.

"I am fine", comes a very crisp response from her as if she too like me was in a hurry to end this conversation.

I see her fiddling with the ends of her Dupatta. That was a sign of nervousness I had noticed in most of the girls. The waiter comes by with some glass of juices. She picks a glass of water and gulps it down. Another sign of nervousness, I realise. Thankfully her group of friends see us alone and they get the best chance to tease their friend. They come to us and start talking. Khushi keeps them busy asking them to enjoy the party and starters. It feels like she is restricting them from talking to me. I dont mind it. Infact I appreciate her concern. At least that doesnt leave the two of us alone. But I still have a question to her. Why is she doing that?

Her friends leave and they take her along too. I am saved. I feel releaved. I feel someone placing arm on my shoulder. I turn around and see Shashi Uncle. This man always has been a fatherly figure. I still remember the first time I met him, a year back. I had been to the temple with Di and until she finished her Puja, I waited down the stairs looking at the little 8 year girl who was trying to sell few pigeons which she had caged together. I could look at her face and say she was in a deep trouble. I have immense of sympathy inside me for such children whose childhood is taken away from them. SPeaking to that girl I came to know she was in need of money. Her father was ill and hospitalised. I instantly paid her enough cash and asked her to leave for the hospital. And thats when this man entered my life, giving his first advise.

"When you help someone, ensure that the other person receives it with dignity son", he told me.

I took time to realise what it meant. He showed me the Cage of Pigeons and everything became clear after that. I opened the cage and allowed the Pigeons to fly away. By doing this, I just didnt free the birds but it also put a smile on the little girl's face as she bid me bye and left from the temple. The money I paid her became the cost of those Pigeons freedom and not a favour or burden on the little girl and she could leave with dignity.

Since that day, Shashi Gupta became my guide cum philosopher. Now coming back to the present, a new relationship had been added between us. He was my would be Father in law. He passed me a smile and we both started taking a slow walk.

Shashi: You okay Arnav?

He was the first person to actually ask me if I was Okay today. Others knew how uncomfortable I was getting but none of them could do this favour upon me.

Arnav: Yea. I am fine.

If he hadnt been Khushi's father, I might have not lied today. I just dont want to break his heart.

Shashi: I had been waiting for this evening. Any father would want his daughter to go in the right house, with a right man. Someone who can understand her, love her more than her father could. I am happy she is getting you as a life partner. ( he stated proudly)
Arnav: Sorry Uncle.. But I dont agree to that. No matter how much a husband understands and loves his wife, he cant beat her father's record.

Shashi Uncle chuckled nodding at my statement.

Shashi: Yea yea. You are right. ( he became serious again). Anyways.. My daughter.. Khushi..How did you find her?

I knew on what context Shashi Uncle was asking me this. Just like my Di, even Shashi Uncle was interested in bonding me with Khushi. I couldnt stay quiet. I had to speak something what I noticed about her.

Arnav: Uhh.. She has a lot of friends. I met few of them.( I smiled inwardly)

Shashi Uncle's expressions were not up to the mark. Seemed like he had expected me to describe something about his daughter's character or behaviour but he didnt say anything after my reply. He just patted my shoulder and then got engrossed in treating the guests. May be he had understood it will take time for things to grow between me and Khushi.

********************

Night

I was little relieved when I saw my family seeking permission to leave the venue from Shashi Uncle and Madhumati Aunty. So this drama was coming to an end. I was tired wearing that suit. I took it off and hung it loose on my arm. Di was talking to Khushi. I was waiting for her to finish. We cannot leave until she is done with her talks. It was 11:00 pm already and I am used to sleep early. Sleep and food are the two necessities of my life which I cannot resist for long. I take a deep yawn and the worst part of it was getting observed at the same time.. The person who saw me yawning was no one else but Khushi. I could read a sarcasm in her look. As if she was thinking how much bored personality I am who is so desperate to sleep on time without even caring for what occassion we are here for. I turn around not to face her. Just in few minutes my family gather together with the Gupta's at our Car.

Anjali: So Khushi, I hope to see you coming at our home. Now that you both are engaged, you should spend time with each other.

I see my sister almost blushing while commenting so openly before everyone. I give her a stare and she realises its high time we sit in the car and get back home. She hugs Khushi and Madhumati quickly and then we finally drive out of Gupta House.

Only after we reach a KM away from there, I could breathe normally.
 There was silence in the car though I could hear few whispers from behind. Di, Maami and Nani were softly whispering. I close my eyes and lean my head on the seat behind.

********************

Khushi took out her jewellery while Madhumati assisted her in keeping them in the boxes.

Madhumati: Did you see how good his Sister is ? She is a gem of a person. You always complained us from childhood why you didnt had a sister, see now you got one in your in laws side.

Khushi frowned at her and started taking off the bangles.

Madhumati: Did Arnav talk anything to you?
Khushi straightly denied but not that she was complaining about it. She herself had no interest in talking to him.
Khushi: I found him little disinterested in this alliance..
Madhumati: Everyone is not like you to show disinterest. And he is a very silent personality. He doesnt speak much. He is not a chatter box like you.
Khushi: Now will I get my phone back?
Madhumati: Ask your father, its with him. And for God's sake dont forget you are engaged to some decent man now. So stop looking in your past and getting it again in your present. Not everyone gets a second chance.

Madhumati left the room. Khushi looked at her ring on her finger. She didnt know what changes are going to come in her future. Whatever Buaji said is right, looking in the past will not help anyone. But why was it so difficult to forget it?

_____________________________________________________________________________

Part 3

Day 1 - Post Engagement

Its morning already and I realise that as my duvet is being pulled from the other end. I manage to grab it loosely but not for long. I feel very uncomfortable when someone invades my space like this but I never voice it out because the person responsible is the one I love the most in this world, my Di.

Arnav: I wish Jeejaji comes home soon..

I murmur in sleep but enough for Di to hear.

Anjali: Your wish has fulfilled Chotte.. He is coming this afternoon.. Now get up ..

She pulls my hand and makes me sit on the bed. I stretch my arms in air, my white T shirt wrinkled, my hair ruffled. I find her admiring me as if I am her kid. Yea. She treats me that way. May be because even after 2 years of her successful and happy marriage she had no good news about pregnancy. She was fond of kids from the very beginning. Thats why she runs an NGO for street kids, wherein she not just looks for their accomodation, health, safety or education, but she also keeps them engrossed in creative works. Candle making, greeting cards, painting, etc.. etc.. She is genius in all this. And unlike me she has enough mental strength to handle every odds.

I click my fingers to get her attention. She smiles weakly and caresses my cheek.

Anjali: I am happy that your life is finally moving on the right track.

I take few seconds to realise what it means. I am engaged yesterday. I am marrying again in few weeks/months. This had skipped my mind. I should be more responsible in grasping this truth and waking up with it every day from now on. I take her hand off my cheeks and kiss her gently on wrist.

Arnav: I had moved on very long ago Di. Whatever is happening now, is just another phase of my life which has come only because of your regular nagging. Otherwise I was a happy Single widower.

She immediately places her finger on my lips to shut my mouth.

Anjali: Dont call yourself that again. Say you are engaged.
Arnav: Whatever.

I move her aside and get down the bed. She starts folding my duvet as usual. I start checking any calls/messages on my phone and dont find any.

Arnav: Strange. Aman didnt text me what time I have the meeting today morn.
Anjali: ( gigled): Thats because Aman is obeying my orders today.

I turn around and meet her eyes to know what she means.

Anjali: ( anxiously): I have booked your entire day with us today.
Arnav: You kidding me Di?
Anjali: I never do that Chotte. I am serious. Today you are not going to office, not even working from home. We are spending the entire day together with you and.. (she stopped speaking and started blushing)
Arnav: Me and? ( I repeat her words)

Why do I feel that blush on my Di's face notorious?

Anjali: Khushi..!! ( she proudly stated)

My face turned pale but I still managed to question Di what I had in my mind.

Arnav: Its just been few hours since she and I got engaged. Why did you hurry so much in calling her here?
Anjali: To make her accustomed to this house and the people here, especially to you.! Chotte.. you ought to spend time with her to know her completely. Unless that happens its unfair to get your marriage date fixed. Even Shashi Uncle thinks the same.

I dont argue much. I know she wins all the time in such family conversations. But I have something to warn her.

Arnav: Dont expect me to show the house and all. Thats too silly.

She nods gigling but I know she didnt take it seriously even though I am.

**************

Gupta House

Khushi is all dressed up and seems to be in a hurry. Shashi notices that and before she could escape from the living room, he calls her. She stops and see's her father reading newspaper. Why does her house have only one main door. Wish there was a back door too from where she could escape without meeting her father like this. She fakes a smile on her face and then comes to him.

Shashi: Where are you going so early morning?

Khushi had expected he would ask her this but she was prepared with the answer.

Khushi: I am going to the Spa dad. I am tired with yesterday's function. I badly need some relaxation.
Shashi: Indeed. But come back home soon. Buaji and you have to go to Raizada house today by 10:00am and spend the rest of the day there.

 Now that was a surprise for her.

Khushi: (almost screaming): Raizada house? Entire day?
Shashi: Yes. Isnt it good that the family wants you to be a part of them so soon? You always grumbled why dont we have a big family. So now when you are getting an opportunity to have one, you should grab it.

Khushi sighed with disappointment. She really knew her dad will do anything to get her life settled. Not that she doesnt trust his decision. But she is finding it very difficult to accept it so easily.Shashi gets up and holds her shoulders. There is so much compassion in his eyes.

Shashi: I know you will take time to adjust in this new relationships but I trust my daughter. She can easily win hearts.

Khushi smiled weakly at him and then hurried to leave.

****************

Asking the Driver to wait at the Spa, she took a Cab ride to some destination. She did not want the Driver to inform her father that the SPA was just an excuse to leave home. She left the CAB after reaching a Coffee Shop. She was truly desperate for this meet. She hurried inside and kept scanning the area around to see if the person she was here to meet was seen anywhere. Suddenly she felt someone's arm on her shoulder. She immediately turned around with a smile. But the moment she realised that it was not that person but a member from Raizada family, her jaw dropped, sweat beads formed on her forehead. She could feel her heart beating almost in her mouth, she was that scared. It was Lavanya Raizada, Arnav's Maama Maami's daughter.

Lavanya: Khushi? Hi.. Its such a conincidence. What are you doing here?

Khushi gulped down her fear. 

Khushi: Uhh.. I .. I came here for coffee. I mean.. I like the coffee of this place. I was just passing by.. So thought of dropping by.. And you?
Lavanya: (chuckled): This is my favourite place too. I keep coming here with my friends.
Khushi: ohh ( she faked a smile)
Lavanya: Good that we met. Di told me about you spending the day with us. Lets get home together. What say?
Khushi: No.. I mean.. I have taken a SPA appointment too in some time. I will come after 2 hours.
Lavanya: Wow.. Looks like you are fully serious for impressing Arnav Bhai..

Khushi didnt speak a word. She felt little odd when Lavanya so openly teased her. And most importantly she also was embarrased that she almost was going to get caught.

Lavanya: If you done here, lets go.. Give me company till the car atleast.. Come..

Khushi could not deny. She unwillingly left out of the Coffee shop without meeting the person she had come here for.

*****************

Raizada House

Looking at the preparations going on in my house, it looked like they were expecting to welcome a Prime Minister..I had never seen Di winding up her Puja so soon. She usually took 1 hour to complete it but today she finished in just 20 minutes. And Nani.. At this time, we always found her watching the old Bollywood songs of her times in the room, cherishing the music with cup of tea and light breakfast. She said it was Nanaji's way of starting his morning and she was just continuing that ritual. But today she never thought of switching ON the Television. She was seen ordering the Maids to strictly clean the house and maintain a decorum when Khushi Gupta is here today. Not to forget, Maamiji had her own way of getting things ready which included her heavy make-up and Bright Red Orange Saree which was her favourite color. So everyone was preparing themselves for greeting the would be bride of this house except me..

I was still in my Pyjamas and T shirt, not bathed, not shaved (which ofcourse was never in my list for some more months from now..).I was wondering if my family is so eager to spend time with Khushi, then what would be their condition when she comes here permanently? This might be a lifetime achievement for my family but for me that mere thought was pricking my heart. To be honest, I am really not prepared for this second marriage. I never would be.

I see my sister coming towards me. She is definately unhappy seeing my disinterest today. She comes and advises me to get ready. I agree unwillingly and she leaves. I get a phone call from Aman. I know he is missing me at Office. Though I am his Boss, I treat him like my family. He is the only man who has patiently swallowed my anger, frustration in crucial times and even then managed to put a smile on his face whenever I am around. I answer the call and he explains me some of the Business needs that has arised at office in my absence.

We talk and discuss the matter for few minutes. I am just at the Living room, roaming freely, maintaining my concentration on Aman's voice. Suddenly the door bell rings. I find no one around to open the door. Not a big deal. I myself rush to open it before the visitor rings it again and irritates my ears. The moment the door opens, and I am about to turn around and leave, I see Khushi Gupta. She meets my eyes for few seconds and then very abruptly looks down in confusion. She hadnt expected me to open the door. I didnt mean to surprise her either. Aman is still talking and its impolite on my behalf to continue my business conversation when a lady just needs my attention and may be a few words.

"I will call you back Aman", I hurridly say and disconnect the call looking at Khushi again.

Arnav: Come in..

She put a weak smile on her lips and quickly enters in. I shut the door behind her. She slowly scans around. This is the first time she sees my house. Let me tell you, its one of the best in this city. Not to mention, its quite hard to earn this much space in a crowded metro city like Delhi.

Khushi: Where is every.. everyone? ( she almost stammers in nervousness)

I am saved from responding to her because Di and Nani comes rushing there to welcome her. She quickly leans down to take Nani's blessings. And I can see happiness overflowing in Nani's expressions. All this never actually happened earlier in my first marriage. Though the reasons behind it were justified, I would have still been satisfied if my earlier relationship had worked in a positive way.

Anjali: Chotte.. At least now go and have bath..

I widen my eyes at Di because she really doesnt care what she speaks and before whom. She smiles caressing my cheek, gesturing me to calm down and then she and Nani take Khushi inside to meet the rest of the family. I just hope this day goes good for them. Its been quite a while since this family had seen happiness.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Part 4

I spend a lot of time in Shower and let me tell you my Di keeps wondering what I do exactly inside for so long. Such questions makes me more annoyed. If a woman takes hours bathing, its normal, but if a man does, people arent much comfortable? Why is that? Anyways, today I purposely delay a bit more so that I save some of my time to myself rather than sitting down in the Living room, watching my family showering their extra love on the "Soon to be Bahu" of this house. I finally come out of the bathroom and getting dressed in a Loose T Shirt and Pyjamas, I walk to the poolside for watering my plants. Yes. They are my buddies, totally my type, silent. With this I remember, Shashi Uncle had once told me about his daughter Khushi being totally opposite to it. She was a very talkative woman but to be honest, I didnt find her that way in these two times that we have seen each other. May be she talks much only before her known people. I just hope she doesnt invade my Silence which I wont prefer anytime happening ahead.

I realise someone had entered my room, by the voice, I confirm its Di and she was probably accompanied by Khushi Gupta too. They were not aware I was just around them though.

Anjali: How did you find this room Khushi?

I stop watering my plants. How can she ask her that? Within few seconds I get the most surprising answer from the other woman, Khushi.

Khushi: Little Boring.. Whose room is this?

I hear my Di laugh and I dont stop myself from entering the room again from the Poolside french doors. My sister is still laughing and infact she is more suprised realising the fact that I heard that reply from Khushi.

Arnav: Yeh mera kamra hai. (This is my Room)

I couldnt resist myself from clearing her doubts. I see Khushi's jaw almost dropping though she manages to put a weak smile on her face. But she is not meeting my eyes.

Anjali: Yes Khushi.. Its Chotte's room.. Means your future room.. ( she gigles again)
Arnav: Tumhe koi problem hai?

I was not frigten to ask my would be wife this question, neither did I bother if she will take it positively or think I am scaring her. My Di was  intelligent enough to understand my sarcasm and she immediately tried changing the atmosphere between us.

Anjali: Khushi, Chotte doesnt like anyone pointing a finger at his Bedroom. He is very choosy in terms of his room furniture and the color. And neither he allows anyone of us to change it. Now I leave it on you to convince him if you wish to get some change in this bedroom after you get married.

Di gigles but me and Khushi maintain the same expressions on our face.

Anjali: I will go downstairs and help Manorama Chachi in cooking.
Khushi: Uhh.. I will also come.
Anjali: No. You dont need to enter the kitchen and take that responsibility now. I know you are a good cook but..
Khushi ( immediately cut the sentence): I am NOT a good cook Di.. Infact I hardly cook. But I can assist you people.

I look with surprise at my Di's face which is similar to mine in terms of expressions.

Anjali: You dont cook much? ( she again tried confirming and got the same reply from Khushi)..  Uhh. Never mind.. When I married to Shyam, I also didnt know anything. I learnt it after my wedding.

When Di spoke of her own wedding, I was lost in that day because like Di, it was a special day in my life too. Afterall Di and me got married on the same day, same Mandap and ofcourse our partners were siblings too. Di realised she had made me walk back my life by 2 years and whenever this happened mistakenly through any of my family members or outsiders, I was always hurt. She did not want me to revive those moments for long which is why she quickly pressed my arm.

Anjali: Chotte, you and Khushi talk for sometime. I will be back later. Theek hai?

Why does she ask my permission when she doesnt want to hear a word against her command? I nod a Yes and she smiles at us and leaves the room. I see Khushi fiddling with the ends of her Dupatta as she was feeling conscious about this entire "Talking" scenario.

Arnav: Be comfortable.

I try to be as normal as I could but somethings dont be in your control for long, I know. She sits on the Recliner scanning the room again as if searching something, looking for something. But what?

Arnav: Tum theek ho? ( I never forget to ask her that, do I?)

I had asked her the same on the engagement day too. She smiles but that smile is only out of force.

Arnav: Shashi Uncle speaks a lot about your passion for dance. Are you a professional dancer or something?

I choose the safest question to ask though even I am not interested in any of this. I just want to get back to my plants and water them. Seems like she was little disturbed by that question. I see some sweat beads formed on her forehead but she manages to reply back in a feeble tone.

Khushi: I stopped dancing.

My next question should have been " Why did you stop?", but the way she looked tensed, I chose not to ask her that.

Arnav: You studied in Oxford? Management?
Khushi: Literature.

Again a "ONE WORD" reply, I thought.

Arnav: Any special pastimes?

She gives some seconds to herself as if to list out which was the best one out of all.

Khushi: Sleep.
Arnav: What? ( I try clarifying)
Khushi: Sleeping is my best pastime. ( she again states it in few words. No plans to explain it further)

Its like I am the interviewer and she is already bored of my questions. I chose not to trouble her if she is that unwilling to respond clearly.

Arnav: Anything you would like to know about me ?

I see a glint of surprise in her eyes and I can say there were many questions that she wanted to ask me had she been that comfortable. She tries to get some strength in her voice and utters.

Khushi: Uhh. Your wife.. How .. how did she die?


That question amazed me. Anything related to my first wedding had always made me upset. I could see the desperation in her eyes to get my reply. Suddenly before I could respond, there is a knock at my door. My Cousin Lavanya gets inside flaunting her dimples and smiling at us.

Lavanya: Sorry Bhai.. I really didnt mean to disturb you both, but its been so long that I am waiting to get some time with Khushi. Everyone is just stealing her since she arrived. Can I please borrow her from you ?

I dont mind my sister doing that because my mood has become too sour for entertaining "Khushi Gupta" beyond this. Yea I know that question she asked remains unanswered. But its not necessary that she knows it only from me. She can get this detail from anyone in my family.

Lavanya drags Khushi out of the room and for the first time in all our meets, I see a hesitation in Khushi's eyes to go away from me. Thats totally because she wants me to answer her question. Apart from that, I dont think she expected anything more from our meet today.

*********************

Its afternoon and almost 2 hours since me and Khushi had that conversation. I am keeping myself busy in some work, obviously hiding from my family, because they dont want me to concentrate on anything today apart from my would be wife. Di comes in and as expected she gets irritated seeing my Laptop On.

Anjali: Chotte? You started again?

She is about to shut the screen but I stop her.

Arnav: Di I am in the middle of something very urgent. Give me few minutes.

She sighs in disappointment and sits next to me. I continue my work without giving her much attention. I know what she has come here for, just to hear what all me and Khushi spoke.

Anjali: Uhh.. So how did you find her?

I continue typing the email.

Arnav: You cant know the in and out of a person in just 10 minutes Di. Give us some time.
Anjali: I know.. Anyways.. What all did you both talk?
Arnav: ( looking at her): Didnt you tell her about Sonia ( my first wife) before?

Di's facial expressions became weak.

Anjali: Shashi Uncle might have talked to her already. He knows everything.. I didnt get time to explain Khushi myself.
Arnav: Dont be that careless Di. Its your responsibility to clear her doubts about my first marriage. She doesnt even know how Sonia died .. ( he gulped his feelings).

Di had tears in her eyes. It was so obvious of her to be so fragile whenever she remembered Sonia. I hold her arms to make her feel better.

Arnav: Di I dont want anything to be hidden from Khushi Gupta. She is going to devote her entire life on this family. She ought to clear her mind before she marries me.
Anjali: Why do you think me and Shashi Uncle have not decided any specific date of your marriage? Its only for this reason Chotte. So that you both talk.. And I dont think it will be good if I tell her about Sonia. She asked this question to you, not me. Its you whose point of view she wants to know about your first marriage. I know its hard for you...But who else will you share that grief with Chotte if not your future wife? I think you should take this responsiblity of speaking to Khushi about your first marriage with Sonia. 

Di had a point. It should be me who should talk ..Hari Prakash knocks the room door. My room today is like a guest room. Anyone and everyone is just coming in and disturbing me.


HP: Deedi.. Shyam Jeejaji has come back ..

My Di's happiness had no bar. She was so excited that her husband had returned back in the city... She immediately got up to leave.

Anjali: Chotte.. At least now come down.. Come soon okay?

She left hurriedly with Hari Prakash to meet her husband. I must confess, she is very much in love with him no matter how many official trips keeps him busy.

******************

When I come down after next few minutes I find my Di and Jeejaji talking in the Living room something serious. I somewhere had read what my Di was explaining him. I try to be normal. The same time even Lavanya gets Khushi out of her room to introduce her to Jeejaji. We both almost reach the Living room at the same time. Di and Jeejaji both try becoming normal again.

Anjali: Shyam.. She is Khushi, Shashi Uncle's daughter.

Khushi immediately leans down to take Jeejaji's blessings. That was a good sign which she kept following everytime she met any of my family member who are elder to her. My Jeejaji was little uncomfortable but he still pretended to be okay.

Shyam: Khush raho.. ( Stay happy)
Anjali: Khushi.. You relax here now. I am sure Lavanya must have troubled you showing all her modern dresses and make up. She is so much obsessed by that. ( she gigles while Lavanya frowns at her and pouts) . Me and Shyam will join you all in sometime. Okay?

She caressed Khushi's cheeks and then both Di and Jeejaji started walking towards the stairs. I am on their way. I reach myself to Jeejaji and give him a hug. I can feel his emotions flowing out as he hugs me intensely. He is just trying to believe the fact that I am getting married again. Unfortunately even if he is happy for this, somewhere he is unable to digest the fact that in few weeks or months, he is going to see another woman apart from his Sister Sonia beside me as my Wife. Its obvious that accepting this fact for him is not going to be easy just like it wasnt cool for me. Sonia was his blood sister but she was also a very integral part of this family and none of us was going to forget that ever.

Finally Jeejaji pulls me back from the hug. His eyes are moist. I try to question him if he is okay but he assures me everything is good, by his nod and then finally leaves with Di in their room. The husband and wife doesnt want to reveal anything in Khushi Gupta's presence which is a good decision.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Part 5

My Jeejaji is still very quiet even over the Lunch. Di is talking on his behalf too, she is just making up his mood which I know is never going to be fine soon until Khushi is here. Me and Khushi are made to sit together at the Dining table. I am more uncomfortable by that but its very clear to me even she is uneasy. Sometimes my family goes off their limits in the attempt to get us closer.

Nani: Khushi, you didnt take the Kheer? Its very nice. Anjali has made it.
Khushi: Nani I am already full.  ( she politely denies)

My Di gestures me to talk something but I ignore her and keep eating. I am very hungry. Di frowns at me and starts the conversation.

Anjali: Lavanya told me you met her today in the Coffee shop?
Khushi gets a hiccup and even though the water glass is right before her, she is looking for it. I forward the glass to her so that she drinks the water and stops those annoying hiccups. She gulps the water down and manages to speak finally.

Khushi: Haan. .Woh.. I was just passing by and..
Lavanya: (Interrupted): Di, come on. You are taking her class now. ( everyone chuckled over it)
Nani: Daamadji, you look tired. You didnt even speak anything..

I look at my Jeejaji who fumbles, trying to find some reply to that. Finally we all hear him talking .

Shyam: Naniji the journey was tiresome. The flight got delayed by an hour. Nothing else to worry. If I rest for some time , will regain my energy.

Everyone took it seriously except me. I know he is not tired, its just that he is unable to digest the fact of Khushi Gupta entering my life in his sister's place. Who else than me would know how much he loved Sonia. She was like his baby. When Sonia was alive, his state of mind was different, his priorities were different. In past 2 years I am not the only one who has undergone a drastic change in my personality, in my feelings, in my behaviour. Jeejaji has also joined me in that race. Unlike me he smiles occassionally and tries to divert his mind by participating in the household chores with Di. I dont even do that. This house has memories of Sonia, though only a few, but they will always be there around me even if I re-marry someone else.

The sound of a message beep disturb my thoughts. I see Khushi fiddling with her phone and immediately putting it to Silent mode. I try to avoid her gestures but almost every minute after that I find her engrossed in the mobile, texting and reading. I am irritated. I dont like people who give so much importance to their social life especially when they are amidst the family spending time. I give her a cold stare but its of no use as she is not even looking at me. I finish my lunch quickly and then leave the table. I just cannot tolerate it anymore.

***********************

Its almost evening and I have been observing Khushi repeating that same mistake of texting from her mobile constantly. It's been 3 hours dude!!!! Doesnt she get bored? Even when my Di is talking to her, I hardly find Khushi even concentrating, she was that much lost in her phone. This is heights, I cant tolerate anyone disrespecting my Di. I am about to take steps towards them but Jeejaji stops me.

Shyam: Rani Saheba told me that you havnt talked to Khushi about Sonia yet.
Arnav: ( giving a sarcastic look at Khushi once who was at some distance): I dont think she is really interested at the moment.
Shyam: Doesnt matter Arnav. But you need to tell her that someday.

I shook my head accepting what Jeejaji said. He caresses my arm and then giving a weak smile moves away.

Anjali: Chotte.. Please drop Khushi back home. (she orders)

I frown at my Di who pouts behind Khushi and giving me a pleading look. I understand she is not going to allow me deny her request and may be this is the best time I can utilize to talk to Khushi about Sonia. I walk out to start my car while Khushi gets busy in saying Goodbye to my family.

***********************

In the Car I am still surprised seeing this woman typing fast on her mobile. What the hell is wrong with her? This is so disrespectful. She doesnt even care whom she is sitting beside and in what situation? Today afternoon she was so much eager to know about Sonia and now she doesnt even care to repeat that question when finally she has got some time alone with me? I cant take it anymore. In frustration I always cross my Speed limits and the same happened today. I drove the car speedily towards her home. She stumbled on the seat with the rough jerks my car took on the road at the various speed breakers and in few minutes she became totally annoyed with my driving.

"Will you please Drive slow? I get terrified by speed", Khushi stated in a very harsh tone to me. I stop the car at once not liking the way she yelled at me. She is confused when I do so. She turns towards me and I am already looking at her in frustration.

Arnav: First open your mouth and tell me clearly the "do's" and "dont's" of your life .. Then expect me to follow them. I am not a Mind reader who will understand everything that you want.

This is probably the first time I am actually yelling at a woman in such a high pitch. We both take few seconds to realise what we conversed..She instantly lowers her eyes and looks away. I too lean back on my seat, gripping the stearing wheel tight in my palms, controlling my anger.

Khushi: Sorry.. !! ( she weakly utters)

I give her a plain look and then start my car. The best thing which happened after this little fight was that, she didnt use her mobile anymore to text. Either she feared I would shout at her again or may be she decided to pay me and our new relationship so called respect which I really appreciate. I dropped her at the gates, she gets down hurriedly. I step out of my car too being a gentleman. I am not expecting her to say anything, neither I am hoping she would say a "Bye" to me. I am glad atleast she took some time to stop by my side, though little confused thinking what should be her next actions. I dont let her think much.

Arnav: Tell Uncle I had some work which is why I didnt step in. I will see him some other time.

She looks in my eyes. May be she didnt like the tone I used. But its not my problem. If I get angry, I maintain that same tone for hours and hours.. Its very hard for any person to change my mood that easily. I get back in my car and drive out.

***********************

Next Morning

Khushi is ready to leave somewhere and Madhumati stops her in the Living room at the wrong time.

Madhumati: Ehh Khoosi.. Where are you going?
Khushi sighed in disappointment but then quickly placed a normal smile on her face and came to her Aunt.

Khushi: Hobby Class Buaji..
Madhumati: Hobby Class? Which new hobby you are cultivating now?
Khushi: Buaji.. I am learning to cook..
Madhumati: Cook? Why do you need a Hobby class to learn cooking? I will teach you all the dishes which the Raizada's would love to eat..
Khushi (frowned): How do you know what the Raizada's like to eat? Were you their cook in the last birth?

Madhumati hit her gently on arms

Madhumati: Dont joke with me. Samjhi? No need to go anywhere. Just stay at home and learn to cook from me..

Khushi was absolutely angry .. She was tired of this cage her Buaji and father were putting around her. But it was not their fault.. She had done few mistakes in the past which had made them take precautions now. She saw her father coming down, all neatly dressed and going to work. She stopped him.

Khushi: Dad.. Please tell Buaji naa.. She is not letting me go to Hobby class. Its my first day today and I really dont wish to be late.. (she complained)
Madhumati: Shashi.. She can learn to cook from me.. Why classes for that?
Khushi ( interrupting): Dad please.. I am doing this for my own benefit.. You know I felt so shameful when Anjali di asked me if I know to cook ?
Shashi: (sighed): Good that you are finally opening your eyes and seeing the reality.. I am glad you are taking this relationship seriosuly too.
Khushi: ( smiled): I have no choice.. Thats what you have made me realised, didnt you ?

Shashi was quiet.. Sometimes he felt his daughter was taunting him for fixing her marriage alliance against her wish.

Khushi: Anyways.. Should I go then? I will be back home by afternoon..

She quickly hugged her father and was about to leave but Shashi stopped her.

Shashi: I am going to office, will drop you onway..
Khushi: But Dad, I will take another car.. You might get late.
Shashi: I wont.. Come..

Madhumati was then satisfied.. She sometimes really feared to send Khushi out alone.. She had no trust on Khushi anymore. .

*********************

Raizada House

I am getting ready to leave for work. I had wasted my day yesterday by being home, today I cant risk that. I am almost wearing my Waistcoat when Di comes in talking over the phone. She is smiling.. She disconnects the phone and then starts laughing hard. Does she get only my room to do this?

Arnav: Di all okay with you or has jeejaji's presence made you little crack? ( I tease her to which she frowns and comes to me helping me with the Suit)
Anjali: Your would be wife is really serious about this marriage now.. You know Khushi has joined some Hobby classes from today for learning to COOK. Poor girl. I think we scared her yesterday by asking what all she knows to cook.

I was amazed how can someone who looked so disinterested till I saw her last evening suddenly become so serious about her future in this house..

Anjali: I am going to message her your favourite dishes.. She should concentrate on those first. ( Di pulls my cheeks . I try to avoid her)
Arnav: No need Di. Let her learn it by herself. We shouldnt be pressurising her for anything.
Anjali: Aww.. So much care for her? Abhi se? ( She teases me again)

I pick my laptop bag and leave the room. I AM DONE with this talk and teases already.. Di isnt satisfied though. She follows me..

Anjali: Accha.. Chotte.. Dont forget to get my Report from the Hospital.. ( she blushes while saying that)

I stop and then turn around happily. I forgot to mention.. Di has once again done some tests 2 days back to check if she is pregnant. The reports collection is at the evening today and since Di and Jeejaji are going out for some other important work, the collection of Reports is my duty which I can never deny doing. I want to be the first person in this house to know her result..

Arnav: Keep your fingers crossed ( I say that with a smile looking at my Di who nods with excitement)

She thinks I am her lucky charm.. Though even the earlier reports I have collected and I didnt turn out to be lucky for her yet. But who knows? May be today is the moment when we all get this news that my Di is carrying a baby inside her.? I walk hurriedly back to my car to start for office while Di keeps waving her hands at me..

_______________________________________________________________________________

Part 6

Its evening already and I am with Aman at the Gynecologist to collect my Di's report. Suddenly Di's name is called and I am been asked to get inside the Dr's cabin to collect Di's report from the Doctor directly. I am looking behind at Aman gesturing him to wait there till I come back when suddenly I bump with someone... I immediately hold the lady who just came out of that Dr's cabin worrying if she got hurt because of me. But I am quite surprised to find that woman none other than my fiancée Khushi Gupta. She too is surprised seeing me there. We both utter at the same time.

Arnav: Tum?
Khushi: Aap?

We both give few seconds to ourselves and then finally I am the first one to speak.

Arnav: What are you doing here?
She gives me a confused look as if trying to hide her reply.
Khushi: I.. Uhh. .I
Arnav: Dont insist yourself to answer me if its too personal.

I realise a woman can have any types of concerns if she is visiting a Gynac.. Its not that only Pregnant womans need to visit these kind of Doctors.. She hesitates to answer me anything and I dont bother her even. But I want to clarify her why I am here. She shouldnt be taking it otherwise..

Arnav: I came to collect Di's reports..
Khushi: Ohh. Uhh.. The Dr might be waiting for you then.. ( she seemed in a hurry)
Arnav: Bye..

She smiled weakly and left towards the exit. I get inside. Dr Kavita is waiting for me there. She has been very kind enough to patiently wait for me to enter.

Dr Kavita: Come ASR.. Congratulations.. I heard you got Engaged..
She shakes her hand with me and I just sit opposite to her not even telling her that the patient who just visited her before me was none other than my Fiancee..
Arnav: Di's reports?

She smiles and opens the Drawer handing the envelope to me proudly.
Dr Kavita: Check it yourself.
I open the enevelope and feel extremely happy reading the Result as "POSITIVE".

Arnav: Goshh!! Finally!! ( I breathe a sigh of relief.)
Dr Kavita: Yes.. Finally. . Anjali is pregnant from 3 weeks. I thought of telling her this personally on the call but then I stopped myself. I knew she would love to hear that from you.
Arnav: She will be totally happy. Is she fine? I mean her health and all?
Dr Kavita: Yes she is doing good at the moment. But from now she will have to come for frequent visits..
Arnav: Great. I will ask her to see you soon then.
Dr Kavita: Alright. Bye..

I leave the cabin with the enevelope which has my Di's future in it. I am desperately waiting to let her know. I want to see her expressions. Infact I can see her face already before me.. Shying.. blushing and then may be hugging me to supress her anxiety.

********************

My family is rejoicing the Pregnancy news .. I see Nani blessing Jeejaji.. Manorama Chachi is kissing Di on her forehead and probably giving her some tips on how she needs to rest from now on. Lavanya is totally excited. .She is guessing if its a girl or a boy.. Akash and Payal are the next one to give us this news and they too are blushing now as NK is teasing them to learn something from Di and Jeejaji. Everyone is so much lost in this news. Di finally comes to me and gives me a tight hug. She is weeping, I know. I can feel her tears on my shoulder and I quickly hug her tight to make her feel better. Finally she pulls back from the hug and then looks in my eyes.

Anjali: You wont congratulate me?
Arnav: Do I have to do that officially?
Di smiles and pinches my cheeks.
Anjali: You dont really believe in wishing people on their best day, do you ?
Arnav: But my wishes are still with them.. So tell me what you want today from us? We all are super excited with this news.
Lavanya: Very Good Bhai.. We should be actually gifting Di something. What do you want Di?
Shyam: Just Di? Am I not responsible for this happiness?

I smirk at my Jeejaji's comment. He stands beside me and keeps his arm on my back.

Akash: Jeejaji.. The best would be lets party.. What do you say Di?
Anjali: Party?
Nani: No Party.. We wont let the pregnancy news out until Anjali crosses her 5th or 6th month.. Its not good to inform everyone so early..

I knew Nani might have such orthodox thoughts but I dont mind following them because I want my Di's pregnancy to go smooth..

Anjali: Nani is right.. Lets not throw any grand party now.. But haan.. We can still celeberate it within our family members..
Shyam: Family Lunch? Outing? What do you want?
Lavanya , NK, Akash , Payal screamed "OUTING" aloud.. I was just silent.. I am okay with anything..
Anjali ( gigled): Okay.. So Outing .. Lets fix it..
Arnav: Cool.. Decide the venue.. I will ask Aman to make the arrangements..
Lavanya: Di.. will we hide this from Khushi bhabhi too?
Anjali: No.. Never.. She is also a part of this family now.. She oughts to know. Chotte.. Why dont you call her up tonight and speak to her? I mean give her this news?

I was astounded.
Arnav: Di I? Its a ladies talk..
Anjali: You both will be husband wife some day.. You can share any talks on any topics now. Samjhe? Just tell her about my pregnancy and haan.. Also ask her to be free for the Outing.. She is going to join us.
"No Way".. I cant believe they are planning to invite her for the Outing too? If she comes, I will surely be uncomfortable. I still nod in agreement and leave upstairs..

**********************

I close my eyes to sleep and that reminds me of one last task which was been assigned by Di. I had to inform Khushi about Di's pregnancy. This was so much against my personality. Me and Khushi didnt even have a proper conversation yet and the family was asking me to start with these topic? The pregnancy one? Damm!! I pick my phone and then dialed her number. I had to search it in my Phone book as she was not in my Speed dial yet. Probably this is the first time I am calling her. The bell rings and she answers the call.

Khushi: Hello. Whose this?
Now that pisses me off. Hasnt she saved my number yet? How can she ask me that?
Arnav: Its time you save my number Khushi. Might be useful in cutting off the suspense atleast.

She recognised its me.

Khushi: Uhh.. yea.. I had.. I dont know how it missed.. Ummm. .I will do it again.
WHy do I feel she is lieing? She never saved my number and she is just giving excuses to me that she did that ..
Arnav: Di is pregnant.
I shut my eyes gulping down the uneasiness I am feeling inside for talking on such topics with an unknown woman. She is quiet for sometime and then she bluntly replies back.
Khushi: Ohh. Good. Congrats.
Thats all. She is quiet again. WHy do I feel she has no interest in me or this marriage? Somehow I have this feeling right from the time we met. I still continue my other points not to miss them out at the last moment.
Arnav: We are all going for an outing. Farm house. Di wants you to come.
She is quiet again. May be she is deciding.
Arnav: You there?
Khushi: Uhh.. yea.. I mean.. No.. Outing ? Dad wont agree.

I feel that was a rushed reply from her. Its not possible that Shashi Uncle doesnt agree to send her out with us.
Arnav: We are not strangers now, I hope. I dont see any reasons why he wont send you.
Damm!! Why am I defending myself? Do I want her to come?
Khushi: I will speak to him. ( she rudely replies)
Arnav: Okay.
Khushi: Bye.
She again seems to be in a hurry. I feel pathetic knowing that. She is the first woman I am tolerating only for my family. I disconnect the call.

****************

Next Day

Khushi: Now where did all that morals go Buaji? Its a one night outing.
Buaji: So? You are going to get married in that house. And its just not you and Arnav going out. You have their whole family.
Khushi: So? I know how these classy people's parties are.. Drinking and all that. Its obvious they will make me spend more time with him.. What if he misbehaves?

Buaji pats her own head hearing Khushi's thoughts.

Shashi: Mind your words Khushi. Arnav is not like that.
Khushi: How can you be so sure? Look dad.. ( she sat beside Shashi).. he is a widower.. No wife.. No Girlfriend.. From past 2 years. Now suddenly he is engaged to me. There are chances he might .. ( she was about to continue but Shashi interrupted)
Shashi: Dont point at an innocent man Khushi only because you want an excuse not to go.

Khushi frowned and looked away.

Shashi: Madhumati.. Pack her bags.. She is going with them.
Khushi: But dad?

Shashi got up and left the room. Khushi gritted her teeth and walked away.

*****************
Outing Day - Morning

I place the Champagne bottles in the backseat of my Car, gently, ensuring they dont fall and break. Akash gets some fruits basket.
Arnav: Seriously Akash? Are we carrying all that ?
Akash: We will drink Arnav.. Not Di.. She is Pregnant .. Remember? ( he winked)

I give him a cold stare as he really answered my dumb question very well. Am I becoming dumb these days? Or may be my mind is not attentive these days.
Anjali: CHotte.. Just call up Khushi and check if Khushi is ready ? Tell her we will pick her in 30 minutes.
I give her a warning look for putting me again in an unwanted situation. She pouts pleading and I look away from her , picking my phone to dial that Madam. She answered the call after 2 rings.
Khushi: Hello.. Whose this?

My temper surely rises . She didnt save my number yet? Thats heights of ignorance. I pass the phone to Di and go away without even uttering a word.

Anjali: Hello. Khushi?
Khushi: Ohh Haan Di..
Anjali: Are you ready? We are starting now.
Khushi: Ji. ( she weakly replies)

Anjali smilingly cuts the call and looks for Arnav to return back the phone. She is still thinking what made him pass her phone like that? Why did he go away? Was everything alright? Whatever major differences her Chotte and Khushi shared, she hopes this outing will make it lesser if not wipe off all.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Part 7

We have a very luxurious Farmhouse at the Outskirts of Delhi, almost 100kms away from the city. Its well maintained with rich interiors. A perfect blend for a Sophisticated family like ours to spend some quality time partying. To be honest, I love Silence and if it would have been my choice to decide what was the best way to celeberate, my reply would be .. Enjoying a soft music and Order some best food and Wine. A peaceful way of spending time with your close ones. But my family was totally opposite to me. For them partying means lots of noise and family chats.

Well, so we were here to pick up my Fiancee Khushi Gupta from her house. Luckily she didnt make us wait for long. She was standing at the gates of her house with her Buaji. I was driving the car and Akash the other one. Jeejaji immediately got down vacating the seat for Khushi. They wanted her to sit in the front with me. I give a sarcastic expression to my Di from the front mirror. She manages to hold her gigle and just pouts. Jeejaji loads Khushi's bags behind. I see them from the Rear mirror. He is trying his best to be comfortable with Khushi. I wave Akash in the other car to start ahead of us. We shall follow them soon once Jeejaji and Khushi gets in. Akash drives away with NK, Lavanya, Payal, Manorama Chachi and Chachu.

So Khushi gets inside and locks the door.

Arnav: Seat belt !! ( I roughly command)
Di must have understood from my tone that I was unhappy about something but she will take ages to realise what that is, though she can guess its something to do with Khushi only. Khushi had still not saved my Number? Thats ridiculous. !! I start the car engine after ensuring Khushi had tied the Seat belt.

Khushi ( turning behind to Anjali): Di.. Congratulations..

I see di holding Jeejaji's hand warmly.

Anjali: You have turned very lucky for us Khushi.
Arnav: Excuse Me!! ( I raise my voice looking in the front mirror at my DI) ..
Anjali: Aww.. Chotte dont be so insecure for giving your position to others.
Khushi was confused what were they exactly trying to discuss.
Anjali: (clarified): Actually Khushi.. I always sent Arnav all these years to get my Test reports. I consider him lucky for us. But this time I should give the credit to you. Since the time you and Chotte have got engaged, we are hearing many good news. And my Pregnancy is one of them.

Khushi passed a weak smile and then turn around again to look ahead. Jeejaji and Di are continuously talking. Me and Khushi both can hear them whispering something. Its not that hard to guess they were having lovey dovey conversations. They deserved this happiness. After 2 years their prayers were heard by God and they were soon going to be blessed by a cute baby.

*********************

Outhouse

We get down the car as our Servants welcome us and start unloading our luggages. Looking at the number of bags we had carried here, it would seem like we are going to stay for atleast 7 days. I give that credit to all the womens of my family. They were always excited when it came to family outing and every little thing they used in their daily life became important for them to carry in their luggage which is why the count of bags go high..

Lavanya rush to Khushi who is scanning the garden and the big Basket ball court beside it.

Lavanya: You know to play Basket Ball Khushi Bhabhi?
Khushi nods a clear "NO".
Lavanya: Really? You dont know Basket Ball? Dont worry, we are not going to make you play. I am just asking.

Khushi doesnt change her reply.

Anjali: Lavanya dont trouble her. Not everyone is good at such outdoor games. Not even me.
NK: True Di. So which is your favourite Sport Khushi Bhabhi? Tell tell.. ( he smiles )
Khushi: I dont play games much. I just watch Cricket with Dad.
NK: Really? just that much? You know Nannav? He is best at almost every outdoor game. Cricket.. Basketball, Soccer.. Just name it, and he will show his best skills. Hai naa Nannav?

I frown because I dont like people praising me so much, even though whatever he said was true. I am really good in sports. I was a champion in Basket ball in College and always been the Captain of my Cricket team in School. Khushi doesnt meet her eyes with me. Its like she is not interested in knowing much about what I am good at. Sometimes I feel I am overjudging her.. May be she is not that uninterested like I was thinking. But I dont have a proof. For that I will have to talk to her and clear what she has in her heart.

Anjali : NK..Lavanya.. Enough of your questions. Let Khushi enter the house at least. And one more thing, let me warn everyone here. We are not just celeberating the good news of my Pregnancy here. But we also have to give the would be couple enough time to spend with each other. No one is going to disturb them. Am I clear?

I knew this would be the top priority for my Di to make me and Khushi talk openly in this new place. Khushi gets uneasy with the idea and I leave inside in the pretext of making calls to Aman.

*********************

Few Hours later

After pours the Champagne in the men's glasses and we all toast it together at the drawing room.

Akash: This toast is for Jeejaji.. For giving us the honors of becoming Uncle's.
Manohar: And Daadu .. ( he adds)

Jeejaji smiles broadens as he first gulps the liquid down his throat. He was a proud man since this news of Di's pregnancy was out. I gulp the drink next and thats when I hear Khushi's voice from the door. I stop and look at her.

Khushi ( not looking at Arnav but Shyam): Uhh.. Di was asking where are the fruits basket?
Shyam: Umm.. I think the servant took it out. Didnt he?
Akash: Ohh Jeejaji.. Why do you bother? Let Arnav handle it. Arnav.. Will you please assist Khushi Bhabhi in finding the basket?

I knew Akash was purposely asking me this. He was obeying Di's words of giving me and Khushi ample time to be together. I finish the drink in one shot and leave. She follows me. I look everywhere. Even in the Kitchen when she points out.

Khushi: We have looked in the Kitchen already. Its not here.

I stop and move out of the room, thats when she says something.

Khushi: When you find it, please send it to Di.

Now I know why she says that. She doesnt want to be a part of this search anymore.  I am not feeling good anyway by her ignoring gestures. So I look at her.

Arnav: Khushi I think we should talk. ( I dont beat around the bush.I just say what I feel is in my heart)

I see her eyes widening as if she hadnt expected me to say this.

Khushi: Ta..aaallkk? ( She stammers)

I sigh seeing her confused expressions. Reading her mind was so next to impossible .She was one of those women for me who has secrets. Unveiling those was going to be difficult for me if I dont take a lead and talk to her.

Arnav: I will send the Basket to Di when I find. Meet me at the Garden in 30 minutes.

I dont wait to know her reply. I walk off but I know she wasnt very positive about this. HELL!! I dont care!!

******************

Garden - 30 minutes later

I am the first one to reach there and wait for her. Girls are known to be Unpunctual, at least in my dictionary. The woman's I have been living with, or heard about have never set an example of reaching the place on time. Dont know what keeps them so busy at wrong times. I am going to wait for her just 10 more minutes and after that I will leave inside. I am not interested to catch cold in this chilling weather out. Its December month going on, which means Winter in Delhi and the temperatures here drop to a very lower levels, especially at such Outskirts. I am wearing a Pull over Sweater so not really that bothered about the cold.

I wait.. wait . and wait for the next 10 minutes and finally decide to leave. The moment I turn, I see her coming out. She has covered herself with a Shawl over that dress.  I finally feel better as she didnt go against my words. She was here.. To TALK. .

She stops at a distance from me but her eyes still not meeting mine.

Arnav: There is a Swing at the Left, if you want to sit.
Khushi : I am fine ( she says rubbing her palms due to the cold)

I dont really understand why she does this? Not rubbing the palms.. I mean .. the way she keeps ignoring my eyes. I know who does that. People who are hiding something from you.

Arnav: I insist Khushi. Just sit..
She finally obeys and takes few steps to reach the Big Swing which has enough place for atleast 3 people to sit. I dont join her on the Swing, but I do make myself comfortable on the Wooden chair which is next to it. I pull it at a place where I can sit facing Khushi.I give her few more seconds to be comfortable and then start.

Arnav: I have been observing you from quite a few days. I feel you are not interested in this marriage to happen. Is that So?

Once again I hit the direct question. I am not a man who can twists the words for hours and then come to the point. She fiddles with her dupatta as if trying to find a reply.

Arnav: You dont have to think so much for answering me this. Its just a YES or a NO Khushi.

She is unable to prepare her mind for responding me this.

Arnav: Is there anyone else in your life whom you want to be in my place?

This is the last thing I can ask her to get the matter resolved. She instantly looks at me, straight in my eyes. I try to read her.

Arnav: Look. .If there is someone else, we dont have to do this. Lets stop it right here. I mean, I will talk to your dad if he is the one not understanding your seriousness in someone else.

She looks surprisingly at me as if she hadnt expected me to be so cool about it. I am not being cool.. I just want to keep things simple unlike her. She gulps and then softly replies back to me.

Khushi: Its your kindness to ask me that. I wasnt really prepared for marriage at the moment.. Dad and Buaji are in a hurry. I know there point of view too. I am a headache to them may be.
Arnav : Daughters are never a Headache to any parents Khushi. Remove that thought from your mind. I might now know your father from long but I know him better than you I guess. He loves you very much.

Khushi ( angrily): Which father fixes his daughter's marriage to a Widower? Does he think I cant get better proposals? I am not a Divorcee, neither a Widow who can never get better proposals ahead. How can he .. ( she would have complained more but she realised she was talking all this to the ME and that her words might hurt me too. So she stops. )

I gulp the uneasiness of this situation realising her problem. She is not completely wrong.

Khushi: So...rryy.. ( she forces this word from her mouth feeling extremely out of place now)

Arnav: I dont know why your father chose me, its something only he can tell you. May be you are right. A girl like you can get better proposals than this. Its hard for any woman to accept the position of being a Second wife to a man. I had objected your father when he shared his thought of making you my wife. May be I could have convinced him better which I failed to do and hence we both have reached here.. Got engaged even though we have no compatibility between us and neither you look interested in fixing this gap. Once we get back to Delhi, I will talk to Shashi Uncle.

I try to get up and leave but she holds my arm. I see her again.

Khushi: Dont.. !! Dont tell him anything.. Please..

She realises I am not going to agree for that. So she tries explaining again.

Khushi: I have given him enough troubles already. He will think I have forced you to talk on my behalf.

I dont allow her to explain anything further which can change my mind. I know what I have to do. I shove her arm off mine and leave the Garden. I am still trying to erase what she said.. I am a Widower.. No one can change that. I have no rights to make a woman sacrifice her wishes, her dreams for becoming a part of my family.

_________________________________________________________________________________


Part 8

I literally slam the door behind me to ensure no one else enters my room at the moment. I dont want anyone to feel the pain in my eyes. Di always keeps telling me my eyes are expressive. They tend to reveal everything about me. Good.. worse... Just every damm feeling I go through from within. But unlike her, not everyone is a good reader. Why couldnt I pick the gestures of Khushi for not being interested in marrying me, earlier? This confrontation which happened between us should have been happened even before the engagement. Atleast things would not have screwed up to this extent. Now the whole family wants to see us together, they have started building hopes and their dreams about me and Khushi having a happy future has no end. What will they go through if they know Khushi is not happy with this alliance? They will be disturbed.. Especially Di.. She will break down. She is already celeberating the news of becoming pregnant. Will she be able to take such worse situations further ? Can it harm her health? She is so much attached to me.. She will feel the same pain I am going through. How can I resist that from happening?

I sit on the couch, my arms hiding my face. If at this stage I think about my family and keep them in shadow of the fake happiness which me and Khushi are both showing, it might lead to only a temporary satisfaction. This cant be permanent. Some or the other day they will come to know the truth. And I have given my words to Khushi about sorting this out, I cant step back now. I will have to speak to Shashi Uncle and stop this proposal right here, atleast someone between us needs to have a normal life. I have already lost the hope of being a normal husband again, but Khushi need'nt have to go through that feeling. She is a woman, and even if a woman is known for her high patience, I wont like her to suffer with me for being my second wife when she can easily get better life partners than me.

*****************

After few hours

Everyone is at the garden enjoying the special Barbeque dinner which is grilled fresh at a small counter by our farm house chefs. I join the family trying to act normal.

NK: Nannav... mere bhai.. Want some chiken tikka's?

I plainly deny and sit next to Di who is eating some green salad.

Anjali: Chotte? Where were you for so long? I thought you will spend some time here with Khushi, forgetting all your work, but looks like I was wrong.

I roll my eyes to see Khushi who was trying her best to smile at Lavanya while eating the salad. But I could see she had her ears and mine and Di's conversation. May be she wanted to ensure I dont speak anything to anyone here which can land her in trouble.

Arnav: How's the salad ? ( I try to divert the topic)
Anjali: Green!! ( she replied and gigled)
Whatever she was doing, didnt make me smile even.. I was that much disturbed. She picked it from my face and then kept the plate aside.
Anjali: Whats bothering you so much?
Arnav: Nothing.

I try to get up but she holds my hand and makes me glued beside her.

Anjali: Is it about Sonia?  ( she asks gulping a deep pain within her throat)

I still dont utter anything.

Anjali: Did you speak to Khushi about her?
Arnav: ( sighed): I dont think its needed anymore.

I dont want to give further explanations to anyone beyond this so I step away to make a plate for myself. I know Di would be thinking for hours now to understand why I said something like that. I am about to take a plate when Manorama chachi stops me.

Manorama: Hello Hi Arnav Bitwa.. We are tired of seeing you and Khushi away from each other. This is a family get together time. And you both are the fresh couple for us. Wait a minute.. !! Khushi.. ( she called out )

Within few seconds Khushi came there and stood beside me.

Khushi: Ji Aunty..
Manorama: Stick together .. you both.. Got it? I want to see you with each other till this Dinner disperses. Understood? And its the last warning. After this, I will punish you both for not listening to us. ( she chuckled ).. Make his plate Khushi. He is hungry..I know you dont know about his likes and all, start finding it from now.. I will give you the first clue.. He loves Chicken.. Now rest.. you find it yourself.. Bye..

Manorama handed a plate to Khushi which she can start making for Arnav and left the scene.. We both are numb.. I compose myself and try to take the plate back from her but she holds it tight not leaving it .

Khushi: I dont want to get punished. ( she murmurs)

I look in her eyes and then taking a deep sigh I keep walking as she starts serving me in the plate.

Khushi: Please dont tell anything to Dad .. ( she whispers)

I get annoyed.

Arnav: I dont like playing games with my family Khushi. And besides I believe in keeping things simple and transparent.
Khushi: I will land up in trouble if you tell him straightly that I was the one who showed disinterest in this proposal. I dont want to lose my Dad's trust on me..
Arnav: He is your father.. If you are unhappy with this alliance, I dont think he will have any reasons to push you on purpose into it.
Khushi: You dont understand..!!
Arnav: ( gritting my teeth): I .. I dont understand? ( I try to act polite but she can make it out I am losing my temper)
Khushi: Rice? ( she tries to cool me down by diverting the topic)

I snatch the plate from her and then walk away not bothering about any punishment which Manorama Chachi would imply on us if she doesnt see us together..

*****************

Flashback Starts

I am looking for her like mad. She isnt anywhere in the room, neither the house. Where can she go? Di had told me she didnt make it for lunch either. And everyone thought she might be in the bedroom resting. I call her name out again and again so that if she hears, she responds back. But to no luck. I am just about to leave the room when suddenly I hear some sound from the closet. As if something was been moved inside it. I realise its her. I rush immediately and slid the closet open. Sonia is sitting inside and watching me with a smile.

Arnav: Sonia? What are you doing here? Come out..
Sonia: My Doll.. Where is it?
Arnav: Doll?? ( I ask in surprise)

She gets angry suddenly and starts hiting my chest roughly.

Sonia: You took it. I know. I hate you. Jao yahan se. Jao ( Go from here. Go)

I hold her hands stopping her from hitting me.

Arnav: Your doll is down. Come.

I try to hold and get her out but the moment I touch her, she grabs my arm and bites my wrist hard. I feel immense pain but until I could do anything about it, she leaves me and runs out happily chirping that even after being found, I couldnt catch hold of her. I look at my bruised Wrist and try to ease off the pain which my newly wed wife Sonia Raizada just gave me due to her mental instability.

Flashback Ends

The door knock make me open my eyes and come out of the past memories. Its 07:00 am and a new day has begun already. Di gets inside my room.

Anjali: Chotte.. Khushi.. Khushi is not in the house.. !! ( she replied in a scared tone)

I immediately got up from the bed pushing my Quilt aside.

Arnav: ( rubbing eyes): What do you mean she is not in the house..? Where can she go?
Anjali: I dont know.. I just looked for her everywhere.. She is not even answering her phone.. I am feeling scared Chotte.. She is our responsibility..

I walk to Di and clutch her arms.

Arnav: Di relax.. Just calm down.. Khushi will be somewhere around.. I will look for her.

I quickly rush to the bathroom  to wash my face so that I can then look for this woman.. !! Where can she go such an early morning? Was it a coincidence? I was just remembering the past when I was looking for my first wife Sonia.. And the moment I came back to my present, I have to look for my future wife Khushi.

******************


After a long search of one hour around the farm house, I found Khushi feeding horses in the stable. She was in her morning jogging dress and probably she stopped by the stable showing some interest in the animals here. She is still feeding them when I reach and turn her around. She looks at me with surprise. I dont give her a chance to speak first.

Arnav: What kind of ignorance is this ? Do you know the whole family is looking for you in the house? You are our responsibility and any such carelessness wont be tolerated. If you had to go out, you could inform someone.  ( I fist my fingers to control my anger) Dont you ever do that to them again.

She doesnt stay calm after this .

Khushi: Excuse me? I am not a kid who needs to be baby sitted all the time. And I dont want anyone to take my responsibility either. I can do that on my own. And one minute.. Who are you to tell me what I should do and what not?

I step towards her in extreme frustration. She moves back a step.

Arnav: I am your FIANCEE Khushi.. Even if you and I dont accept that fully yet, even though we are on the verge of breaking our engagement, you still cant talk to me like that.
Khushi: You are insecured Mr.!! Since the time I told you where you stand in my life, you are feeling insecured.. Thats where these rudeness is coming from. Let me ask you one thing.. Did you behave the same with your first wife too? Did you and your family impose such restrictions on her as well? Did you get equally tensed for not finding her before your eyes even for few hours?

She had touched his wrong nerves.

Arnav ( blurted out in anger): Yes .. !! I did.. I and my whole family used to get tensed when she wasnt before our eyes even for minutes.. We used to baby sit her.. We imposed restrictions on whom she meets and where she goes.. Because she was mentally unstable.. Right from her birth..Do you understand that? And one more thing Miss Khushi Gupta.. Dont give yourself so much importance that people start disliking you. I have no regrets on breaking this engagement of ours forget becoming insecured for losing a chance to re-marry and settling down. I am least interested in such relationships now..

She stares at me unusually as if she heard the unexpected. Who cares ? I leave the place not disturbing her for long. If she needs privacy, so be it!!

_________________________________________________________________________________

Part 9

Mentally unstable? His wife was not fit mentally? By birth? Then why did he marry her? Khushi had so many questions clouded in her mind. She reached the farm house slowly when Lavanya and Anjali immediately blocked her way.

Anjali: Khushi? Where were you? We were worried.
Khushi: I had been for a Jog and then on the way I stopped by the Horse stable to feed the horses.
Lavanya: Di, didnt I tell you she will be fine? We need to give Khushi Bhabhi some space. ( she gigled)

Anjali felt sorry when Lavanya advised this. Khushi picked up from the reactions of Anjali that she was hurt.

Khushi: Its fine Di. I understand your worry.
Anjali smiled at her.
Lavanya:  By the way what happened to Bhai? He had gone to look for you, didnt he? Why was he so frustrated when he returned back?
Anjali: He doesnt need a reason to get frustrated sometimes. But I hope he didnt scold you Khushi.

Khushi recollected the conversation she and Arnav had near the Stable. The way he spoke to her was much worse than a proper scolding.

Anjali: Tell me khushi (she shook her a bit)
Khushi: No. .uhh. .I will get my bath and be right back. Excuse me!

Without letting the two ladies ask her some more questions, Khushi chose to flee from there.

*******************

It took an hour for Khushi to finish her shower. She stood at the balcony of this Bunglow to pat her hair dry. Thats when she saw the men of the house playing Basket ball. NK, Akash, Shyam and ofcourse.. Arnav Singh Raizada. They had paired up in two teams.  Arnav and NK were in one team probably. The ball kept on passing from Shyam to Akash for long until Arnav managed to get it from them. He was sweating hard, few strands of hair sticking to his forehead just like the Sleevless T shirt clinged to him. Khushi didnt realise when her eyes glued on him from seconds.. to minutes .. and minutes to more minutes.. until she started getting interested in this play.. The moment Arnav was successful in winning a goal for his team, despite of all the hurdles Shyam and Akash lay between him and the basket, Khushi jumped on her foot feeling extremely excited, dropping the towel from her hand to the ground. Thats when Arnav's attention drew towards her. NK was jumping in joy, almost hugging Arnav for winning this game whereas his eyes stuck on her face for few seconds and then he ignored her.

Khushi on the other hand also felt little embarassed to have been admiring the same man with who she had almost broke the engagement, atleast in verbal terms, just few hours back and hence rushed inside the room.

*******************

After another short day, the family packed the stuff again in the car , ready to leave. Our vacation time was over and we had to head back to Delhi and continue our normal routine.  No wonder this short trip would be memorable to each one of us as we could get some time for ourselves from our busy schedules. The cars were loaded with the bags and it was still being decided who would sit with whom and in which car, when suddenly I made his decision.

Arnav: Di I am driving with Akash ahead. We need to discuss some business.
Anjali: (pouted): Vacation is not even over yet and you started working?

Whatever she commented I didnt had to wait for her acknowledgement. I folded my shirt's arm to get comfortable for driving the car myself. I was very well aware Miss Khushi Gupta was staring at me from the corner. Probably she must be rejoicing the fact that she wont have to sit next to me again in the car and get teased by my family. Same was my case. Just like her, I too got uncomfortable whenever she took the front seat. May be because however hard I try to forget, I still remember Sonia and her antics when she sat beside me. The way Sonia used to play with the Devi Maiyaa's chunri ( Veil) which is been tied to the front mirror in my car. She had a attraction towards that color. Also, how could I forget, she always used to grip my arm tight whenever the car bumped over the Speed breaker.  Her gigles still echo in my ears. Even after 2 years, I am still so much used to all these gestures which were once part of my life.

I close my eyes for few seconds to wipe off those memories from my head. Thats when I hear my sister giving orders to Khushi.

Anjali: Khushi, you go along with Arnav and Akash in their car. They will drop you home.

I open my eyes and give Di a dark glance. I know she did this on purpose. Cant she leave us both alone for the return trip atleast? Khushi comes forward to get in my car. Akash winks at me opening the front door for her. I give him a warning look now. Damm!! Those teases!!

Khushi: You sit ahead Akash.. You have to talk business. I will be fine behind.
Akash: You sure Bhabhi?

I dont understand one thing. Why do they start terming her as "bhabhi" so early ? We are just engaged, not married that they use this word. And most importantly very soon after I talk to Shashi Uncle, my family members will have to stop taking this word for Khushi forever. She is not going to take that place in my life which they want.

Khushi: Trust me I will be fine.

Saying that she gets inside from the backdoor. I take the Wheels and Akash joins me in the front.  I drive the car out of this place.

********************

Unvoluntarily I do glance in the front mirror at times, and find her dozing. Good for me. Atleast I will not have to be extra conscious when I talk to Akash. When she wakes up after few minutes, we are hardly few kms away from the Delhi city. Akash asks me to drop him by the next lane as he has to meet someone there. Khushi gets to the front seat after Akash bids her bye. She looks worried at me.

Khushi: I hope you arent going to talk to my Father today.

I dont respond.

Khushi: I am talking to you. Atleast say a Yes or No.

I still dont answer and keep driving. I am angry on her, for the way she behaved in the morning. Those unnecesary frustrations she took out on me at the stable. This woman had attitude problems which is why I doubt we would ever be compatible for each other.

Khushi ( folding arms in anger): Fine.. I too wont waste my time asking.  (she murmured and looked straight ahead)

After some 15 minutes of silence finally I drive the car inside the gates of Gupta house. I park it there and obviously as I have to talk to Shashi Uncle right now and finish this so called matter, I also step out along with Khushi from the car. SHe is  well aware of my position. She hurries towards me and blocks my way. I give her a sarcastic stare.

Khushi: This cant be the right time. Let's get settled first. Please.

I move her aside and keep walking. She is furious on me, I can say that. But I am not like those people who can pretend or fake something just for others. I am all myself and when it comes to telling the truth and clearing out things, I am always first. She follows me inside. She is tensed. Not that I am happy ignoring a woman's pleads, neither I am enjoying her displeasure and uncomfortness of this entire situation. But she left me no choice. Somewhere my ego was hurt when she openly declared she can get better proposals and there was no specific reason for her to marry a Widower. This would be any common woman's thought. SHe was not totally wrong too. But if that is so, why to keep dragging something which can hurt us both in the near future. I know this truth can hurt our families for some time but its temporary. In few days both Gupta's and Raizada's will be out of it and move on. I always think of securing future, not just living the present.

When we reach the living room, I find Shashi Uncle being diagonised by a Doctor. He is their family Doctor Kumar whom I have met a few times too. Buaji is just beside Shashi Uncle and they both are surprised seeing us back. Khushi quickly rushes to her father.

Khushi: Paapa.. What happened? Why did you call Dr Kumar?
Shashi: You came back? I thought you will return by night.
Khushi: Thats not my answer Paapa. Tell me what has happened?
Arnav: Dr .. Is Uncle doing fine?  (I ask with a worry in my tone)
Dr: Ohh nothing to worry Arnav.  I had come for my regular check up only. He is just doing fine except his blood pressure. Shashi I suppose you are stressed. Anything specific to worry? You have got your daughter engaged to the best man in the society. I dont suppose you should be worried for anything else now.

I stiffen. Not because of Uncle's health but by the sudden praise Dr Kumar throws on me. Best man in the Society? Am I?

Shashi chuckles taking his daughter in arms.

Shashi: Kumar. You know how much tensed I was earlier. But since the time Khushi and Arnav got engaged, I have started re-living my life.
Buaji: Really ? Then why did your BP raise all of a sudden? ( she turned to Arnav and continued).. He had been for a morning walk with me and suddenly he started sweating abnormally. I got him home and made him rest but when that didnt help, I called the Dr. Shashi says he is not tensed anymore but I know he always keeps thinking about Khushi and her future. Until that is settled, he will never stop worrying about her.

I and Khushi give a short glance to each other. I dont know but tables suddenly turned. I was here to confess to Uncle that I am breaking off the engagement because I dont find Khushi interested in it. But now looking at his condition, I cannot give him more stress.

Shashi: Madhumati. Dont scare the kids. Arnav come here. ( he calls with with compassion )

I reach him and he pulls me for a hug too. He takes me and KHushi both for a hug . Our fingers brush with each others for few seconds on Shashi Uncle's back, we even stare blankly in each other's eyes thinking what should be next but never got any answers. He pulls us back and meets my eyes.

Shashi: I am an old man now Arnav. Like every father, I also wish to see my daughter as a bride before I die.
Arnav: Uncle please ( I interrupt strongly).. dont talk all this. You have a very long life.  You should eat well, sleep well and take medicines on time. Leave the rest on me.
Shashi ( chuckled again): I have already left everything on you. Even when you were not my would be Son in law, you still managed my business and assisted me growing it from past few months. But I am not worried about Business Arnav. Its just Khushi I am worried for.

Khushi: Paapa  I am not a kid now. I can handle myself.
Shashi: Yes you can. But I will be more happy seeing Arnav and his family taking care of you, seeing you mingling with that family and being a part of it. I know this is going to happen some day or other. But I just hope that day comes soon.

I stiffen again. These talks are making me feel cold and numb. Is this really going to happen? Khushi mingling with my family?

Shashi: Arnav, if you dont mind, can we fix the marriage date for next month ? Look, I know you both want some time to know each other. But one month should be fine. Let the marriage talks, preperations happen parallely. What do you say?

I have no reply. I am still very numb about this entire situation. It's like I came here for something and what happened is totally the opposite.

Khushi: Paapa we shall talk all that later. You rest for now. Come.
Buaji: I will take him upstairs. You get Arnav comfortable, I will send some refreshments for you both.

REFRESHMENTS?? What the hell! I am not even in the position to open my mouth, how can I eat and give rest to my stomach?

Arnav: No thanks Buaji. I should be getting home. Will come back tomorrow Uncle. You take care.
Shashi Uncle nods with a smile. I turn to leave and Buaji quickly gestures Khushi to see me off till the door. Khushi follows me. We reach the main door and both stop.

Khushi: Thanks for not letting him know now.
Arnav: We are already late. I hope we get this sorted before Uncle talks to my family about the marriage date.
Khushi sighs heavily. We both give each other a final stare and then I leave back to my Car. I need a break .. To think what needs to be done next.

_________________________________________________________________________________


Part 10

I loosen my tie in the hope of getting some air and wipe off that uneasiness I felt in my body due to lack of energy. That 2 days of holiday in the farm house had costed me spend some extra attention at work, making me busy in Office from morning till late evening. Not that I complain working. This is probably the only thing I can do my way. No pressures from my family side. I get up from the chair and walk at the Window to see outside. My Cabin had got a perfect view.. It was on the 11th floor and I could still see the panoramic view of the entire city. Whenever I saw those glittering lights on the streets I remembered the times when I used to take Sonia for a ride in my Car.. Before marriage ofcourse.. She used to draw the window panes down and put her head out, smiling at the Street lights, trying to catch the shadow of my car. That scene always brought a smile on my face. Her innocence had been the key feature in making Sonia what she was. People might not realise the beauty of such innocence. She was a 5 year old child even at an age of 22.
My Cabin door is been knocked and Aman enters in.

Aman: ASR.. Your car is ready.

I see the time and realise it's 08:00pm. I am more late than usual. I pick my laptop and walk out with Aman following me.

**************
When I reach home ,hoping to get some relaxation after a tiring day, looks like fate is not in a mood to support me. I find the Gupta's sitting inside and talking to my family. Their presence never bothered me until today when I know why they might be here. I reach Shashi Uncle and he gets up to give me a hug.

Arnav: How's your health now?
Shashi: By God's grace its fine. I heard you working till late these days.
I look at my Di who smiles at me knowing I have realised who gave this information to Shashi Uncle. He pats my shoulders.

Shashi: Very soon you will have to end this habit Son.
Arnav: You shouldn't have come all the way here Uncle. You still need rest. We would have come there to meet you.
Shashi: On such occasions the bride side people come to the groom side not vice versa.

I was not pretty sure what he wanted to tell me. My eyes glance at Khushi who is sitting next to Di and already very uncomfortable with what is happening. I clear my throat and manage to ask.

Arnav: What is that special occasion if I may ask??

Shashi chuckled at his son in laws innocent question and then announce proudly.

Shashi: Your Nani and I have decided yours and Khushi marriage date.

I get the second shock of my life. The first one was when I had been informed about Sonia's death. My di cleverly comes to me and pinches my cheeks.

Anjali: Haan Chotte .. Finally its time for you to clean shave. I am tired of these beard of yours ( she gigled)

I move her arm away from my cheek and give a one short glance at Khushi who finally managed to meet my eyes. I can read from her expression she was already aware of this discussion. But I fail to understand why she is not defending? Or has she given up her wishes before her dad's sickness? Nani makes Khushi stand up and hugs her. She even kisses her forehead and blesses her to come soon in this house as a bahu. I fist my fingers realising things are going out of hand. Each passing moment is only giving my family fake hopes. I have to stop this. I speak loud and clear the next instance.

Arnav: Khushi.. Mujhe tumse kuch baat karni hai.. ( Khushi I want to talk to you)

The way I speak, worries my family. Even Shashi Uncle feels uneasy. But I have no time to give them any false assurances that my talk with Khushi had nothing to do with this marriage date fixing.

Khushi looks confused at me. I walk ahead towards my room without even feeling the need to ask the family if I am allowed to speak separately to her or not. I walk a few steps and then stop. I turn behind only to find Khushi still looking unsure of her next actions. But the way I stare her, she doesn't give a second thought. She follows me and we move to the bedroom upstairs. Everyone else behind us stay quiet..

I stop at the poolside of my room and hear her footsteps right behind me. Placing my hands in pockets I take a deep breath turning around. She folds her arms and sees right in my eyes.

Khushi: Whatever you have to say please make it quick. Our family must be worried downstairs in suspense.
Arnav: ( surprised ): Why are we still doing this? Why didn't you stop your father from coming here and deciding the marriage date? I hope you remember what I told you Khushi. I don't want to keep your family or mine in any false hopes. That day I stopped myself from telling anything to your father because he wasn't well. But that doesn't mean I will let this matter slip from my hands.

I have so much to say today but this woman is calm.. She is just watching me with a clear expression on her face.. I am not sure what's got into her?

Arnav: Marriage is not a joke. Its a life time commitment which two people should give each other only when they are ready for it, not otherwise. You have no reason to marry a widower. (My voice becomes thin and feeble when I utter this. Not that I am worried of losing this woman or the golden opportunity to get happiness in my life again)

Khushi keeps looking at me and now her silence is worrying me for sure.

Khushi: May be I dont have a reason to marry a Widower but I prefer doing that to give my father a little happiness.

I feel frustrated. I dont like woman becoming weak and sacrificing for someone else.
Arnav: Khushi... I .. (I am been stopped from interrupting her sharing her point of view)
Khushi: I havnt finished yet Arnav..

I gulp down looking at her face while she continues..

Khushi: In these 3 days when Dad was ill, I have seen his worries.. I have felt the tensions he is undergoing. He doesnt stop from praising your ability to keep me happy. As I have already told you, there are many things I have done against his wishes earlier and he has already suffered a lot. In these 3 days I have seen the need in his eyes to see me believe in what decisions he has taken for me. Everyone around us, be it your family or mine, is so confident that this relationship will work, they want to see happy, the never stop from blessing us, keeping us together whenever and wherever possible. If we deny them at this instance, it will break their heart. I prefer to give this new bond between us a chance.

I am astound at ther thoughts.

Arnav: What if it doesnt work ? ( I make myself clear)

She is quiet. May be even she never thought about it.

Arnav: I might still survive if we break up later.. What about you as a woman? What will be the difference between you Then and me Now? I got a man like Shashi Uncle who willingly wants to give his daughter's hand in marriage to me but who is going to hold your hand if your first marriage doesnt work ?

I always talk straight to the point. I am used to this. It makes me feel stronger.. I dont want people to be in any kind of wrong impression or dreams.

Khushi sighes deeply.

Khushi: You are worrying too much. I heard Arnav Singh Raizada takes his life very positive. Why these negativism?
Arnav: Because I dont want to spoil your life. 
Khushi: You wont. Its my decision and if anything wrong happens, I know to take my responsibility.

I have never seen her so stronger ever before.. She was like an attituded brat before today.. SO much to herself .. Today the woman beside me had superceded that girl Khushi who was full of stubborness. I sigh deeply too and then prepare myself to leave the room.

Arnav: I hope only Shashi Uncle is getting treated, not you.. Looks like you have been intaking his medicine of wisdom too.

I didnt really mean to criticize her, hope she too doesnt take it wrongly. She smiles weakly.

Khushi: You mean I never had wisdom in me earlier? ( she questions back)

I am relaxed she took my comment positively.

Arnav: At least I never saw.. Until today.. ( I leave her my million dollar smirk for her to stare at for few seconds and then leave the door)

Today my heart feels lighter, in true aspect, its today that I am convinced the woman my family wants to bind me with isnt that wrong enough like I considered her from past few days. She follows me downstairs.

Our families are still worried and desperate to know what the matter was for which I took Khushi away from them. Their eyes are still at us..I know they want answers but I hit a question to them in return.

Arnav: So when is the marriage date?

I see a smile at everyone's lips as they hear me.. DI comes and feeds me a sugarfree ladoo immediately.

Anjali: 14th February.. Valentine's day. Isnt it cool Chotte?

I dont know if its COOL but I still smile acknowledging her that I have no reasons for not accepting that date. I move to Shashi Uncle who is also waiting for my reactions towards him. I lean down to take his blessings.  In return he hugs me.

Shashi: I was scared ..
Arnav ( pulling back from the hug): Why ?
Shashi: I thought  Khushi might .. she might do something foolish and ..

I stop him from speaking further.

Arnav: You have got a very sensible daughter Uncle.. Dont be worried for her. Just take ample of rest now and get fit to attend your daughter's marriage.

Shashi Uncle is highly convinced and he pulls me again for a tight hug.

*******************

After a while, the Gupta family asks permission to leave. Though my people are not willing to lose Khushi's presence they still are satisfied with the fact that she will be returning in this house very soon permanently. We all are at the door to bid them off. Khushi takes everyone's blessings and stops at me.. Others are busy talking to Uncle and Buaji. No one really bothered to see us.

Khushi: Uh.. I will call you sometime. If.. you arent that busy..  (she speaks with little hesitation)
Arnav: Save my number first.. ( I demand)

There is a small smile on her lips which fades off quickly.. May be she remembers the reason why she kept avoiding me and this relationship earlier..

Arnav: You okay?
She nods showing that she was alright.
Khushi: We should know each other's past before we..
Arnav: ( interrupts): Mine you know already.. Yours.. I dont give a damm even if it was worse.. Not a compulsion that you share it with me at this instance.. ( I clarify)
Khushi: Still!! ( she forces)
Arnav: Lets speak over the phone.  ( I suggest)

Does this woman realise I hadnt even freshen up since the time I came back from work? I needed a shower to relax and these people were delaying so much to leave back..

Khushi: Okay.. Bye..
Arnav: Hmm..

I never say a proper Bye most of the times to people.. Not that I have any personal grudge on this word.. Its just that I feel its way too formal.. She leaves with her father and Buaji and the moment they get in the car, I make my way to the Stairs to get in my room and relax..

_________________________________________________________________________________


Part 11

I am playing a Video game after a long time.. This is yet another pastime of mine especially when I am not in a mood to sleep early. I remember my early childhood days when betting with my friends over such video games was part of my daily life. I loved that time. No work pressure.. No family responsibility tensions.. A very peaceful life it was. Why do we grow up? Why cant we stay young forever? I know its stupid for someone like me to even have this thought but well.. I am just keeping it to myself.. Not sharing with anyone else to mock at me later..

I am still busy in playing the last round of this game when suddenly my phone rings.. I give a quick glance to my phone screen.. Its Khushi Gupta.. I knew she would call up.. Somehow my heart felt she had the need to tell her past which is why she will definitely call me up and share it.. Now that she wanted this marriage process to move ahead, she wants to clear things from her side too before we both step into it. I pause my game and lean  back on the bed answering the phone call.

Arnav: Hi.
Khushi: Hi.. (I could feel her breathe hard. It's not because of her hesitation this time. Its just that she is finding it hard to start the conversation )
Arnav: How's Uncle?
Khushi: He is fine and resting..I just came back from his room only.
Arnav: hmm..
Khushi: You weren't sleeping right? Did I disturb you ?
Arnav: No.. I was .. umm.. Playing Video game ( I didn't lie. )
Khushi: Video game? You still play that ??
Arnav: I never heard it has a age limit specified. ( I clarify)

She realises her question stands invalid and hence chooses to change the topic.

Khushi: I was curious to know about your first wife.. I mean.. How you both got married and all.. ( she gets a Pause from my end ).. Uhh.. If you dont want to talk about her I am okay..
Arnav: ( sighing deeply): We married because I wanted to marry her.. 
Khushi: But she was mentally ill... Then how?

She had a very obvious question which had raised in the minds of many other people I knew..

Arnav: So what if she was mentally ill? Aren't those people lovable? Shouldn't they be cared and given the same rights which a normal human being has?
Khushi: I didn't mean that.. I was just surprised how could someone so easily think of having a marriage with such a person. Every man has some expectations from the woman he marries..
Arnav : I am not a person who expects first and repent later. I take whatever it comes. But Sonia was someone who came in my life without  any expectation and someone who was snatched from me without any warning. ( a lump forms in my throat which I try to gulp)

I close  my eyes thinking of the day when I held Sonia's corpse tight, as I couldn't even recognize her face which was burnt due to fire. Tears fall down unknowingly leaving a big pang in my heart. There is a big silence between us and Khushi breaks it.

Khushi: I am sorry I shouldn't have asked you.. I should have realised it still hurts you when you remember her.

Arnav(opening eyes) : Some people and incidents can never get off your head and neither you wish to forget them. Sonia will always be a part of my life in all phases.. But Dont worry my past will never come in between us. It's just that the society we stay in has the habit to taunt. It's my second marriage not yours which is why they would get a chance to speak. Are you prepared for that?

Khushi : Paapa says I am good at ignoring unwanted people and talks.

Whenever she gives such replies I just try to feed myself that she is intelligent enough in responding the right thing at the right time. She knows what to speak and when, in short.

Khushi: I actually wanted to talk about me..

I lie down and close by eyes but ofcourse my ears are open for her voice.

Arnav: I am listening and let me repeat  again. Its not a compulsion that you have to share your past. I am okay not knowing it..
Khushi: No.. I have to share it.. ( she urges)
Arnav: Go ahead..

She waits for 2 seconds and probably thinks of sharing when suddenly I hear her Buaji's voice from the background..

Buaji: Arre Ohh Khushi.. Didn't you sleep yet? Good. See what I have got. Your head was aching, wasn't it? I have got warm oil to massage. Your ache will be gone soon..

Khushi: Buaji not now.. I am on a call..
Buaji: Whose call?? ( she sarcastically asks)
Khushi: Arnav..
Buaji: Are you speaking the truth? Is it really Arnav??

I am listening all of their conversation.. I am not sure why Buaji doubted whose call it was..

Khushi: I am not lieing Buaji. You can speak  to him and confirm.

She probably passed the phone towards her Buaji as Khushi's voice faded by now..

Buaji: Nahi nahi.. You speak to him while I will massage your head..

I could hear Buaji giggling as if teasing Khushi. I could hear Khushi denying Buaji from applying the oil but seems like Buaji didn't hear.

Khushi( finally continued the call): Arnav?? Uhh.. I will speak to you later..

Arnav: Okay..  Take a pain killer. It will ease your headache. Good night.

There is again a silence from her end as if she was lost in some thoughts..
Arnav: You there??
Khushi: Haann I am here.. Uhh.. Good night Arnav..
Arnav: Bye..

I disconnect the call first and close my eyes keeping my phone at the side table.. This is the first time me and Khushi talked over the phone for so long. Seems like she was uncomfortable to share her past in buaji's presence which is why she chose to tell me later.. I have no qualms'. She is most welcome to share it anytime. I take a deep yawn and then finally fall asleep.

****************

I see my sister enjoying her morning fruits like daily but today I realise she was having Papaya too. I immediately rush to the Dining table and stop her from picking the cut peice of Papaya in her fork. She is surprised..

Arnav: Di you cant eat Papaya.. Its not good for Pregnancy.

She smiles at me and then makes me sit next to her.

Anjali: A small portion is alright. And waah Chotte.. Since why did you start digging all this information about Pregnancy?
Arnav: A little more knowledge always helps ( I relax myself on the chair and pull a plate to get my Breakfast served)
Anjali: Today we are going to buy some Jewellery for Khushi. Mangalsutra and all. Will you join us?

I straightly deny.

Arnav: No.. Meetings are aligned back to back for today. I wont be free till late evening. Take Khushi, afterall she is the one who would wear it, not me.
Anjali: Ofcourse we are taking her Chotte. But I insist you join us. Please.. Re-Schedule one of your evening meet.
Arnav: I will try.  ( I gulp my Orange juice, pick a Sandwich and get up from the chair).. I will have this on way. Getting late.. Bye..

I hug Di and walk towards my Car.

*****************

Jewellery Store

I enter inside with the hope of finding my family around somewhere, buying the Jewelleries. Manorama Chachi comes to me and drags me inside.

Arnav: Chachi where is everyone?
Manorama: They are there ( she points at the Ethnic Jewellery section).. But hello hi bye bye Arnav Bitwa.. Your would be wife is still not here.
Arnav: Why? She was supposed to accompany you all .
Manorama: Yes but she is delayed somehow. I wonder why.. !!
Arnav: I will call her. You guys finish your selection meanwhile.

Manorama Chachi liked the initiative I was taking. SHe readily agreed and left to join the other family members. I took my Mobile and dial Khushi's number. It rings for few times and then I see her coming hurriedly inside the Store disconnecting the call. I disconnect it too. She rushes to me in that Yellow Green Anarkali dress, her hair slightly messed but still she looked perfectly adorable to face the outside world.

Khushi: Sorry.. I was stuck in the traffic and my phone battery was going down too.

I dont speak but allow her to take a breathe and relax herself.

Khushi: Where are others?
Arnav: Ethnic section.. (I point out in the direction)
She sees the family and then concentrates back on me.
Khushi: Can we talk before I reach them?
Arnav: About?
Khushi: Our Incomplete conversation of last night?
Arnav: Now? Its not the right time Khushi. Lets finish this and then we shall talk.
Khushi: What if after you know my past, you dont wish to take this relationship forward? (she asked with a lot of courage meeting my eyes )
Arnav: It wont be that worst, I hope!!
Khushi: But..
Arnav: (interrupted): Shopping all this and sharing your past are two different things Khushi. Believe me I will be fine.. Lets not make the family wait for you any longer.

She sighs in disappointment and walks a step ahead towards my family but then may be she realises something and hence she turns back to see me.

Khushi: You are quite dominating Arnav..  (She doesnt seem happy about this trait of mine )
Arnav: Its hard to change me.. ( I answer her what I feel the truth is. .No one can change what I am.. )

She nods sarcastically and leaves to my family. I smirk.. Somehow I feel she got annoyed and I was enjoying that.. She had shown me enough ignorance and annoyance earlier to this.. It was my time now.. I follow her.

******************

We came out of the Shopping Complex after buying the required jewelleries. The bags are loaded in Di's car from which they came here. I have got my own car parked aside.

Anjali: Khushi where's your car?
Khushi: DI I will have to call up home and arrange the car.
Anjali: I thought you drive.
Khushi face paled again which I notice very carefully.
Khushi: I used to..  (she doesnt mind detailing the truth..)

There seems to be a vast gap between her past doings and her present.. For sure her past was not good enough and it still clashed with her present at times, that was my observation.

Arnav: Di I will drop Khushi home. ( I again take this initiative which my family gets impressed with)
Manorama:  Arnav bitwa has finally learned his new responsibilities . We dont have to push him anymore .. Hai Naa Anjali? ( she teases me)

Me and Khushi glance at each other and then I gesture her to walk with me to my car. She bids Bye to my family and we proceed. I drive the car slowly, I know she doesnt like speed. She herself had told me that in our last drive. She keeps staring at me as if waiting for me to ask if she can start.. I dont want to keep her waiting for long either. I park the car at the side of the road. Its not a busy road and we are not blocking the way of other vehicles either. I power off the Engine and look at her.

Arnav: Toh kaho.. Kya kehna chahti ho ? (So tell me.. What do you want to tell?)

She fiddles with her phone and then finally gulps down meeting my eyes.

Khushi: I loved someone.. ( she takes a pause to see if I was disturbed and then when continues).. It was more of a One sided love and the biggest mistake of my life..!!

I had kind of expected this type of past from her.

Arnav: Its quite common these days to have a relationship which mostly doesnt work in its tender days.. Its okay..

She is surprised that I didnt react the other way.. If she thinks I would want to stay away from a woman who was in affair or something before then she was wrong.. I am not biased.. If a man can have relationships and still accept some other woman in his life.,why cant a woman be accepted with this same fact too?

_________________________________________________________________________________

Part 12

Khushi looks at me while I was listening to her attentively as a gesture asking her to proceed.

Khushi :The biggest mistake wasn’t falling for him but what I got into for loving him.

I understand she is trying to give me something more intense but I keep my nonchalance intact. I should not interfere this flow which might give her a wrong impression on my thoughts. I nod as a way to proceed further.

Khushi (gulping and closing her eyes) : Nikhil , his name is Nikhil Khanna, He was the charmer of our college, Our college Union president and a big shot. He used to be an all rounder in sports, music and academics, Literally all girls fell for him.

I am slowly transported to my college days. Even I was the charmer of my college but those days were really hectic when I had to manage my dad’s office work and my studies together. Hardly I had time to enjoy my college days though I don’t regret it.

Khushi : The day I joined college I had an encounter with ragging. Nikhil was the one who saved me from getting humiliated. I got a very good impression of him after that. We became friends. Though he was my senior he used to help me in my assignments and studies. He understood I had a liking for dance and he chose me as the partner for all his stage dance in culturals. And it slowly bloomed into love. We were called a couple by our friends that made me proud. We used to roam around. I didn’t bother about family and status. I was falling for him deep.

She stops as tears roll down her cheeks. I scrunch my fist thinking if anything worse had happened to her.I control my urge to shout at her for being so stupid but I understand her helplessness. I pacify her.

Arnav : Relax. This is why I told you not to explain.
Khushi lifts her head with desperation
Khushi : No Arnav. You need to know this. Its important for both of us please.
Arnav:  Ok you stop crying first.

She wipes her tears hurriedly and continued.

Khushi : Our second year culturals were nearing and as usual I was asked to dance with him as we always won the competition. We had rehearsed perfectly but before going to the stage I was feeling nervous and tired. I told him I can’t but he pursued me to try and gave me an energy bar that would make me energized. I hesitated it at first but after two three hours I was feeling hazy but  I don’t know how I danced. Apparently we won the competition which was a shock to me when I heard it the next day.

Now I am feeling nervous. What is she implying? Is it some sort of drugs?

Khushi : I asked Nikhil about it. He told me they were energy boosters .. Some kind of drug supplements. I hesitated at first but he made me acquainted with it slowly. I was getting the kick of those drugs. He assured me they were safe. It was like bliss for me when Nikhil and I were enjoying our dances and college life.

Drugs!!!  Shit! Anger is bubbling inside me. I don’t show it. Calm down Arnav Calm Calm.. That’s my mantra now. Khushi looks at me but she continues after looking down.

Khushi : One day Paapa found out my affair with him. He sat with me one full day and explained how he checked Nikhil’s background. He wasn’t a good guy and I might get into trouble with him.He told me if he was a good guy, he would have readily accepted this relationship.

Doesn’t surprise me as Sashi uncle is matured and knows how to deal with crazy people. Very generous of him for being so cool. I am not sure if I would behave the same if my daughter does that because I am way too possessive. Well why am I thinking about my daughter now?

Khushi: I was going crazy with all these pressures at home from dad. I spoke to Nikhil. He calmed me down and helped me with drugs. That cooled my senses temporarily. I came to know from dad that he was trying for an admission in London for me. I couldn’t accept it. If I allow this anymore I would be surely distanced from Nikhil. So I ran away from my home to Nikhil’s farm house with the hope of getting settled with him somewhere. I was so selfish to think just about me. But my whole world collapsed when I saw Nikhil with a some other girl there.. I shouted, screamed, fought and hit him for cheating me. So clichéd as it sounded I was like a normal girl who didn’t have the mentality to think past my love. But all came to an end when he laughed at me saying I was behaving like a nagging silly lover girl like in movies.

I sigh in disappointment. Shocked would be a mere understatement of the events this girl has faced. I understand her worry but I am hell angry at her childish behavior. I remember Sashi uncle saying how he had pampered her from her mother’s death. I too understand that vacuum. But this is appalling for a girl of her age she should have been more matured than she behaved.

Khushi : But before I stormed out of that house, I kicked him twice.That was the least I could do for destroying my life. I decided that he is out of my life forever.

I could see a satisfaction on her face when she said that. Good. Out of all she said all this while I loved how she acted here. That bastard need to be killed not just kicked for playing with the life of girls. I crunch my fists in anger.

Khushi: I couldn’t return back. I felt humiliated angry and to the extent of committing suicide.

My knuckles crack in anger at the word suicide making a big sound startling her.

Khushi (continuing): By the time I came out of the farm house my dad’s people found me and took me to my home. My dad slapped me as soon as he saw.

Too late reaction from your Dad though! He shouldnt have pampered her so much in the young days. Love affair is fine.. But Drugs? How could she get into it so easily for a guy?

Khushi: Paapa was furious at me. I apologized and told him that Nikhil had cheated me. He hugged me and made sure that I am not alone. From that day onwards I was more like a cage bird but my nerves weren’t adhering to me. I started shivering feeling an urge to have drugs, I rushed to the hospital pretending to have severe stomach ache. They gave me sedatives to cool my nervous system and advised my father that I should be admitted there due to some food poison. I had requested them not to reveal it to dad. I cant give another heart break to him. They advised me to join a rehab as soon as possible as my nervous system had consumed some drugs which will really affect my body.For the past one year I have been visiting rehab secretly and getting treatment sometimes in the name of dance classes, cooking classes and so on. I do yoga and meditation at home shutting inside my room. My father always felt I am a mystery but I am hiding this biggest mistake of my life as I cant see him breaking down again because of me. He still feels I am meeting Nikhil secretly and hence keeps a tab on me every now and then.But my contacts are with the doctor who provides me timely medicines and instructions to ease my system and completely drive the drugs out of my body. 

She cries hard in her hands. I sigh feigning my frustration. But her uncontrollable tears make me vulnerable. I touch her head to calm her down that shocks her. Our silence pervades for some more time till she regain her composure. I offer a tissue to make her calm, I heave a huge sigh pushing my head backward closing my eyes. Life is not rosy as it sounds for everyone.

The sudden ring from her mobile makes me open my eyes. Khushi cancelled her call from the house and looked at me hoping for a reaction.

Khushi : That’s my dad checking where I am ?
I straightened myself and looked into her eyes.
Arnav: Hmm.. So that was your past? And you were worried that I would reject you after hearing all these?
Khushi blinks her eyes and lowers it again.

Khushi : I didn’t want a person like me to get married to you even if you had married before. Take it as my selfishness, I wanted to stay alone in my life as a punishment for all the deeds I did.I cant take up any relationship. I purposely wanted to break this marriage that’s why I taunted you by pointing your widower status.

Hmm… this girl is not so silly as I thought!

Arnav : Its not your SELFISHNESS Khushi.. Its your SELFLESSNESS that you were planning to stay alone forever.

She feels praised but then her guilt within doesnt let her to enjoy my praises for long.

Arnav: Must say Khushi, the rehab treatment has invoked your non existing maturity too.

I smirk as I see her mouth open like a “O” on how I could joke on this. She is about to say something in return when her phone buzzes again. This time I dont allow her cut the call.

Arnav: Pass me your phone.

She doesnt deny though she has no idea what I intend to do. I answer the call which was from her father.

Arnav: Uncle Khushi is with me. I will drop her in sometime. Hope thats fine.
Shashi:Ohh Arnav.? If Khushi is with you, I have no problem. I was just worried why she didnt return from the shopping yet. Sorry for disturbing you both. Bye..
Arnav: Bye..

I disconnect the call passing the phone back to Khushi.

Khushi: This is never going to change.. Paapa will always be insecured.  ( she sobbed again)
Arnav: Thats because he loves you too much. And dont worry.. I know such fathers .. They stop worrying to this extent once they hand over their daughter's responsibilty to her husband.

My statement made her feel better but then it even raised few more concerns in her mind.

Khushi: Think again Arnav.. You can get better life partners than me.. My Past isnt that good to be accepted.

I sigh again in disappointment. This woman needs a lot of assurances.

Arnav: Firstly Khushi.. I am not doing any favour by accepting you with your past, so remove that thought from your mind. Lets just clear one thing. This guy Nikhil.. You are completely out of him now?

I see some rage in her expressions.

Arnav: I am just confirming.. It necessary.
Khushi: Yes I am out of him and his memories now. I cant even stand him if he comes before me someday.
Arnav: Good. And the rehab, dont worry on the future sessions, you have my support. If you need me to talk to your father for an excuse to attend those sessions, I will.

Khushi looks at me with a hope of being in the right man's company..

This is enough for me to get our marriage proceed.

Arnav: Now before your father calls again, let me drop you back home.

She nods and sits straight, wiping off the tears from her  eyes as I start the Car engine again. PHEW!! We have managed to sort some things between us before we start our relationship. Now what remains is my part with Sonia which she might need to learn from me soon.

_________________________________________________________________________________


Part 13

I drop Khushi back home and return to Raizada Mansion quietly. There is a lot going on in my head right now. Everything Khushi confessed to me about her past is just so messy. I realise she was innocent earlier and Nikhil took advantage of her innocency that time. I feel pity for such people who love someone so blindly that they even dont realise how much deep they are drowning..  I think Khushi needs some care now.. She is always been spied by her own family due to her past affair. She is undergoing so much and doesnt want to hurt her father which is why she cannot even let him know the truth of the Drugs matter. This woman is far better than I thought her to be. She has a sense of judging people now. Her earlier actions of ignoring me and this marriage proposal is quite understandable. I am not a person who takes initiative in cheering up a person. But I want to ensure Khushi sits back and let her problems get shared with me. We are going to be partners. This is the first thing we should be doing henceforth, shouldnt we?

I hear my door knock. Its Jeejaji and I am little tensed seeing him in my room at this hour..

Shyam: Did I disturb you?  ( he asked softly)
Arnav: Never.. Get in.. All okay?

Jeejaji comes and sits next to me on the Recliner.

Shyam: Yes. Its been long since we have sat together like this and talked. I was busy in my work so couldnt much concentrate on your marriage progress..

I place my hand on his shoulder.

Arnav: You dont have to be that formal Jeejaji.. Dont I understand your workload? What happened with that Singhal's case?
Shyam: Its going great. Soon they will get their land back.
Arnav: I knew it. ( I smile feeling proud on him)

We are quiet for few seconds . I notice fro, his expressions that he has been pressing a lot in his mind which he wants to speak but is unable to do so. .

Arnav: Jeejaji ek baat poochu? ( Jeejaji can I ask you something? )
He nods affirmatively.
Arnav: Are you happy that I am getting married again?
He looks in my eyes as if this is what he always wanted to talk about but didnt get the courage to do so..
Shyam: why are you asking me that?
Arnav: Because its important.. We are a family and I think everyone in this house is excited about this marriage thing except you..  What is it ? We have always been so open to share our thoughts with each other. But now an unknown gap is being built between us since the time I am engaged to Khushi..

Shyam finally opens up his thoughts before Arnav.

Shyam: It's hard to see anyone else in Sonia's place in this house.. I am not saying that I dont want you to marry again... Khushi is a nice girl and she will definately give you all that which Sonia couldnt.. ( I gulp down hearing that as he continues.. ).. Sonia , however she was, fit  for being a wife or not, but she was still my sister.. Her memories are still fresh in my heart and the wounds of her death still hurts me.. Arnav.. Sometimes I feel I did a grave mistake by approving your thought of getting married to Sonia.. I should have stopped you that time. I became selfish.. I knew the mental condition of my sister and even then I approved you marrying her. I feel sorry for sacrificing the precious years of your life.

I immediately press his hand not allowing him to speak further.

Arnav: Marrying Sonia was purely my decision and I didnt sacrifice anything.. Didnt I know her medical condition? I did.. But even then I wished to make her a part of my life because I felt connected to her. I had a hope she can be treated.. I wanted to spend a normal life with her till death seperates us.. Sonia wasnt a burden for me Jeejaji. She was and she always will be an integral part of my life. And coming to KHushi... She is never going to take place of Sonia.. She will make her own in this family. Initially I too was very skeptical about this second marriage but now I think its the best decision we can take for the family. I might be ready to spend my entire life as a Widower, being single and minding my own life.. But our loved ones here in this house want me to move on.. It shouldnt be that hard to accept that challenge.

Shyam perfectly agreed to what Arnav explained him today. He patted his cheek twice.

Shyam: You have really grown a lot more matured and sensible these days.. Initially I used to advise you and now its the opposite..
Arnav: Did it make you feel better?
Shyam: Indeed.. I am feeling lighter now.. May be going forward I will not have that guilt in my heart..

I smile.. At least I could make Jeejaji feel good.

Shyam: I saw all those jewellery you shopped today for Khushi with the family.. Its cool.


I didn't actually comment anything on that. Wasn't my cup of tea to be honest. I am not very good when it comes to selection of a woman's apparel and jewellery. I just nod my head accepting the compliment. Jeejaji leaves my room wishing me a good night and I shift on my bed to end the day. A lot happened today which had kept my mind busy and working fast to understand Khushi's Point of view of our future marriage. My life was once again going to take a major change.  The last change being Sonia's sudden death. I hoped this time my family gets the best of my marriage unlike before. I close my eyes and drift to sleep.

**************

Gupta house

I wasn't really expecting myself to be here early morning. It was just that Shashi Uncle invited me for a breakfast with them and I couldn't deny him. To be more honest I was also tired eating the same breakfast of Raizada house everyday. I am very foody and like to taste varieties in my appetite. I am still very formal in my behaviour with Uncle and Buaji. I might ease up as time progresses. I am sitting opposite to Shashi Uncle and hearing his talks. He seems relaxed as the marriage talks are progressing finally.

Buaji comes out from the kitchen smiling at me..
Buaji: Arnav bitwa.. Breakfast will be ready in 20 minutes. I hope you are not very hungry at the moment or else I will cut serve the fruits till its ready.
Arnav: No thanks Buaji.. I am fine.

I am wondering where Khushi is. Its been 45 minutes that I have reached here but I didn't see her at all..I scan the living room just in a hope of knowing where she is. Not that I am desperate to see her. I worry that she hasn't lost herself in thinking if I am doing some kind of favour by accepting the marriage proposal.. Looks like Buaji reads my expressions and realises whom I am looking for..

Buaji: She is in the kitchen. Why dont you go and wish her a good morning?? She will like it too.

I see Buaji blushing. Even Shashi uncle asks me to meet Khushi in the kitchen once and give her my preferences for the breakfast. Isn't it too late for telling her my choice ? Well.. I dont argue, I need a break too from these elderly people. So I choose to accept the offer and leave for the kitchen.

I stop at the kitchen door to capture the scene inside. Khushi Gupta is in her pale blue night dress wearing a white apron over it, standing before the kitchen slab baking the pan cakes. Her hair keeps messing with her face and she is very pissed off with them already. I move towards her and before she could roughly push her hair behind, I take the initiative to tuck her hair behind her ear. Its a very sensitive moment for both of us. Neither she expected me to be here nor I realised how easily I did this gesture for her without taking her permission. Hope she doesn't think I am utilising my right too soon on her. She smiles inwardly but not by any force at me.

Khushi: Uhh.. What are u doing here?? Kuch kuch chahiye tha? ( you wanted anything?)

She asks with much surprise. I see a swelling below her eyes which occurs usually when a person wakes up too early and doesn't get sufficient sleep.

Arnav: Didn't you get good sleep last night?
Khushi becomes surprised again that I understood it so easily .
Khushi: ( sighed): Buaji's surprise breakfast idea made me wake up early than usual.

I feel sorry to hear that from her.

Arnav: I should have denied.
Khushi: No ..please dont be sorry. I finally have got a chance to try my cooking skills on someone. ( she teased )
I start getting a bit comfortable with her now.
Arnav: So I am the tester today??

She laughed heartily and I keep observing her. Its not something I do easily. I mean admiring a woman like this.. But I cant help. Since I have started knowing her better, I cant resist from understanding the various layers of Khushi Gupta.. Buaji and Shashi Uncle hear her laughs and reach the kitchen. I am aware they are watching us hiding behind that pillar before the kitchen door. They are happy to see their daughter and I mingling finally. Its good that they are seeing this. At least they will stop spying on Khushi henceforth. Khushi realises she is the only one laughing whereas I am seriously watching her. She stops and keeps baking the pancakes again.

**************

The pancakes are really delicious. I have already eaten 4 and Khushi serves me another one.

Arnav: Khushi I am done. 
Khushi: You didn't like it??
Arnav: I never said that..
Khushi: Then one more won't harm..
 
She starts eating her fruits and cereals after serving me. Buaji chuckles.

Buaji: Khushi.. You are going the right way now.. A wife should always feed her husband this way or else he will never keep a tab on his health..

Khushi smiles and so do I.. Her phone rings and I see its from the Gynac whom she had visited the other day when I had been to collect my Di's pregnancy reports.. Khushi stiffens.. She hadn't expected this call at this hour probably. I gesture her to answer the call but she ignores it and quickly texts the Dr that she would call back in few minutes. I realise she doesn't want to attend the call before her family. I don't see a reason for her to do that.. I keep eating quietly and so does she..

We finish the breakfast and the maids clean the plates from the table. I wipe my face with the towel and head towards the living room with Shashi uncle and Khushi..

Arnav: I will take your leave uncle.. Have to reach office. Thanks for  inviting me for the breakfast..I liked it..
Shashi: I am glad you liked what my daughter made for you.. ( he took Khushi in his embrace from the side)

It's good to see the father - daughter bonding.

Shashi : Khushi go and drop Arnav till his car..
Khushi: Jee..

We both walk to the door. I am curious to remind her for calling the Gynac. But will that sound good? She shouldn't think I am involving too much. But its not my fault. I feel responsible for her future now. I realise she is my responsibility and hence want her to be on a safer side always.

Arnav: Dont forget to call the Gynac.
She is little embarrassed but then she takes it on a good note.
Khushi: She probably wants to guide me on my reports. I had been for a check up to her just to ensure the drugs haven't caused a side effect in my body in other terms..
Arnav: Hmmm. If you need to pay her a visit again, dont delay. Such things should always be your priority now..

She knows I am right and hence smiles with her heart.

Khushi: Ek baat kahu Arnav.. You are totally a husband material. Seriously.. A Women wants her husband to care about her and I see that already in you..

I smirk because its my first praise from her. I don't comment on that. Sometimes its good to accept things without any need of providing your inputs over it.

Arnav: Dont hesitate to call me if needed. I will make myself available.

She blinks her eyes as if acknowledging my concern. I get in my car and looking at her few more seconds I then drive out.. I feel my life has started to get interesting again.. I am no more dull and cold like I used to be in these past 2 years..

_________________________________________________________________________________


Part 14

I start arranging my things in closet, making some place for Khushi's belongings too which would soon be a part of my room in a few days. I am not doing this for the first time. I have done it for Sonia too earlier. But that time it was different. I still remember how much excited Sonia was to know she was going to stay in this house henceforth. It was like a small kid was going to get a huge place to play around the whole day. She would spend hours in this house just finding the hide out places here giving me and Di a very tough time finding her. I pick the Teddy bear from the lower rack in my hand admiring it for a long time. I am lost. Suddenly I hear someone asking me.

"Does it belong to her?"

I quickly turn around with the bear realising it was none other than Khushi. She is standing almost few steps inside the door and watching me with a pained expression on her face. May be she can read exactly what I am going through. I nod in response as my words are still stuck into my throat. She smiles weakly and walks to me again.

Khushi: I have gone through this too. I was totally mad, saving all his gifts safely and watching them again and again locking my room ,even after I knew he was gone from my life. Later when it started hurting me all the more, and I couldnt control it, I kept those memories away from my eyes. It's better now.

I know what she wants to explain me. Our feelings match somewhere.

Khushi: But Mine were bad memories unlike you. Sonia was and will be an integral part of your life, I know. I am not asking you to get rid of her things so easily. It will take a lot of time.

Arnav: ( gulping his emotions): Everyone here says 2 years are more than enough to move on.
Khushi ( smiled sarcastically): I dont think so. It might take a lifetime too Arnav.

Her words give me strength.

Khushi: May I? ( She wants to take the Teddy bear from me. I dont deny )

She holds the bear in her hands and smiles pinching its nose and hugging it tight. I feel like she is embracing my past and accepting it to be a part of our lives, just like I did in her case . I like her gesture. I quickly make up my mood.

Arnav: What brings you here early morning?
Khushi: Uhh.. yea.. Well.. Today Di has called the Designers here so that we can finalise my Wedding Lehnga..
Arnav: Good I am not being a part of it then. I cant see my Living room in a mess with all those fancy clothes lying on the Couch and table. ( I mock)
Khushi ( chuckles): Excuse me.. Dont be under that impression Mr. Your Sherwani has to be finalised too. If I am the bride, you are the groom.
Arnav: No. no... No... Who said I am wearing a Sherwani for our wedding?
Khushi: Di.. said ( she replied in a surprising tone trying to understand why Arnav asked something like that )
Arnav: Dont believe her. She just wants me to see in clothes she likes. I am not wearing any of those.
Khushi ( sighed): Alright. So am I going to see you in your Tuxedo sitting next to me before the holy fire? Wont that be very uncomfortable Arnav?

I realise what she is hinting at. Wearing a Suit and performing all those rituals wont be easy.

Arnav: Okay. dont taunt. I will see what best I can wear. Now.. MAY I ? ( I ask her to return the Teddy again so that I can keep it back in the closet)

She hands me the toy and then waits until I put it inside and  shut the cupboard.

Arnav: What happened with your Gynac call? Did you talk to her ? She was calling frequently the other day.
Khushi: Yea.. I tried calling her again the next day but seems she has now gone for a vacation with her family. My reports are in her clinic, and I dont want to visit there until she comes back.

I dont see a major concern with that. Anjali Di knocks my room and comes in.

Anjali: Accha.. So here you are. I should have guessed it. I was simply looking you in Nani's room.

Khushi smiles looking down and I feel this is what a "BLUSH" would look like. First time ever I am seeing Khushi blushing. She looks cute.

Anjali: Chotte can I take your Fiancee away for sometime? ( she teases)
Arnav: (smirking): Sure.. ALL YOURS!! ( I maintain that smirk on my face ensuring Di doesnt feel I am blushing too)

Anjali gigled at that response and dragged khushi along with her. Typical LADIES!!

*****************

The Designers are from AR fashion house and Di has ensured every best Wedding attire designs are here at my home today. She is so excited. The same excitement I saw in her eyes during my first marriage, infact, our first marriage. I look at the watch. I have a meeting at 01:00 pm. Looking at the pace my family is making selection, doesnt look like  I will be able to attend it. I should just let Aman know. At least he can postpone. I get up from there.

Nani: Chotte? Where you going?
Arnav: Making a call Nani.. I will be back.

She relaxes. I steal a glance of Khushi who is equally excited for the shopping and then I make my way to the lobby upstairs to call Aman.
Anjali: This one is pretty. Hai naa Khushi?


Khushi looks at the Greenish Pink Lehnga which Anjali has picked for her.

Anjali: ( to the designers): Uhh. Lets do a trial of this one and then.. .uhh.. ( she picks another one).. this one too.
Designer : Sure Maam..
Anjali: Khushi.. You okay with the Trial?
Khushi: Yea..
Anjali: Great..

The designers and Khushi leave towards the Guest room to make Khushi wear the Lehnga. Anjali and others meanwhile check the other sarees.
Lavanya
see's Arnav getting down again. She and Akash whisper something to each other planning something naughty.

Akash: Bhai.. Your Sherwani has been kept in the Guest room for TRial.
Arnav: What? Trial? I dont have time for that Akash.
Lavanya: It's a matter of few minutes.
Akash: Yea.. And you have postponed the meeting too. Shaadi hai Bhai.. Itna nahi karenge aap humaare liye? ( Its your wedding Bro.. Wont you do this much for us?)

Arnav sighed in frustration. He hated such mellow drama's. He walked towards the Guest room. The Designer came out of the room probably forgetting something and hurried to the Living room. Arnav misinterpreted this thinking that the Designer had been in the Guest room to keep his Sherwani for Trial.  He walked inside the room and locked the door murmuring.. The momemt he turned around, he was stunned to see Khushi in the Wedding Lehnga, clutching the Dupatta tight feeling nervous of his sudden presence. She hadnt expected him to be here, neither he knew she was in the same room too. A gust of wind blew on his face as he saw Khushi in the Wedding attire, looking utmost gorgeous and naive. The confusion on her face resembled that of a Bride who is equally shy and perplexed about what would come next to her. Unknowingly I step towards her, I dont know what draws me, looks like I have no control on my feet, neither my brains or heart. I feel like a Moth whose only intention is to live in the warmth of the flame and die beside it.  I see her expressions changing. I am close enough to see the sweat beads formed on her forehead even in this cold AC temperature. Today one thing is confirmed. Khushi is the first woman ever in my life whom I am so much deeply attracted to..I dont want to judge my attraction's sensitivity. I like it the way it is. I am kind of satisfied with the way things are progressing between us. Earlier I was unsure if I will ever be able to think of starting a married life with another woman, now, I know my reply. It wont be that hard enough.

She drops her phone from her hand which falls straight before my feet, between her and me. The sound breaks my stance. We both bend to pick that phone and in turn our heads collide, hurting our foreheads..

Khushi: Owww..

"Sorry"

We both together utter this. It's a very strange feeling of being caught admiring someone so openly. She picks the phone and we stood up again. SHe is unable to meet my eyes and so am I .

Khushi: What are you doing here?
Arnav: I should ask that. What are you doing here ?
Khushi steps back and then flaunts her Lehnga..

Khushi: Trial!!
Arnav: I can see that. But I am send here for the same.
Khushi: What? Who?

I then realise what might have happened.

Arnav: Damm!! Akash and Lavanya purposely did this. I .. I should have caught them..

I see her finally taking a breathe of relaxation. She knows I am not here intentionally.

Khushi: We are going to have a tough time ahead with your sibblings. They seem to be very naughty.
Arnav: Yea. they are. No one can beat them in that.

We both smile. I realise it's high time I should leave the room and give her some privacy .

Arnav: You.. uhh.. .continue.. I will go..

She smiles again at me. I try to capture her Bridal look once again in my eyes and then open the door. Akash and La are standing right outside, smiling at me.

Akash: How was the Trial bhai?

I know he is teasing me again. This time I have a better reply .

Arnav: Why dont you ask Khushi? She might explain you properly.

Though I dont see, I know Khushi's jaw must have dropped hearing my response. I walk away as Lavanya gigles and Akash stands there frozen.

******************

5 days later

After the Trial, I havent met Khushi, had been a lot busy in work. But that isnt my problem. I am just wondering why didnt Khushi call me? Neither she messaged, nor she visited home. Why? I feel something is majorly wrong with her. I dont waste another day in the hope of she receiving my calls. I pick my car keys after work and leave for Gupta house. There I come to know from Buaji that Khushi isnt eating properly either from past 2 days. According to Buaji it happens with every to be bride. Their appetite decreases. But I dont think it that way. It is something else. I walk to Khushi's room. Luckily the door is open and Khushi is sitting on the Window pane. She seems all lost. She has folded her knees. She might fall down outside the window if she misses her balance .I quickly rush to her and hold her before she misses her control. She is stunned. She is in my arms now and after I am assured she is back to her senses I put her down.

Khushi: Arnav?
Arnav: You would have fell down. It's dangerous. Never sit on the window pane again. Am I clear? ( I warn her seriously)

She stares at me for sometime as if trying to understand.

Arnav: What's wrong with you?
Khushi ( gulping): Wrong? Whats wrong? I am fine. .

She avoids meeting my eyes..

Arnav: Khushi come on .. You are avoiding me from past 2 days. You arent picking up my calls, neither answering my messages. What else did you expect me to do? And why are you looking so dull? Buaji said you havnt even eaten properly in the past 2 days. Why?

Khushi kept hiding her emotions. She just could not express the matter to him so easily.

Khushi: I am fine. It's just that I wasnt in a mood to talk to anyone. ( she randonly replied)

The moment Arnav heard it , he clutched her arm and turned her forcibly around to meet his eyes. He wasnt here to take such stupid and arrogant statements.

Arnav: I am NOT anyone.. I am your Fiancee. We are getting married in few days, remember? ( he stressed their current relationship which got some tears in her eyes)

Arnav knew she was going through a tough time. But why? He unknowingly cupped her cheeks, drawing her closer. None of them knew when they learnt to be so comfortable with each other.

Arnav: What's bothering you Khushi? You can tell me.

Her eyes filled with tears.. She wanted to speak.. To someone.. Who can understand her.. Who can give her some comfort.. Who can make her feel better. .SHould she just tell him? Does he need to know? Of course yes.. her lips parted as if she was trying to speak something to him..

Khushi: Arnav.. I ..

She stopped. She was judging how would he take this matter ?

Arnav: I .. WHat?
Khushi gulped down.. She took all her strength and pushed him a little away and herself turned around so that she doesnt meet his eyes.

Khushi: I cant marry you

She closed her eyes the very next moment after uttering this statement. Arnav froze.. Did she just say that?

_________________________________________________________________________________


Part 15

I am not someone who loses calm so easily. I always analyse both sides of the coin before taking my decision. But this time somehow I couldnt control my anger. I close the two steps between us and pull her to me. She opens her eyes and I very well read some confusion in them.

Arnav: You dont want to marry me? Why? What happened in just few hours that you changed your decision? What's going on Khushi?

She doesnt respond to me neither she struggles. I realise my hold on her is strong which might be hurting her too. But I am equally HURT dammit.

Arnav: I am fed up of your dramas. First few days you show disinterest in this proposal even after our enagagement. Then suddenly you tell me what the problem is and accept the forthcoming marriage. And when everything is happening as per our wishes, you suddenly dont want to marry ? What the hell is going on in that pea sized brain of yours? ( I angrily blurt)

She keeps looking in my eyes. She can feel how hurt I am.

Arnav: ( tightening my hold on her arm): I am not some soft toy of yours which you can play differently every day. Mine and   your family have some expectations from us. After getting them at this stage, wherein they have engrossed themselves in preparing for our wedding which is next week, you cannot break their hearts.

She knows what I am trying to explain her but she still denies to accept it. She shrugs my hold and moves away.

Khushi: I dont care what they all think. My decision is final. ( she doesnt meet my eyes and that hurts me all the more)

I swing her around in one go and pin her to the wall behind. Trust me.. I have never been so harsh on any woman.

Arnav: I wont let you do that..Not until I know the truth behind your change of decision.
Khushi gulps down. SHe doesnt want to reply but she knows I am not going to leave her so easily without getting a response.

Khushi: I.. I.. met him.. Nikhil..
She manages to say just this much and I already feel my anger rising.. So he is the reason behind her denial?
Arnav: So?  ( I ask in a coarse voice)
Khushi; Thats it.. ( she doesnt want to explain )
I grit my teeth.

Arnav: So.. All your feelings ignited once again for him?

She doesnt reply.. I again hold her firm making her shiver..

Arnav: Have you lost it Khushi? That man has betrayed you.. He got you addicted to drugs..

She doesnt speak a word still.

Arnav: Hadnt I asked you the other day if you still feel for him? Why did you lie to me then?

She is still quiet..

Arnav: SPEAK UP DAMMIT!! ( I roar and this time she blurts out too )
Khushi: I dont care how he is.. But I cant marry you.. Now just Get out..

I am so much pissed off by her behaviour and talks.. She has the audacity to ask me to GET OUT? How dare she? I punch my fist on the wall, just beside her head. The force is so hard that she shuts her eyes in fear of getting hurt by my fist.. I am not a man who raises his hand on woman. I have that much of respect for them no matter how bad they hurt me. I decide to leave.. I walk to the door with anger but stop there and turn around again.

Arnav: This time.. You let the families know your decision. I wont do this favour upon you..

I open the door, walk out and shut it hard making a loud noise. I dont care.. I have no patience to meet Shashi Uncle and talk about it. I am not in a mood.

*****************

I reach my home, my room, my den where I am all to myself. There is no one I want to meet, nor share my grief with.
I throw my phone on bed and sit on the Recliner thinking about mine and Khushi's conversation. I dont understand why I am so much hurt? I hadnt even married her or started any kind of attachment to her, but she still had created that level of possessiveness within me for her that I couldnt let this matter slip from my hands so easily. But do I have a choice? I cant force a woman to marry me.. And She still likes that same man whom she fell in love with earlier. I am no one to come between them. THis is what I hate the most in a relationship. The feeling of lonliness when the other cheats.

My door is knocked and DI comes in the room. Damm!! I forgot to lock it.. HOW? I compose myself as I dont want her to get worried .

Anjali: Chotte? When did you come home? Chalo good that you came. I wanted to go to the Dr for check up..
I get tensed
Arnav: Check up? What happened to you Di? Are you alright?
She smiles at me and pulls my cheeks.
Anjali: Bhool gaye? Your Di is pregnant.  THis is my regular check up. Nothing else. Will you accompany me? Shyam is not at home and I dont want to take Nani or Manorama Chachi. They are resting.
Arnav: Sure Di.. I will get the car. Come..

I try to forget all my worries and like a good brother take Di to the Dr. The same clinic where I had met Khushi once.

****************

CLinic

Dr: Anjali everything is normal. You have started those Iron tablets?
Anjali: Yes Dr. Chotte and Shyam are both taking care of my regular medication. ( she chuckles)

I smile but suddenly something catches my eye. I see an envelope with Khushi Gupta written on it. Is that Khushi's report? Hasnt she taken it yet? Why the hell am I thinking about all this? Did I forget she has denied to marry me? Something churns in my stomach. I feel there is some kind of link which I am not trying to analyse.. \

Anjali: Thank you Dr.. Chale CHotte?

I stand up and help Di to walk out of the Dr's cabin. I have purposely kept my mobile phone on the Dr's table as an excuse for me to get inside again without Di.

Arnav: Ohh Di.. I forgot the phone in.. You wait here will come back soon.

She agrees and takes a seat outside. I enter the cabin again.

Arnav: Dr is this Khushi Gupta's report? I mean Shashi Gupta's daughter ?
Dr: Yes.. You know her ?

I dont reply to that.

Arnav: Is she fine? ( I am still worried for her no matter how badly she treated me)
Dr: (little confused): Uhh.. Sorry Arnav but I am not supposed to share my patients info with anyone else other than the patient herself.
Arnav: I am her fiancee.. ( I had to say this to get her medical status.. I cant help)
The Dr is stunned..
Dr: Ohh.. Well. .I..
Arnav: Dr.. I dont know why she is behaving a bit odd since 2 days.. I suppose that has some connection with this report. What is it? Anything to worry about ?

The Dr sighs in disappointment ..

Dr: I can understand what she is been going through..But it is not that it wont happen.. Sometimes miracles do happen.
Arnav: I didnt get you Dr.. What are you talking about ?
Dr: Khushi was addicted to some kind of drugs in her college days..
Arnav: She told me that.. So?
Dr: So that has created a bad effect on her embryo.. She might never conceive a child.

I am SHOCKED. .What? I feel bad for her.. I.. I dont know how I feel hearing that.. Its like this is all happening to me and not Khushi..

Arnav: Are.. are you sure Dr ?
Dr: Sorry Arnav.. But this is a fact.. Her current reports shows that .. But I told you miracles are possible..

I gulp the lump formed in my throat. Now I realise why she denied the wedding all of a sudden.. She didnt meet Nikhil again.. It's this fact that she doesnt want me to be a part of her life. She doesnt want my life to get spoiled because of her medical issues.

Arnav: Can I take that report with me ?I will pass it on to her..
Dr: But..
Arnav: Dont worry.. I will take care of her questions.. If she calls you and asks, tell her the reports are with me..
Dr: (sighs): OKay..

I put the envelope in my suit pocket. I dont want Di to see that. I come out of that cabin and behave normal again though there is a lot going on in my head and heart right now..

*****************

Next day

Khushi was asleep. She didnt tell anyone about Cancelling the wedding yet.. She needed some courage and last night she made up her mind to talk to her father and Buaji about this today morning.. But the moment she woke up she saw Buaji inside her room coming to her.

Buaji: Khushi.. You are still sleeping? I thought so.. What is this? DO you know we have so many things to do today?
Khushi ( sitting ) Buaji where is Paapa?
Buaji: He is down..

"Morning", Arnav spoke standing at her bedroom door.

Khushi was shocked to see him there at this hour .. And obviously after what happened yesterday she hadnt expected him to be here anytime. She quickly wears the robe to cover herself.

Buaji: Arre Arnav Bitwa.. Come inside. I was just telling Khushi that you have come here and talking to Shashi downstairs.

Khushi's eyes rolled up. He was talking to her father? What? Did he tell about they cancelling the wedding?

Buaji: You both talk, I will send some tea upstairs. .

She leaves the room and I steps towards Khushi's bed. Her swollen eyes are the proof that she was crying before getting sleep. To be honest, the matter was worst, I knew any woman would lose her balance in this state. But I was here for help.

Arnav: Get freshen up, we have to go and select the Wedding card design today.

I try to act normal, as if the previous day we didnt meet nor had any bitter conversation. She looks astonished at me.

Khushi: Which cards you talking about ?  The Wedding Stands cancelled . .

I dont give it a ear. I walk to the closet of hers and open it. I havnt done this before. I hate touching other's personal things without their permission. But Khushi is not some stranger now. She is going to be my wife. I have a right on her things. She is shocked to see me picking one dress for her and keeping it on the bed.

Arnav: Go..!!
Khushi: Why are you doing this? Didnt we speak clearly yesterday Arnav? I cant marry you..

I dont know what pleasure I am getting in hiding from her that I am aware of her medical reports. I just dont want to tell her all this and upset her mood early morning. I am not avoiding our much needed talk. I know its important that I clear to her what I feel about her medical condition, but this is not that right time.

Arnav:  ( looking at my watch): Khushi I dont have much time. I have to be at work by 11:00. So we just have 2 hours to make the cards selection. Please make it fast. I will wait downstairs for you.

I try to walk past her so that I can leave the room but she holds my hand.

Khushi: Should I write it on a piece of paper now that I am not marrying you? Will you believe after that?

I make her leave my hand, my eyes still looking in hers and my tone becomes harsh suddenly.

Arnav: Do all that later.. First get ready and come down. I wont repeat that again.

She is speechless,  I can read that from her face. She is trying to understand why I am doing all this. She will get her thoughts clear by today evening. I leave the room. I know she will abide by my orders. Somehow I have started knowing Khushi that much at least.

******************

Khushi keeps asking me the same again and again in the car as I drive her to Store where the Wedding Card Designs need to be selected. The families have given this entire responsibility on us. They want us to choose it based on our likes. This is the least I can do to share their load in my wedding.

I park the car but she is unwilling to get down. Not until I answer her why I am not cancelling the wedding even after listening so much from her. I give up. This woman wont wait to clear her doubts. I dont beat around the bush either. I remove the MEdical report envelope from my pocket and hand it ot her. The moment she sees it, her eyes becomes moist.

Arnav: So this is why you cancelling our wedding?

She presses the report to her heart and looks down. She is unable to meet my eyes. I pull her chin up, tears rolls down her eyes speedily.

Arnav: I know this reason is enough for any man to cancel his wedding. But I am not among those. More than having a child to take my generations forward, I want a life partner who supports me till my last breathe.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Part 16

Arnav: I know this reason is enough for any man to cancel his wedding. But I am not among those. More than having a child to take my generations forward, I want a life partner who supports me till my last breathe.

THis one statement from me dries her tears off. She meets my eyes with surprise as if she never expected me to say this. Or may be she was questioning herself if I really mean what I said. I could see a glimpse of hope that was getting developed in her expressions and the next moment she embraced me. I.. I was dazed by her actions. My arms werent really giving her that comfort. I was in a dilemma if I should complete that hug or not.  She was looking for some moral support but will she feel better if I just hug her back? My thoughts sounded illogical to me. This woman was going to be my Bride and I was still questioning myself if I can wrap my arms around her to make her stop weeping? Damm!! I am behaving sluggish. Before I could react much Khushi herself realises where she was. She pulls back herself and sits properly again on her seat wiping her tears gently. She doesnt meet my eyes again. She is embarrassed. I try to clear the air between us to end this ackward moment.

Arnav: We will figure things out as it goes. Okay?

My assurance gives her more strength but she is still thinking of something else.

Khushi: We should let your family know.
Arnav: No. Not now. When the right time comes I will talk to them.
Khushi: Right time? We just have few days for the wedding Arnav. When will the right time come if not now?
Arnav: Let's get married first

My statement shocks her.

Khushi: You mean we should hide it from them ? I dont think it's good. They are your family. If I remember, you had told me initially when we met that you dont like hiding things from them. Then why now?
Arnav: Because "THIS" decision has nothing to do with them. Marrying a woman who might not conceive should be my choice, not theirs.
Khushi: You dont think a Heir is important, but they do. They have some expectations out of our marriage.
Arnav: We will fulfil all of those. But if we cant manage in giving them our child, I dont think they should be making a big scene of it. And I know my family, they are not so conservative.
Khushi: Arnav.. This time you are wrong. They have already missed a lot from your first marriage. So obviously they would want your second wedding life to be perfect which cant be guaranteed with me.  ( she was getting emotional again)

Arnav sighed in frustration now .

Arnav:  What if we had got to know this after our wedding had happened? What would you do then? Leave me?

She became quiet.

Arnav: Marriage is just a formality Khushi.  For me.. I already consider you as my wife.

MAN!! This guy will get her faint someday by his thoughts.. THere was a small blush on her face when he said that. Their eyes still locked into each others. A gust of wind blew on their faces which still couldnt disturb their gaze. Something was brewing between this pair already which felt so right and pure.  The sound of a Car horn, passing by, broke their stance. Once again there was a moment of ackwardness between them which he took an initiative to clear.

Arnav: Are we done with this now?
Khushi: I was right.. You are too dominating Mr Arnav Singh Raizada.. ( she claimed with pride)
Arnav smirked at her and started the car engine again.
Arnav: Not very good for you, aint I?
Khushi chuckled. She liked his restrained sense of humour ..

They reached the Wedding card Store and started selecting the cards. Khushi got excited seeing the varities. She really never knew there can be so many choices for a mere Wedding card.

Khushi: Is this good? ( she showed him one card)
Arnav: Yea.. But this looks better.. ( he showed another one )
Khushi: Read the wordings.. Doesnt suit us.. It is more for a Love marriage couple.. We arent!!
Arnav smirked meeting her eyes. She too wasnt looking away from him.
Arnav: I still dont see the difference between a Love marriage and arrange Marriage theory. Even if its arranged, I suppose the pair has some kind of emotion attached to that wedding which automatically makes it a Love marriage.

Khushi ( chuckled): You .. and your theories.. You should have been a Professor. The way you explain things is amazing. .
Arnav: Was it a compliment?
Khushi: Yes.. Now shall we finalise something? I heard someone has to reach office before 11:00 for a meeting. .

That's when Arnav remembered it.
Arnav: ( checking the watch): I forgot. .Which one you liked?
Khushi ( showing him the card): This one
Arnav: Lets final it then..
Khushi: You liked it too?
Arnav: Yea.. Our choices arent so different..

He smiled gently at her and then concentrated back on the STore keeper to fix the design and get the bill ready.

****************

Our families were getting excited as the wedding day was nearing. I was strictly ordered not to work much at least in the initial days after my marriage. They wanted me to spend ample of time with Khushi. It sounded nice. I get inside the house from office and I am surprised to see Khushi here. She is been surrounded by my Sibblings and no wonder she looks confused. They are planning something which I too think I should know about. I reach the gang loosening my tie.

Lavanya: See.. Even ASR is here. Now we can make some decision finally.

I meet Khushi's eyes. We greet each other by our warm smiles and I am forced to sit next to her on the couch, very much close to her. She feels little uncomfortable and I can totally understand.

Arnav: You all are suffocating us.. Let us sit comfortably atleast.
NK: Nannav mere bhai.. Dont be so unromantic .. Only 3 days left for the marriage.
Arnav: I will see how and when I need to get romantic.. Now move.

He pushed NK aside, leaving some gap between him and Khushi who finally felt better. She always liked the bonding these sibblings shared..

Arnav: So what were you guys discussing?
Anjali: CHotte.. We were planning for Bachelor's night .
My eyebrows raised high.
Lavanya: ASR.. Just between few close friends.
Akash: But is Nani going to agree?
Anjali: (sighed): I can convince her but first lets know if the groom is okay with this or not.  You know Khushi, Chotte hates parties. He doesnt like that rock music , dance, noise and all .. He is a peace lover. .( she chuckled)

Khushi and I stole glances.

Akash: Bhai. .Please agree..

Anjali, Lavanya, Akash, Payal and NK were all staring at Arnav to get a positive reply from me.

Arnav: What does the bride want? ( I asked looking at Khushi)

All looked surprised at my question. Even Khushi had no reply to that. .She hesitated to say anything on this.

Anjali: Khushi come on ..

Khushi met my eyes once and then concentrated back on others.

Khushi: Bride will go with her Groom's choice. If Arnav is against the Parties, I wont insist him to have one.

I am impressed by her reply but all the others sigh in disappointment. I finally give in to their desires.

Arnav: Okay .. Lets have a party..

Lavanya and NK screamed in excitement. Akash patted my back for accepting their wishes. I was happy seeing them happy and most  importantly I could see a smile on Khushi's lips too.

NK: Nannav.. Mere bhai.. Good you agreed. Now leave all the plans on me and La. You love birds.. just have to attend it.

Anjali: Alright.. so now that everyone got the answer, leave them alone. Chotte .. Khushi just check the Furniture album which is in your room. Select new furnitures if required for your bedroom. Go.. We dont have much time.

I stare at my Di for few seconds for that idea and then finally get up from the Couch. Khushi gets up too and starts walking with me to my room.  I see her smiling over something. I am curious to know what that was.

Arnav: Kya hua?

Khushi: Nothing. . You have got the best family in the world. I havnt seen so much bonding between any sibblings like you guys have. I envy such people. Being the only child to my parents, I never got this much of love from sibblings. It's hard to be the only child.

I could understand what she meant by that.

Arnav: This is your family too now. And trust me these guys are horrible at times. They can make you scratch your head.
Khushi ( gigled): I love people who trouble me..

I smirk.

Arnav: You are giving me hints Khushi. .!!

I dont know what got inside me to say her this . Even she became conscious and try to avoid meeting my eyes. I grit my teeth. .Damm! Hope she is not taking it the odd way. I finally clear my throat and open the room door for her to enter. SHe gets in and I follow her. I pick the Furniture album placed on the Recliner and pass it to her.

Arnav: Choose..
Khushi takes it in her hand.
Arnav: DI thinks my room is boring. And now that you will be part of this place, she wants to accomodate things based on your likes too.
Khushi: She is absolutely right.. This room is quite boring..

Her direct comment surprises me.

Khushi: But no changes required as of now. I am happy with the things here.

Now that makes my day..

Arnav: Sure?
Khushi: Yea.. Dont worry. This Grey white background isnt that bad and even I dont like heavy furnitures much in the room. They spoil the decor.

I am totally happy.

Khushi: You were right.. Our choices arent that different.

She smiles at me and walks to the french door opening the curtains gently. She happily turns around then.

Khushi: The best part of your bedroom is this Pool... I love it..

She opens the door and rushes outside at the Poolside. She is like a kid at times. I follow her. she stops by the pool and leans down to touch the fresh water. I stop behind her, admiring the way she plays with that water.. She seems to be water lover. .Khushi then looks at my plants .

Khushi: Di told me your passion for gardening..
Arnav: I can do that the whole day..
Khushi: really?
Arnav: hmm.. You want to learn it?
Khushi: There's a lot I need to learn from you ..

I smirk .. She smiles at me too.

Khushi (teasing): And that was a compliment again from me to you..

I nod and bow my head accepting that compliment from her. This woman is mesmerising me by her behaviour .. I like her..

_________________________________________________________________________________

Part 17

My sibblings are more than excited for this Bachelor Party tonight. Khushi has invited few of her friends too. Lavanya has gone to the Parlour and she will come directly at the Venue. NK and Akash are the Host of this Party. Jeejaji is all set up to drive Di and Payal whereas I will be joining the group late. I had asked Khushi if she wants me to pick her up from home, but she denied as she doesnt want me to drive all the way to her house first and then the Venue. It will consume more time. Shashi Uncle will drop her there personally. And its obvious that all we youngsters are specifically been warned by our elders here not to drink more or do anything which can put the family prestige at shame. I have told them to trust me if not others which I am sure they dont have a doubt about. They know my sincerity. Unless my sibblings dont play a prank on me tonight and make me lose my sanity first.

Well, I am standing in the bathroom before the mirror looking at my grown beard which I usuall trim but never shave since many months. Di always had complain about it but I never took it into consideration. But today, I am not going to disappoint her. It's my wedding in 2 days. I am not going to break my Di's heart. As I start shaving my beard, I am still wondering if I am doing this for Di.. or .. my would be wife Khushi..!! There is a small blush on my face, thank God I am alone here to see it.

My phone beeps and I quickly check the message which was from Khushi.

"Started for the Venue?"

I text her back.

"Why does it sound like a desperation to see me?"

We have never texted so flirtishly.. But I take a chance today. I am not sure how she would respond to that. I wait for her to reply back. I have stopped shaving.. I want to read what she writes back. My phone beeps again and here comes her reply.

"You guessed it right, now stop blushing on the phone screen and start soon"

Damm!! This woman.. Sometimes I feel I know her from ages.. !! I quicken my actions and wash the face to get dressed up. I dont know how we are going to face each other after this flirtish message conversation.

******************

Bachelor Party

I enter the Venue and I am already surrounded by NK and Akash who were desperately waiting for me to arrive.

Akash: Bhai? Oh my God.. Do you plan to kill the women here tonight?
NK: Nannav.. Mere bhai.. Where is your beard gone?

I try not to look over conscious.

Arnav: Nikal di.. Big deal!! (I shaved off!! Big Deal!!)
Nannav instantly pushes me by his shoulder in a teasing way.
NK: Kis ke liye? ( For whom?)
I dont respond. The fact is that even I am not very much aware of this..

Akash: NK.. What kind of question is this? We know the answer already, dont we?

I am trying my best to be controlled and unaffected by their teases.

Arnav: Can we just enter inside or you guys want me to drive back home?
NK: Ohh Nannav.. Mere bhai.. You have no idea what we have planned for you tonight..

Okay now seriously I am getting nervous about all this. What PLAN had they made for me? I am been dragged inside where I meet the rest of my sibblings.. Di is super happy seeing me shaved .. She is constantly praising my new looks but my eyes is wandering in search of Khushi. Where is she? I couldnt hold this suspense anymore.

Arnav: Khushi isnt here yet?

Everyone are "Awwed" hearing that.

Anjali: Chotte?? Itni becheni? (Chotte??? so much desperation?)

Arnav : Di please.. I am just worried if she has reached the Venue or not. Thats all.

None of them believed me . It was obvious I was lying. My motive of seeing Khushi was purely different from what reason I was giving my family.. Suddenly I heard Lavanya's voice.

Lavanya: Your bride is with Bhai.

Everyone turned around. Khushi and Lavanya were standing together. Khushi was wearing a Black white skirt and Velvet Black top. She had curled her lower hair and and left them open. She was looking absolutely adorable . The moment Khushi's eyes met Arnav's' she could feel her smile doubling. Arnav shaved his beard? That was interesting. She and Lavanya came forward.

Arnav: Kahan  thi tum? Why so late?
Khushi: I reached her on time . Infact you delayed but if that delay was for shaving that beard of yours, none of us mind.. ( she gigled)

Everyone else also started laughing.

I am not very comfortable when someone teases me, but when that tease came from Khushi , I couldnt help but smile along with the others.

NK: Okay.. Nannav..Khushi Bhabhi.. Please maintain this mood of yours and come with us..

They all took Arnav and Khushi inside with them . There was a huge Cake awaiting their attention..

Anjali: This Cake is specially made taking into considerations my Chotte's and his would be wife's choice.
Arnav: But its chocolate cake.  I never liked that .
Khushi: I love it..
Anjali: The flavour is Khushi's choice but its Sugarfree just like my Chotte needs ..

I sigh.. But I am glad that my family is so much concerned for Khushi's likes and dislikes. It's not that they didnt show this same attention to Sonia, they did. But that love was accompanied by Sympathy too. I am withdrawn from my thoughts when Khushi gently touches my arm and gestures me to hold her hand so that we can then together cut the cake. I do that. The entire crowd cheers us up when we cut that Delicious chocolate cake finally and feed each other. This is the first time I am actually feeling like having someone of my own.. Khushi Gupta... Who had thought that after 2 years of my first marriage, I would end up marrying again.

The music was loud, I popped the Champagne and poured the liquid to my dear ones. Khushi meanwhile was dragged on the dance floor by her friends. She seemed to be hesitant to dance in the beginning but later they could convince her. She waved her hands on top and started dancing on the rythem. I knew she was a great dancer, she had told me that. But the proof was right before my eyes today. Everyone from my siblings joined the crowd for the dance.

I gulp the Champagne as my eyes keep admiring Khushi on the dance floor. She probably is unaware I am watching her so intensely. Jeejaji stops by me.

Shyam: What are you doing here? Join the floor with Khushi.
Arnav (smirking): As if I can dance like that

Jeejaji knows I am not a very good dancer.

Shyam: So what? It's not about dancing, its about being close to her. Admiring from so far away wont be that good. Come..

I dont know how to react. Jeejaji has caught me staring at Khushi.

Arnav: I thought you will at least take my side and not tease me like others Jeejaji..
Shyam ( placing a hand on his shoulderS): Saale Sahab.. Today is an exception, I am very happy for you, besides, I can see a major change in Khushi too. Initially I felt she is trying to avoid all this, I mean the marriage, you.. and even to some extent Us.. But I was wrong.. SHe probably needed time and finally we have acheived what we wanted. After 2 days you are getting married to her.

I am pleased.

Arnav: Actually Di helped me here. She said talking to our partner would only simplify things, thats what me and Khushi did.
Shyam: Yea.. and it worked.. Chalo now.. Stop being a bore and join us..

Jeejaji dragged me to the dance floor and made me stand exactly where Khushi was. She stopped dancing seeing me beside her. There was a smile on her face as if she wanted to know if I am going to join her for the dance. I nod a poor "NO" to which she sighs and holds my hand before I could run away from the dance floor. I am amazed at her actions. Everyone else are cheering us or themselves , I am not sure because there is so much noise here amidst the loud music. Lavanya meanwhile pushes Khushi on me while dancing, which makes us both very uncomfortable. I try not to make her feel embarassed.. I hold her and we finally dance just like a couple who have started falling for each other slowly.

I never thought I can dance for almost 30 minutes continuously.. I am enjoying it though. Luckily no one changed my partner. who was none other than Khushi. She almost taught me to dance on such noisy beats too. She looks thirsty, we both walk down to get her some water.

Khushi ( wiping her face): So?? How was it?
Arnav: Kya?
Khushi: Dancing.. !!
I just smile at her. She gulps the water quickly and takes a deep breathe. We both are tired.. There are friends who keep coming and insisting us for a selfie and all. We cant deny. Someone also asks us to pose together so that they can take our pic . This is insane because I always hate this part. Taking photos , uploading, liking ,commenting and all. But Khushi seems much interested. She is good poser too when it comes to taking pictures. She stands beside me and finally give a pose which probably makes us both look very stylish..

The friends leave for the dance floor again..

Arnav: Let's take a walk around?

She doesnt deny.. She knows I love peace and I wont get it on that dance floor for sure. We walk towards the garden area which is beautifully decorated with light strings. We are walking close enough to each other. Our hands almost brushing as we step ahead..

Arnav: Done with the packing and all?
Khushi: Uhhh.. Not really. Till last minute it will go on.. Have you cleared some space in your closet for my stuff?
Arnav: Di helped. I never knew I had so many junk clothes in the closet from years which I never wore.
Khushi ( chuckled): Always happens with me too. Especially the Jeans and skirts. I have plenty of them and I dont know what to do.
Arnav: Why? You can still wear them .
Khushi looks at me surprisingly.
Khushi: We are going to stay in a Joint family Arnav.. They wont like it.
Arnav: Dont presume things Khushi. You have no restrictions on your clothing . .Wear considering the occassion, that would do.

She looks happy with my comment.

Khushi: You know I was really mad.!! I didnt recognise a gem like you before.. I was so rude in the initial days.. But I am happy now. Looks like I am getting the most understanding husband in the world.

I feel pride in her talks.

Arnav: Save that comment for later. We are yet to be married. I wont be that understanding always..
Khushi: I believe that. I will be prepared to face the other side of you too.. ( she chuckles again)

We halt.. I feel a pull towards her.. She stops laughing. I can see her getting tense when I touch her hand and entwine my fingers with hers. Probably she hadnt expected that, neither I. THis woman drives me crazy sometimes by her talks, her smile and her cuteness. We are much aloof from the crowd, no one can actually spot us that easily.

Arnav: ( leaning closer to her): Does that scare you? ( My voice is getting huskier.  )
Khushi ( gulping): WHat?
Arnav: Your heart is beating louder than usual... ( I whisper )
She bits her lip in nervously.
Khushi: Our beats are at Sync Arnav.. I can feel that..
Arnav: So? ( I like what she said.. It's true. Our heartbeats are syncing together)
Khushi: So??  I .. I dont know.. Havnt felt like this before.. with anyone..
Arnav: Neither I.. ( I smile at her confessing the truth.. )

Probably it's too early to go beyond this stage. Our foreheads touch though for few seconds , our fingers still entwined and the only hurdle between our bodies. There is a sudden noise of crackers which breaks our stance and we pull ourselves apart. We both look on the sky, at the sparkles of light formed. It's a new beginning for us.. And we are enjoying this phase totally.

_________________________________________________________________________________


Part 18

I am on my bed, thinking about the cute moments I spent with Khushi in the Bachelor's party today. It was ravishing. And that little walk of ours in the garden, almost tickled my senses. We both were so close. Our chemistry was getting amazing day by day. The good part was that Khushi was accepting me and this marriage with open heart unlike earlier. She thinks I am the gem of a person? I dont know if thats true but my only intention will be to keep her happy always. No matter what medical issues she faces, I will always keep tears away from her eyes.

I try closing my eyes with these thoughts when the phone ring wakes me up again. It's Khushi calling me. At this hour? I quickly answer.

Arnav: Didnt sleep yet?
Khushi: Uhh.. no..

I feel some heaviness in her voice. I panic.

Arnav: You alright? Why is your voice sounding low?
Khushi: Nothing.. Just felt like talking to you.

I know she is hiding something from me which tense me all the more. I sat on the bed to pay utmost concentration on her words.

Arnav: What's wrong Khushi? You never called me this late. Something is bothering you, I know. Speak up..
Khushi: How do you read me so easily Arnav?

I smile.

Arnav: I too havnt known that yet. The day I do, will let you know. Now tell me what is it about?
Khushi: Lavanya had tagged me in our pics together at the Bachelor's party today. I was just checking them on the social networking site, commenting and all, when I saw a personal message ..
Arnav: ( confused): Whose message?

She takes a deep breathe, drawing some time.

Arnav: WHOSE MESSAGE KHUSHI? ( my tone sharpens)
Khushi: Nikhil..

I stiffen.. That Scoundral messaged my would be wife ? How dare he? But even though my blood is boiling here, I dont let Khushi feel the heat of it. I be patient enough to know the full fact.

Arnav: What did he write?
Khushi: He.. he didnt know I am getting married. He said he wants to meet me.

I fist my fingers with rage. He spoils my Khushi's life first by making her addicted to drugs which has led to problems with she conceiving or not in future, and now he wants to meet her ?Why?

Khushi: He has even given me the place and time Arnav. I didnt respond. He was asking my number too. I didnt share anything.

She is scared, I can tell that easily from her voice. She starts crying over the phone all of a sudden. I feel bad for her.

Arnav: Khushi? Stop crying.. Rona bund karo.. please..

She still weeps. She is little disturbed by this sudden interference from Nikhil in her life at this stage when she is going to start a new phase with me.

Arnav: If you dont stop crying right now, I will come there.

Her weeping sound starts fading.. I can feel she is trying to relax now and not weep like a teenager.

Arnav: Thats better.. Now tell me what do you want to do? Meet him or not?
Khushi: You asking me that? You even think I will ever meet that man again?
Arnav: Before opening a new chapter, its best to close the old ones Khushi. Give it a full stop forever. I know you both have parted ways long ago but that wasnt so formal.
Khushi: I thought you are sensible enough to understand I hate him. Formal or not, I dont care what kind of closure I gave that madness of mine. I dont want to meet him Arnav. And thats final. ( she replied with utmost frustration)

She started weeping again.

Khushi: I called you so that you could relieve my stress but you have failed in that Arnav.. Sorry to say..

She disconnected the call. I felt terribly bad for what I did. Though not completely wrong, I still worsened her pain. I shove the duvet off my body and I get down the bed.

*******************

An hour later - Almost 03:00 am in the morning

Khushi couldnt get sleep. Her past with Nikhil was haunting her. Why did life always make her face such horrible situations? She had just started dreaming a future with Arnav, trying to cope up with the fact that she might never conceive a baby, that her past suddenly started interfering again. She cannot lose Arnav. Not after all this. What if Nikhil plays his witty game and tries to cut off her ties with Raizadas?

She snuggled her pillow and tried to stop weeping. She was afraid. Suddenly a message beeped on her phone. She was more scared to open it even thinking what if its Nikhil's? What if he had succeeded in getting her number? But she cannot ignore that unknown message. She gathered some courage and read the message. To her surprise it was from Arnav.

"Why is your table lamp still ON at this hour?"

Khushi was shocked. How did he know her table lamp was ON? Was he here ?She immediately got up and sneeked out from the window. She saw Arnav standing beside his car parked inside their gates. He was looking sleepy yet his eyes were waiting to see her once. He waved his hand being unable to understand if she had actually seen him or not. She was so amazed seeing him there at this hour. She didnt care what outfit she was in, she ran down until she was out and standing before him.

Khushi ( breathing heavily): What .. what are you.. you doing here?
Arnav: I heard your little whimpers in my room. ( I teased)

I knew she must have been crying since she got Nikhil's message. And I can confirm that from her swollen eyes. I slowly clutch her arms drawing her closer to me.

Arnav: I thought you are a strong woman Khushi. I didnt knew you would become so weak only because one of the page of past is opened again.
Khushi: I just dont want anything to go wrong after this Arnav. I am not in for another heart break.

I could feel the intensity in eyes as she said this. She was really scared and needed my comfort. I take her gently in my arms and caress her open hair.

Arnav: No one will break your heart ever.  Stop over thinking.

She had first time snuggled to me like her favourite toy. We stood there for some minutes until her whimpers stopped. She might even fall asleep if she stays like that any further. Not that I would mind. I can take her back to her room and make her lie down. But.. This isnt so very right especially if her father or Buaji sees.

Arnav: Khushi? ( I call her very softly)

She realises our position and immediately gets her head off my shoulders. We both share a plain eye lock. She wasnt hoping such a gesture from her probably.

Khushi: Sorry.. I ..
Arnav: (interrupting): It's okay.. I am going to be your husband now.. This hug was normal...

She smiles.

Khushi: I didnt mean about this hug.. I am sorry for bothering you at this hour of night.

She waits to see my reactions and my cheeks are flushed. Damm!!  I thought she was uncomfortable of the comfort I provided, it isnt so.
I try to cover up.

Arnav: Dont worry about me, I love driving on deserted streets at nights.

She is thankful again, I can read her mind.

Arnav: Anyways, I understand you dont want to meet Nikhil.. So I wont insist you either. I just want you to be calm then and ignore any further communication with him even if he tries. Will that be alright for you?
Khushi noded gently.
Arnav: Well then.. Matter solved. Get some sleep. I will see you tomorrow.
Khushi: Tomorrow? How? It's my Mehndi. And I suppose it's going to be a ladies function. You cant come.
Arnav: Kaun rokega mujhe? ( Who will stop me?)

I smirk.. She feels heated up by that and avoids meeting my eyes after. But she is controlling herself from blushing hard.

Khushi: Go home now. .Good night.
Arnav: Sleep well ( I touch her heated cheek once before getting back to my car and driving out)

She keeps staring at my car which I see from the rear mirror until I leave the gates of Gupta House.

********************

Mehndi Day

Khushi washed her hair and came out of the bathroom wiping them with a Fresh Towel. She was already very late for dressing up. But this wasnt her fault really. She was finishing her packing. In 2 days she will be gone to Raizada house forever. The mere thought of getting married created ripples of pleasure in her stomach. She dried her hair and started dressing up. The Maroon color Lehnga Choli looked very appealing to wear. It was Buaji's choice. She loved it the instant Buaji showed it to her. How much her family loves her, she was lucky to have them all. And her in laws werent less. They loved her too. She hadnt realised all this until she met Arnav though.

There was a door knock and Lavanya and Payal entered her room. She was happy to see the Raizada's were here.

Payal: Need our help to dress up?
Khushi: Just the hair. I will dress up myself. Come in by the way..

They started helping her. She was so curious to know if Arnav also could make it here for her Mehndi.. But how to ask these girls?

Khushi: Uhh.. Is everyone down? I mean Di, Jeejaji? ( she purposely asked)
Lavanya: No.. Jeejaji didnt come.. It's a ladies function Khushi Bhabhi.. They are not allowed..
Khushi: Even Arnav didnt come? ( SHe bit her lip for asking that so shamelessly. )

Payal and Lavanya laughed out.

Khushi: he is the groom afterall.. He can come right? ( She tries being naive)
Lavanya hits me by her shoulder.
Lavanya: Missing Bhai?
Khushi: No.. Why would I?
Payal: Dont lie. If you be honest we might tell you if he has come or not.
Khushi gets up from the dressing table chair and walks to the bed to wear her accessories.

Khushi: I can see that myself when I reach down.
Lavanya: Okay then.. We wont tell. And by the way, a husband is allowed in only one ladies function.. Godh Bharai.. (baby shower).
Payal ( gigled): And looking at you and Arnav, I think that day might come soon.. Hai naa Khushi?

Both Lavanya and Payal were enjoying every bit of teasing Khushi who suddenly froze at the comment.. Godh Bharai? Will she ever have that honour in life to become a mother? Her eyes teared but she couldnt let the others see it. She wiped her tears and tried acting normal again.
Buaji entered the room.

Buaji: Got ready Khushi? We are getting late.. Everyone is down.. Chalo..

They
took Khushi down in the Living room. Many close friends and relatives were invited. Khushi could not see an signs of Arnav here. Probably he couldnt make it . She sat down to start getting her Mehndi applied. Thats when her phone beeped. She asked the girl to stop and very gently checked the message. It was from Arnav..

"I will reach in one hour"

She was happy. So he is coming.. Wow!!

_________________________________________________________________________________


Part 19

Gupta House

I enter the house trying to hide my emotions and the dullness on my face not wishing my family or Khushi to notice it. I am been stopped by Buaji the moment I get in.

 Buaji: Hai re Nandakishore. Arnav bitwa??what are you doing here??

 I fake a smile which comes very hardly today on my lips.

 Arnav: Uhh.. Buaji.. Khushi kahan hai??

 I don't want to give an explanation why I am here. So I come straight to the point. Buaji blushes in such a way that it could give any normal man of her age some tickles in their stomach for sure.

 Buaji: Couldn't hold yourself for 2 more days, did you?? Itni bhi kya bechaini?? ( she pokes my arm with her finger and I sigh moving a little away from her before she could do something else.)

I have now already seen Khushi amidst her group of friends. They are teasing her and she is very much happy by that. I feel a kind of strength when I see her. As if she is the one now who can understand me, help me come out of my grief. She sees me looking at her from far. Her lips curve for a smile and she immediately shows me her palms which are covered by Mehndi already. I was supposed to be here long time ago when she was getting her Mehndi done but I couldn't. She suddenly realised I am late and then very stiffly lowers her palms. I gesture her from my expressions the delay couldn't be helped from my end. She frowns and tries avoiding my gaze. I can see she is angry on me. May be she expects me to even say a sorry. But am I really in the mood right now to apologize to a woman??

I am still standing there trying to make up my mood and may be now Khushi finds out from my stressful look. She excuses her friends and walks to me. I keep my gaze on her as she advances.

Khushi: I thought you will be punctual enough at least during our wedding pre rituals.
I breathe heavily trying to focus on her talks by supressing all the gloomiest feelings brewing inside me currently.
Arnav: Kuch .. Kuch kaam tha.. ( I had some work)

I never defend myself before anyone but for Khushi I have always broken my own rules.. I don't meet her eyes exactly after responding. One friend of Khushi's comes and intrudes our talks.

 Friend: Khushi.. This is unfair.. After 2 days you are going to get plenty of time to spend with our Jeejaji.. At least now spend time with us.. Come.

Khushi was dragged by her friends back to the group where she earlier was. I don't know what to do. I wanted to talk to her.. I wanted to share my grief with her but may be this is just not the right time. I walk outside again. If I am stand here for sure I will be forced to meet and greet people who will tease me too. I don't understand what is the big deal in getting married? Everyone does.. Still people dont stop teasing each other. I don't know if Khushi has seen me going outside again and standing alone at the lawn before her house. I am feeling too much suffocated. Suddenly I feel an arm on my shoulder and I turn around. Its Khushi. She looks at me with much concern.

 Khushi: What's wrong Arnav? You are looking so dull. Kuch Hua hai kya??

 She reads my face so easily. My eyes are moist.. I am a very strong man in terms of emotions. I don't let people see my tears easily. But before Khushi I don't feel the need of hiding it. She is going to be my wife and she has full rights to know what was bothering me today.

 Arnav: We.. We cant talk here.. Its okay.. You carry on with the guest.
 I give her a gentle push but she is too adamant to accept my words. She holds my hand and drags me back inside. I don't know where she is leading us to. I keep walking. We are stopped by di who is surprised to see me here just like others.

 Anjali: Chotte?? Tum yahan??
Khushi knows I might not be able to answer this at the moment and she doesn't want to put me in ackward situation. Hence she takes the blame on her.

 Khushi: Di .. I had called him here. Uhh..can you please excuse us , we will be back down in some time. Please..

Di doesn't deny. She touches my cheek and then blushes seeing Khushi who again drags me towards the stairs which leads to her bedroom. We reach there and she locks the door.

 Khushi: Ab bolo.. What's the matter??

 I gulp.. She is waiting for my response.

 Arnav: I.. I had been to the NGO for giving the cheque.. Hence got delayed.

Khushi is surprised. She doesn't know anything about this.

 Khushi: Which NGO?? What cheque??

 I realise Khushi has no idea what I am talking about. I sit on the couch and she immediately sits next to me.

 Arnav: Every month I.. I donate part of my profit to an NGO who works for the mentally unstable people. I started this after Sonia's death. ( my throat aches while stating this)

 Khushi notices my pain and keeps her hand on my palm pressing it gently.

Arnav: Every month I do this without fail. No one ever has reminded me for this. How could I forget it this time? I didn't even remember it until they gave me a call and asked about it. This is so ridiculous. Khushi . . our marriage is not going to be the end to my responsibilities towards these things which I am still doing for Sonia.

I know Khushi won't mind but I am still clearing my stand with her.

Khushi: I know Arnav. I can never want you to stop doing all this in future ever. Your sentiments towards Sonia make me feel proud of you. I have seen men forgetting their first wife after settling down with their new partner. They are not selfish.. But They move  on very quickly as if they never had any feelings attached to their first marriage. But you are different! And that's what increases my respect for you.

Her explanation gives me more strength. She detaches from me and gets her phone.

Khushi: Okay tell me what date you visit this NGO every month??

I am not sure what she plans to do. I still tell her.

Arnav: 12th of every month.

Khushi feeds something on her phone and then keeps it on bed.

Khushi: Done. I have kept a reminder for 12th every month. I know you won't forget this in future, but still even if you do, I will be there to remind you. And not just that , but if you don't mind I can also accompany you there.

I am so much thrilled by her initiative. She is really the sweetest person whom I have experienced in my life.

Khushi: What?? Now cheer up.. I don't like to see you gloomy. Give me that signature smirk of yours. ( she commands)

A weak smile follows on my lips and I see her smiling back at me.

Arnav: How can you do all this so easily?
Khushi: When there is a strong bond between two people, such things automatically happen. I am not doing anything extra..

She leans her head on my shoulder. My hand automatically wraps around her form to ensure she is comfortable. Our breathes are finally becoming calm. She understands me so well now. And what am I giving her in return? It is her first wedding afterall,I shouldn't scare her or make her so much worried. She is already been concerned about leaving her family and settling in a new house. I should focus on keeping her happy henceforth.

I slowly hold her wrist and raise her palm to see how exactly the Mehndi looks like on her. She likes to know I am finally concentrating on it.

Khushi: Find your name ...
Arnav: Is that supposed to be a tradition??
Khushi: hmmm
Arnav: Alright... Let me see..

I linger my forefinger lazily over her palm, tracing each and every line on it. She gigles feeling tickled .She tries to take off her arm from my hold too but I dont let her do that. Her breathing shallows again as she raises her head slowly from my shoulder and meets my eyes and then lower on my nose .. then lips. I smirk seeing her gulping.

She tries to get up but I hold her hand and make her sit next to me again. Our eyes are gazing in each others.. I slowly move my palm to her cheek. She closes her eye.  I keep admiring her as if this is the only chance  I have to stare at my would be wife. We hear some sounds from outside the door, of the relatives ..They are calling out my name.. Khushi open her eyes as I withdrew my palm off her face.

Khushi: We should go down. Sab soch rahe honge ki hum dono kahan hai? ( she gigled) (Everyone must be thinking where we both are?)

Arnav: Sab ab tak samajh gaye honge ki hum kahan hai aur kyon ?( They all must have known my now where we are and why ??

My little tease has made her blush hard. She pulls me so that I get up from the Couch.

Khushi: Lets go..

I can see she is very much shy of my comments and cant really stand it for now. I walk with her till the door but before she can open the door, I stop her. I raise her palm. She is amazed to know why I did so. I slowly point my finger exactly where my name is written on her palm. She is startled.

Khushi: Oh My god. How did you find it so easily?
Arnav: Anything related to you has started becoming my expertise now. (I proudly state that only to find her blushing more hard)

I feel really nice when she pays so much attention on my words and takes it to her heart. It also means I have to be more conscious when I speak to her, just to ensure I dont hurt her by my statements anytime. We walk outside her room finally and get mix up with the rest of the family members who dont leave a chance to tease us on what were we doing for such a long time in Khushi's room?

*****************

I stay with my family till the end of the Mehndi function. The guests have gone back to their homes and it's just me and my family who are almost leaving. Khushi, Shashi UNcle and Buaji have come outside till the car to drop us. Khushi and I both keep giving each other short glances all this while. WHen I see her walking alone behind us, I slow down my pace to walk with her. SHe likes that step from me. Once we are together, she looks in my eyes.

Arnav: Forgot to ask you.. Any more messages from that guy?

Khushi stiffens again. May be I shouldnt have reminded her of Nikhil today. But I couldnt help.

Khushi: I dont know if he has messaged me on my social account. I dont want to check.
Arnav: Hmm.. Fine.. ( I agree to her will)

We all stop at the car and Khushi starts hugging my cousins and taking blessing from Nani. I inturn hug Shashi Uncle. He pats my back.

Arnav: Uhh. Uncle I have one request..
Shashi ( confused): Request?
Arnav: It's more of a permission though.. I know tomorrow is the Haldi but its in the evening. SO.. ( I look at Khushi once who is equally thrilled what I am going to ask from her father).. So.. Can I take Khushi out for few hours in the morning? Just me and her? Only if you dont mind..

My straight question makes everyone bewildered. But Shashi Uncle doesnt think twice before replying me ,

Shashi: Why not? You are always welcomed to take her anywhere you want. But come back soon. We dont want the relatives to keep mocking about it.
Arnav: Sure. We wont give them a chance either. Thanks.

I again look at Khushi who questions me from her eyes, where exactly I planned to take her tomorrow. I nod back for her to calm down. I dont want to let the surprise out. She sighs heavily and then we all get inside the car to leave back for home .Khushi keeps waving at us as we drive. I dont forget to extend my arm outside the window and wave her back. I know it will make her feel happy as doing such gestures have never been my choice till now.

_________________________________________________________________________________



Part 20

The next day I pick Khushi from Gupta house and drive her to the place which I had planned to show her. She keeps asking me many questions about where we are driving to but I cut her words and talk something else. We finally reach that premises within an hour. She reads the Hoarding "Paradise" at the entrance of this Building. She kinds of guesses it by now that I have got her to some place where the Mentally challenged people are homed. She gets down from the car with me.

Arnav: This is where my monthly charity amount goes to..

Khushi feels very proud and she holds my hand turning to meet my eyes.

Khushi: SInce last night , I was actually wondering what this place would mean to you.. Do you even visit the people around here or is it just the money that you hand over to the Manager and so on.. Thanks for getting me here Arnav.. It makes me feel that you actually sharing every bit of your life with me.
Arnav: Save it..!! THere are things you still dont know..
Khushi: Who cares? We have years to know each other still and I am in no hurry.. ( She winks at me and in return she receive that wide smirk on my face)
Arnav: Lets get in ? The manager will lead us to the inmates here, if you wish to meet them personally..
Khushi: I would love to. .
Arnav: ( holds her hand): Come then..

I take Khushi  inside at the Administration room where the people are already waiting to receive us. The manager leads us to the different rooms where the mentally challenged inmates are busy in their own world. Some of them really gets tears in Khushi's eyes and a very few manages to get a smile on Khushi's face by their innocent talks. All this time Khushi keeps holding my hand, looking at me with admiration when I interact with the inmates too.

I then point Khushi towards the woman who is sitting at one corner and dressing her doll, combing her hair and pampering the toy. Khushi feels very pity seeing her state.

Arnav: She is the one who resembles Sonia very much.

I dont mind letting Khushi know that. She looks at me curiously to understand why I said so.  She is not at fault here. She has no idea how Sonia was. I never told her. .

Arnav: Yea.. Sonia was just like her. Always in her doll.. She had this cute little Stuffed doll whom she considered to be her baby. She fed it, dressed it, played with it the whole day. Infact she even slept with it. She was so fond of that doll.

Khushi feels the pain I am currently undergoing while narrating my past. We start walking ahead, just the two of us, to continue this conversation.

Arnav: Somehow we came in contact with Jeejaji for some Land deal. He was a very simple man and he won our hearts easily. When he introduced us to his little sister Sonia, all of us showed sympathy for her. It was me whom she easily bonded with after her Brother and thats what surprised the others. I wasnt much good with kids but she was not exactly a kid.. she was a grown up child, to be more specific. At times she behaved like a teenage girl, very much curious to do things, very much shy to talk to boys. But the very next moment she argued and demanded like a 8 year old kid. That nature of hers might have been burden to others but I took it as a challenge. I knew Di was falling for SHyam Jha, whose only weakness was his sister Sonia. He always had a fear what would happen to Sonia if he gets engrossed in his marital life? Afterall he too will have a family some day to look after, he will have to concentrate on his wife too and will he be still able to manage the responsibilities of his  sister the same way like he did those times? This is the only reason though he was equally interested in marrying Di, he maintained a distance between them, deciding he might not marry ever. Di started getting upset.. She told him how Sonia's presence in their life will never fade and that she was ready to take her responsibility fully like Shyam Jha.. But it was obvious for any brother to feel oversecured for his sister especially when she was mentally challenged. He kept denying.. I couldnt see Di yearning for his love.. So I decided to take one step towards sorting this issue. Shyam Jha didnt had that much savings to consult Sonia to a good Psychatrist. So I took a lead here. I started bonding with Sonia more, this was initially only a responsibility for me which slowly turned out to attraction..

Khushi gulped.. She never thought he was attracted to Sonia.. She took it as if he did the marriage only for getting his Sister married to Shyam.

Arnav: No one will believe that, I know.. Any normal man will not usually get attracted to a woman who doesnt even understand the difference between a man and a woman. But.. This was not in my control. Sonia was really something.. An angel in the disguise of a woman cum child. Her smile made me smile too, her cute antics made me want her by my side forever. I started missing her if she wasnt around. It was not that we only had good memories in the beginning.. She was worst to handle too. At times she used to lock herself in the room and not come back for hours. We used to keep looking for her all the day and then when we used to find her, she would laugh at us, only boiling my anger all the more. I still remember when once she did that, I pinned her to the wall in anger. The whole family was watching us. I couldnt control my frustration.. I blurted out to her.. "Stop laughing Sonia.. Next time you do this, try getting away from me and I will end this world.. You get that?" My words though she couldnt understand clearly, she could feel the love I had for her instantly.. The next moment she hugged me and stayed there for almost 10 minutes. It was a kind of a gesture from her, conveying me that she will never do the same again..

Khushi was totally perplexed.. She kept looking in Arnav's eyes now which had become a bit moist.

Khushi: What happened then?
Arnav (sighed remembering that moment again): I looked at my family and told them I wanted to marry Sonia.. I wanted to keep her with me forever no matter what the outside world thinks..

Khushi again felt a pride within her.

Arnav: But you know .. Di, Nani all were very against this marriage. They thought I was doing some kind of favour.. And that I deserved someone better.. Who can understand me.. Sonia can never give me anything apart from responsibility, they knew it and tried advising me too. But I was firm about marrying her. So after few days the family gave up and understood my love for Sonia, and got the wedding dates fixed.. Both Di and me got married on the same day..

Khushi saw me gulping my tears as I tried looking elsewhere.. Her hold on my wrist became more tighter.

Khushi: It's okay Arnav.. You dont have to continue this if you are so much in pain.. I understand..

She tries to make me feel better but I am not going to disappoint her today. I look back at her becoming strong.

Arnav : No Khushi.. Just like you told me everything about your past, I also want to share this.. Past 2 years I have only kept it hidden within myself. No one has ever known how I felt about Sonia and our marriage. It was never important for them to know. But you are going to become my wife, you should know that Sonia is my first love.. And that bond with her was something which cannot be shared with anyone.

Khushi noded and held my palms in between hers, closing it tightely.

Khushi: I know that already.
Arnav: That doesnt mean what we both share is anywhere less. You are equally meaningful and needed in my life to complete it Khushi..

She became so emotional after hearing this that she immediately hugged me with a force.. I take her in my arms with that same intensity.. We stay there, like that, for God knows how many minutes only to be disturbed by the Manager of this place who clears his throat. Khushi pulls back from the hug and moves a bit away.

Manager: Sorry Sir to disturb you but the meeting hours are over. If you want you both can still extend, I will just have to take an extra permission from the head.
Arnav: Uh.. No.. Thanks. We will come some other time again.
Khushi: Yea. .Infact the next time we come here will be with lots of sweets for everyone..

I smile at Khushi knowing which sweets she was talking about.. Our marriage sweets.. The Manager escorts us to the Parking and then we see him off. We get in the car and I drive out from that place taking some happy memories I just shared with Khushi here. But my part of the Past is still incomplete for Khushi. There is a lot more to it which I still want to tell her. So I decide to have a proper lunch with Khushi at a nearby restaurant. Thats the least we can do in this limited time period we had got from our families.

After ordering the food, I continue.

Arnav: Our marriage was quite unusual. I mean there were no Pre marriage rituals and functions like Mehndi, haldi. We didnt know how Sonia would react to all this. She might not be interested to sit in the same place for getting the Mehndi drawn or Haldi applied. Thats why we skipped it. Even during the marriage rituals, she was bored to complete all 7 phera's. She took 2 happily with me and then stopped saying she is tired and wants her doll back. Jeejaji who himself was another groom that day, thought of convincing her but I didnt let him do that. I persuaded Sonia to complete the Phera's promising her to give a gift that night after this is done. She loved to get gifts and hence she readily agreed..

Khushi: She was so innocent..
Arnav (sighed ): THats what makes me think Khushi.. I feel horrible sometimes when I think what if , Sonia was not mentally challenged ? Would she still marry me? She didnt even know what marriage is. So was I to be blamed for getting her tied to a relationship whose meaning also she is unaware of? In the name of protecting her for lifetime, did I go against her wish?

These questions had always haunted my mind ever since Sonia ended her life accidently. Khushi presses my fist gently ..

Khushi: Any woman can trust a man like you without even looking Arnav. You have that clean heart.. You should be praised for giving a girl like Sonia a new life. It was fate that snatched her away from you. Dont you ever regret for your first marriage. Had Sonia been alive and turned normal after her treatments, she would have been proud of you.. Just the way I am to have you in my life.

Her explanation makes me feel better. She wants to change the mood, hence she dips the spoon in the Soup and tries to feed me.
I dont deny. I just love the way she cares for me and gives me attention. I have always yearned for that wifely love. Khushi is the one who is finally putting end to my Tanhaai and making my life colorful again.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Part 21

We are still in the Restaurant, though we have finished eating long back, our fingers entwined, as we sit next to each other.

Arnav: Forgot to ask you.. Where do you want to go after marriage?

Khushi understands I am asking about her choice for honeymoon and it definately turns her cheeks to pink.

Arnav: Don't make me guess that please. I am worst in deciding places for leisure travel.
Khushi: You have time for going out with me?

I shrug my shoulders noding a yes.

Arnav: One week should be fine.
Khushi: How will you manage work?
Arnav: Umm.. Aman is there. Besides Akash can handle it on my behalf in commercial side. Dont worry.
Khushi: (smiled): I .. did some.. surfing on net.. There are many good places out there I would want to see..
Arnav: Names?
Khushi: Beaches or Hill station?
Arnav: Any would do..
Khushi: This is unfair.. Tell me specifically.
Arnav: (Sighed): Ahhh. .Okay. .umm.. Beaches. .
Khushi: Cool. I also felt the same. Beaches are calm..
Arnav: Great. So where ? Maldives? Mauritius? Bali?
Khushi: Any.
Arnav ( pinching her nose): "ANY" is not allowed. Be Specific.

Khushi gigles.

Khushi: Alright. Bali then.
Arnav: I will ask Aman to book the tickets and hotel.
Khushi: Beach resort ( she insisted)
Arnav: Ofcourse.

I take out my phone and quickly message Aman the details. Khushi checks her watch.

Khushi: O God. It's 03:00 pm Arnav. The Haldi rasam will start at 06:00. We should go.
I am unprepared to leave her, though I know she will be coming in my life, in my house permanently the next day. It's just a matter of few hours so I agree.  I keep my phone in my pant pockets, pay the bill and then we walk out towards the parking.

After dropping Khushi, when I reach home, I find Jeejaji and Di sitting on the COuch, where Di was trying to caress her stomach while Jeejaji pouring the water from the Jug to pass it to Di. I can sense something wrong happening with Di. I rush to them..

Arnav: Di? Whats wrong? Why are you looking so pale?
Anjali: Chotte?
Arnav: Di should I call the Dr?
Anjali: No.. I am fine.
Shyam: Nothing is fine Rani Saheba.. You seem to be working day and night on this wedding's preperations. You shouldnt forget you are having a life inside you now..
Anjali: Shyam dont scare Chotte. Let him enjoy his wedding.
Arnav: Jeejaji is right.. And please dont think I will tolerate your ignorance towards the baby Di.

Di chuckled.

Anjali: I can very well imagine how lucky Khushi will be when she will carry your child in her womb.

Jeejaji and Di both glanced at each other and smiled for that sweetish thought about mine and Khushi's future but mt face muscles contract. I know this might not happen. Khushi might not conceive.

Arnav: We will see when that happens. As of now, you go back to your room and rest.
Anjali: Alright. I will take a nap for few minutes. You too get rest. The Haldi function is in Gupta house, lets not forget that.
Shyam: By the way how was your little outing with Khushi today?
Arnav: Great.
Anjali: ( teasingly): What did you both do?

I tried to hide the smile from my face, not letting them know how vulnerable my feelings get when they ask me anything about Khushi.

Arnav: Nothing so important.

I try to leave but Di holds my hand.

Anjali: Chotte.. This is unfair. You never share your secrets with us.. We wont be jealous of it, if thats what you think.

I know she is just teasing. She wants to take it out from me what we both did. I dont make her guess for long.

Arnav: I had taken her to the NGO first,  I wanted to show her what that place means to me. And then over lunch we discussed where she wants me to take her after marriage. Thats all.

DI and Jeejaji liked the way me and Khushi spent time today.

Arnav: Now can I go to my room? I have some office work also to finish.

They dont stop me.

***************

It's finally evening and my Haldi function has started in Gupta house. Everyone is in White costumes including me. I am wearing a White Sherwani which is perfectly fitting my muscles. This was specially designed by Di for this occassion. I am sitting with Akash and NK who are leaving no stone unturned in teasing me. Lavanya, Payal are with Khushi upstairs, assisting her to get ready. I dont know what she is wearing today and her frequent messages with the floral jewellery pics is making me all the more curious to know how that floral jewellery would look on her. It's such a strange feeling I get these days imaginging about Khushi being a part of my life in future. I just hope these feelings become more pacifying as the days passes.

Finally I get to see her. She is coming down with Buaji and Lavanya looking absolutely adorable in the white Lehnga with the floral jewellery. Just like a princess of a calm ocean. Her eyes wanders to search me and when she meets my eyes, a smile creeps on her lips as if acknowledging my unsaid compliments. She is made to sit next to me and the rituals finally start. I am the first one to get the haldi applied and then part of that same Haldi from the same bowl is applied to her too. My Di is enjoying pasting the haldi on us. She puts some on my nose too which I wipe off the next instant. So after my family, the next close relatives start applying the Haldi on us. It's quite a peaceful tradition but only if you dont have such naughty sibblings.

Anjali: Chotte.. After Haldi you both should not see each other's faces until marriage.
Arnav: I have heard that 10 times from almost everyone here. Do I look that desperate for her?
My direct question makes them laugh but Khushi looks troubled for getting such a flirty comment from me.
Shyam: Let us see how genuinely you stick to your words Saale Sahab. It is not that easy to follow it.
Arnav: We will see.
Anjali: Okay okay. Enough of teasing now. You both should get showered.
Arnav ( Surprised): HERE?
Anjali: And where? You cant sit in the car like this and get home for shower. I have got your clothes..

Me and kHushi see each other and then both get up from the floor. Khushi is first taken away by Di and Buaji whereas I am still waiting for my turn to come. Not that there are any less bathrooms in this house. It's just again a ritual I suppose that the would be bride showers first. Meanwhile I get a call and I walk away from the crowd to answer it.

*****************

I finish my call and walking back downstairs when I pass through the same corridor where Khushi's room is located. I stop seeing the door open and see Khushi standing alone inside. I cant hold myself from entering the room. But I am decent enough to still knock once.

Arnav: (knocking): Hi..

Khushi jerks.. SHe hadnt expected me to be here..

Khushi: Arnav?

I get inside..
Arnav: Where is Di and Buaji?
Khushi: Buaji was called by some relative and Di went down to get something.
I nod and think of leaving the room but I suddenly see her hissing sound as she moves her finger towards her eyes and try to wipe off the discomfort she is feeling in her eye at the moment.
Arnav: What happened? (I walk in towards her)
Khushi ( rubbing her eye): Something is pricking,,

I hold her hand stopping her from rubbing the eye any longer.

Arnav: SShh.. wait.. wait... Let me have a look.

She stops her gestures and allows me to treat her. I look in her eye, blow some air. I see whats pricking her so much. Its the dried  haldi  particle which is hiding at the corner of her eye. I gently take it out. And all this while she is tightly holding my arm. When I am done, I show her the particle which was disturbing her and then throw it off. She is still holding my arm..

Khushi: Liar..
Arnav: Excuse me?
Khushi: You said you arent desperate to see me.. What's this then?

I understand what she is pointing at. I pull her little more close to me and the expressions on her face is worth admiring. she is scared that we might get caught.. She is also curious to know why I pulled her and above all she is nervous because this is the first time I am actually imposing my right on her.

Khushi: Arnav? Koi.. dekh lega.. ( Someone might see us )
Arnav: You should be worried about me seeing you first..
Khushi didnt understand..
Arnav: We arent supposed to see each other's face after the Haldi.  Remember?
Khushi then realises that and immediately hides her face in her palm.

Khushi: Go..
Arnav: No.. DO you actually believe that?
Khushi (still hiding her face): I dont want anything to go wrong after this Arnav.. Please go.. Before anyone sees us..

I dont upset her. But I have to tell her something before I leave. I remove her palms covering her face. She looks scared at me.

Arnav: Nothing is ever going to go wrong after this. Trust me.

She weakly smiles and wraps her arms around my neck to embrace me. I take her with equal passion. We stay together like that for few more seconds and then I rush out hearing Buaji's voice who was probably coming back in Khushi's room.

*******************

Anjali walks in Khushi's room to see if she had finished her shower. Buaji was with Khushi too drying her hair.

Anjali: Aree wash Khushi you are glowing more today.
Khushi blushed whereas Buaji gigled at that comment.

Buaji: Anjali .. What about my son in law??
Anjali ( sitting next to Khushi): He is glowing since he met Khushi..
Khushi: Di.. ?? ( she gestured Anjali to stop teasing her so much)
Buaji: Sanka Devi.. You and Arnav will have to bear such teases for few more days. Enjoy it while your marriage is new. Who asks after months have passed?
Anjali: Absolutely right Buaji.
Buaji was again called by the guest and she excused from there. Anjali helped Khushi drying her hair.
Khushi: I will do it di..
Anjali: No.. Let me pamper my Chotte's wife. Please
Khushi sighed and allowed her do so..
Anjali: Tomorrows lehnga and jewellery are packed?
Khushi: Haan di. The reception dress is still in the closet. I will have to pack that too. May be after everyone is off.
Anjali: You shouldn't forget. Wait I will do it now. Which bag should it be packed??

Khushi gestured her the bag and then took the drier from Anjali's hand to dry her hair while Anjali opened the closet. She was just looking for the lehnga and while pulling it out, a small envelope also fell down. The paper in this envelope came out. Anjali leaned to pick the envelope and the paper but the moment she saw the gynaecologist name on the envelope and Khushi's name as the patient she couldn't stop herself from reading its contents. Her eyes widened when she finished reading it and the paper fell down on her feet again as she was in shock.

"You Cant Conceive?", Anjali asked nervously looking at Khushi who immediately became alarmed seeing the envelope which had fallen at Anjali's feet..

_________________________________________________________________________________

Part 22

"You Cant Conceive?", Anjali asked nervously looking at Khushi who immediately became alarmed seeing the envelope which had fallen at Anjali's feet.. She got up from the chair giving a blank expression to her.

Anjali: Bolo Khushi.. What is this? This report.. It says you might not conceive a child ever.. Is.. is that true?

This is what Khushi was always afraid of. The reactions from Arnav's family had already been predicted by her and God knows the truth that she didnt wish to hide it ever from them.

Khushi: Di.. woh.. ( her eyes became moist)
Anjali: I want one word reply Khushi. Is this true?
Khushi gulped. She feared what would be ANjali's next reactions if she confirms. But now that the cat was out of the box, she wont lie either.

Khushi: Yes.. Its true.

Anjali felt dizzy. She was going to stumble while stepping back but Khushi caught her at the right time.

Khushi: Di..
Anjali shrugged off Khushi's arm.
Anjali: Does.. does Chotte know this?
Khushi weakly noded in affirmation shocking Anjali all the more.
Khushi: We wanted to tell you this but..
Anjali (gestured her to stop): Dont.. dont give me excuses now.. Please..

Anjali took some seconds to realise what she had to do next. Khushi was so much disturbed. She didnt know what would happen now that the truth is out? Will the Raizada family still accept her ? Will they stop this marriage? No.. If this marriage stops, she might not be able to bear the pain of losing Arnav. Anjali dialed Arnav and asked him to come to Khushi's room immediately. Though Arnav tried asking her over the phone why he was been called so urgently, she didnt respond. She wanted to speak to him face to face.

*****************

I entered Khushi's bedroom having no idea what had happened here exactly. I was just hoping Di would have called me for some more ritual but when I enter and see Khushi weeping while my Di standing much away from her holding some envelope in her hand, I realised the situation was not something I had expected. Khushi sees me coming inside and her eyes speak volumes about her condition. I first reach Di whom I presume to be the cause of tears in my Khushi's eyes.

Arnav: DI? What's going on? ( I ask with much compassion)

She makes me hold the envelope to read and the moment I read the Gynacologist's name over it, I understand what has happened.

Anjali: How could you Chotte? You and Khushi hide such a crucial fact from all of us?

I totally understand her concern.

Arnav: It was my decision Di.. Khushi wanted to tell.
Anjali: (gulped seeing no much worries on Arnav's face): Look Arnav.. I dont mean to hurt anyone here, but let me make myself very clear. This family is expecting a lot from your second marriage. We couldnt make justice earlier with yours and Sonia's relationship but with this wedding, we have a hope that everything will finally fall in place.
Arnav: ( interrupting): It will Di. Everything is already falling in place. DOnt you see the difference in me? I was disinterested in this marriage earlier but look at me now. I want it happen. I want Khushi to be my wife.
Anjali: She will just not be your wife, she will be the bahu of our family too.
Arnav: You doubt her capabilities Di?
Anjali: No.. I dont.. But.. this.. ( she pointed at the envelope).. this will affect all of us in long run. As a woman, I can understand what it means when people keep asking you why arent you conceiving even after so many years of marriage.. That pain is horrible Arnav. I was still lucky enough to get pregnant but Khushi?
Arnav: Getting pregnant is not everything Di.. At least not to me..

Di had understood I was being adamant in marrying Khushi now.

Anjali: You might not, but we have a lot of hopes from you and Khushi as a couple Chotte..
Arnav: Di.. why are you making this a big issue? And its not the end of the world for us.. This report says, she MIGHT not conceive. But it's not 100% confirmed right? Who knows some luck can favour us later? I dont want to lose a life partner like her only because she cannot give birth to my child.

ANjali sighed in disappointment..

Anjali: Is this your final decision ? (she asks in a heavy tone)
Arnav: Obviously.
Anjali: Theek hai.. I will have to tell this to the family too. I cant hide it.

I clench my jaw.

Arnav: Do as you want. But no one is going to change my mind of marrying Khushi. Make them aware of it too.

Di was stunned to see how strongly I was enforcing my resolve to marry Khushi. I know DI is hurt. So I hold her arms in mine and meet her eyes.

Arnav:  When I wasnt ready for a relationship again, you people brought Khushi in my life. And now, when I have already dreamt a future with her, if you want me to stop , I wont Di. Khushi will be my wife. And no one can change that decision of mine.

I hope that statement makes her realise my feelings for Khushi and this marriage. She takes a deep breathe and then leaves the room with the letter. The moment she is gone, I turn to Khushi who is not even meeting my eyes now. She is standing at the corner of the room, looking outside the window while trying to control her weeps. I go there and clutch her shoulders from behind.

Arnav: Stop Crying..

The moment she feels my touch, she turns around and hugs me tight, weeping on my chest. I can feel her pain. I know she is hurt because somewhere DI's questions, expectations have started building doubts in her mind about our future.. I hug her back with the same intensity, caressing her back and hair.

Arnav: It's just a tough phase for us.. It will pass..
Khushi ( sobbing and murmuring): It wont.. it will never pass Arnav.. This truth will always haunt us..

I pull her back from the hug and cup her face to meet her eyes.

Arnav: You trust me?
Without a doubt she nods a Yes and I smile at her.
Arnav: Thats it then.. I will make things work even after all these impossibilities. Understood?
Khushi : But the family?
Arnav: They will accept this fact just like we both have..
Khushi: What if .. they.. cancel..
Arnav ( Interrupted): THE WEDDING IS HAPPENING KHUSHI.. ( I say that aloud to prove I am going to make it happen no matter what the family wants from us)

She feels the intensity in my words and hugs me back. I caress her hair while thinking what might be happening downstairs now that Di would have told them everything?

*****************

We were all downstairs at the Living room, after the guests left the house. Shashi Uncle was in a shock just like others. But being the Bride's father, he felt guilty to know his daughter hide such an important truth from everyone. Khushi is standing next to Buaji who is holding her hand, caressing her slowly to lower her pain. Di has unfolded the truth to everyone. I am waiting for the questions to be get shooted from my family.

Nani: I dont know what to say.. This is such a blow to all our expectations and happiness. Khushi should have told us about it earlier.
Arnav: She didnt even wanted me to know it. She cared for us, hence she thought of quietly stopping the marriage. She even denied marrying me faking some reason. I could sense she was hiding something from me. It was a coincidence that she had consulted the same Doctor who is dealing with Di's pregnancy. So through her I found out about Khushi's medical condition related to her future conceiving issues. I confronted to Khushi about it and she again expressed her unwillingness in spoiling our hopes.

I gulp remembering that day when Khushi and I had argued over this matter.

Arnav: I know having a baby is a huge requirement from every couple .. But not on the cost of the spoiling the beautiful bond between them.. For me having a life partner is more important than a baby.
Anjali ( intervened): This is your opinion today Chotte. It might not be the same in future. What will you do then?
Arnav: We can adopt. !!

That statement again was a huge blow to the family. Khushi was blank.. These people here were discussing about her incapability of becoming a mother when the marriage was just few hours later? ?

Nani: Enough of this discussion now. We are hurting Khushi's sentiments.

Nani came to khushi and cupped her face..

Nani: Whatever the future beholds for us, we will face it together. I respect Chotte's decision of marrying you.

Nani's go ahead for the marriage was much needed assurance for both of us. I smile seeing Khushi who immediately hugs Nani and weeps again. Buaji is also happy that the head of the family gave her agreement for this wedding to happen. But Di was still unsure. She didnt seem to be convinced. But she kept the envelope aside and  stood silent. I could see a compassion in everyone's eyes for Khushi which is what I Never wanted.  I want them to look at her with a pride but I think this is not going to happen until my family sees how much happy we both are even without having our own child, if she doesnt conceive. I just hope as the days pass, my family accepts Khushi the same way they did initially.

After few more minutes, Shashi Uncle joined his palms looking nervously at me. His eyes were moist.  I instantly hold his wrists not to let him plead.

Arnav: Uncle?? 
Shashi: Sorry Arnav.. I apologise for all of this.
 Arnav: Uncle why are you apologising??
 Shashi: When I fixed this marriage, I had full faith on you to be a good husband to my daughter. Everyone else from my family side asked me why I chose a widower for my daughter? She could have got any better man. Today, I can proudly show them how right I was Arnav. It's hard to accept a woman who might not give the family a heir. You didnt even take few minutes to accept Khushi with this flaw. How will I ever return this favour of yours??

I become very emotional just like him and embrace Uncle tight. Finally I am happy that even after this hurtful truth, my family and Khushi's father is not calling off the wedding. NK comes there and breaks this emotional moment.

NK: Nannav.. mere bhai... Cheer up.. It's all sorted now. Tomorrow is the wedding and we have just few more hours to prepare everything. And by the way Di.. ( he walks to Anjali Di).. Shouldnt the would be bride and groom not see each other after the Haldi is done? They arent following that.. see..

Di looks at me and passes a weak smile.

Nani: (wiping her tears) You are right Nandakishore.. They are not allowed to see each other until the wedding. We should be leaving back to Shantivan. Chalo.. Shashi.. You take rest and dont forget this is last night you have with your daughter. From tomorrow she will be Raizada family's bahu. ( she chuckled)
 Lavanya: ( hugging Khushi from the side): And Uncle .. you will have to take our appointment to meet my Bhabhi then.. ( she gigled almost bringing a smile on Khushi's lips too )

The family starts dispersing slowly towards the parking, Shashi Uncle and Buaji follows them. Di comes to me and touches my cheeks.

Anjali: Happy??
 Arnav: Are you ??

Di doesnt react much positively. I can see she is faking that smile.

Anjali: Lets go ..

She then turns to Khushi and touches her face too.

Anjali: Take some rest. Good night..
 Khushi: Good night Di.

Khushi hugs Di but Di doesnt hug her back. I dont like it but I know very soon Di will start accepting the fact and free her heart forever from this pain. Me and Khushi are the last ones to be in the living room. I reach her and wipe the drop of tear from the corner of her eye. She takes a deep breathe shutting her eyes tight. I linger my finger on her cheek a bit longer until I see her eyes open and looking at me again.

Arnav: tum theek ho??( you alright??)

Khushi nods gently and tries to wipe the haldi stain from my Kurta. She possessively clutches my kurta with both her hands and comes closer to me still not breaking our eye lock.

Khushi: Mind you Mr Arnav Singh Raizada, you will need a lot of patience to handle the questions from people in future.. Kar paaoge?? ( would you be able to do it?

I sigh in relief and tuck her hair strand behind the ear.

Arnav: Just be mine.. I will handle everything.
 Khushi: Hum toh aap hi ke hain ( I am already yours )

She says that very lovingly increasing my passion for her all the more. I step towards her and she steps back raising her eye brow. Buaji calls my from outside loudly. I realise the family is waiting for me. I sigh in frustration looking at Khushi who chuckles and pushes me towards the door.

Arnav: Bye.. .

She waves her hand and I keeping a control over my feelings, walk out hurriedly.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Part 23

Khushi had leaned her head on her father's shoulder. They were continuing the same discussion which the Raizada's had started knowing about Khushi's forecasted inability to bore a child in future.

Shashi: Arnav really has a big heart. He handled everything so well. I was afraid this wedding might get cancelled. But Arnav didnt lose his calm and hope. He stood by us in thick and thin.
Khushi: Hmmm. ( tears rolled down her eyes)
Shashi realised his daughter's state of mind. He pulled her face up and wiped her tears.

Shashi: Dont you worry about the future Khushi. God is with us. He will not make you suffer for something you never did.
Khushi gulped.
Khushi: But this is all my fault Paapa. I am responsible for my own motherhood incapability.
Shashi ( stunned): What? What do you mean?
Khushi: This is all because of the drugs I was earlier addicted to. They have left their impact on my body depreiving me of my future motherhood.

Shashi was stunned.

Shashi: DRUGS?? You were addicted to Drugs? Was that Nikhil responsible for this? ( he angrily asked)
Khushi couldnt control her tears. She told her father everything what had happened, the same stuff which she had already confessed to Arnav, right from her acquaintance with Nikhil over the Drug matter and then how after she realised her mistake, she had to join a Rehab and get rid of this addiction. Shashi felt poor for his own child. So all these times when she used to go to Rehab , he had spied on her thinking she was hidingly meeting Nikhil again.

Khushi: I am sorry Paapa.. I really didnt realise when I got addicted to this, I .. I was just going with the flow until I could see the real picture..
Shashi took her in his embrace.

Shashi: How badly you screwed yourself those days Khushi. It is so hard to digest that my daughter had done all this in her past. But there is no point in remorsing over it. Those days are gone. You are starting a new life from tomorrow, and that too with a Partner like Arnav. I am sure he will take care of every odds , if you face any, in the future..

Khushi kept hugging her father for some more time and then he dispersed to his room as there was a lot more efforts he had to put the next day in the wedding preperations. Khushi saw the clock, it was 11:30 pm. She couldnt control herself from dialing Arnav. He too wasnt sleeping actually. He received her call in no time.

Arnav: Hello..
Khushi: Hi...
Arnav: Didnt sleep?
Khushi: Felt like talking to you  ( she wiped her tears)
Arnav: Dont think much Khushi.. It's over..
Khushi: Hmm.. How is Di ?
Arnav (gulped): Why did you ask DI specifically?
Khushi: I felt she is not happy and convinced yet Arnav.
Arnav: I know.. She wanted the best this time for me.. She can see you are the best thing happened to me this time but she doesnt want to acknowledge it only because of one damn report.
Khushi: She is not totally wrong..
Arnav: Lets not judge anyone right now. Leave it.  We shall make her understand after the marriage. You should sleep now. We have our wedding tomorrow.
Khushi: Same applies to you too ...( she replied with a smile)
Arnav (leaning back on the cushion of my bed):  I was half sleeping.. ( I tried to divert the topic)
Khushi: Half-Sleeping? What does that imply?
Arnav: That means dreaming with my eyes open..
Khushi chuckled. All her pain was forgotten.

Khushi: What were you dreaming? If I may ask..
Arnav: Come here tomorrow, I will show you that in real!

There was a total pause between them as Khushi tried to understand that dream was nothing but my plans for our wedding night.. Something bubbled inside her making Khushi all nervous and excited at the same time.

Arnav: You look gorgeous when your cheeks turn red.

Khushi instantly touched her cheeks.

Khushi: Stop teasing me..
I sighed closing my eyes trying to come back to our present situation and stop dreaming such intenseful stuffs about his and Khushi married life at this hour..

Khushi: You were right.. We should sleep now, or else we might only delay the next morning to start.. and your so called dream cannot be delayed too.  (She hold her smile)
Arnav: (Inhaling deep): I love you. .

Khushi was speechless. Did he .. did he just say that? All these days since they met and started sharing this lovely bond, they never even said those 3 magical words and now.. without even getting any hint from him , he just confessed that to her?

Arnav: ( realising she was silent): I wanted to say that tomorrow night.. But .. Couldnt hold those thoughts for long.

She gulped. She felt her body heating up already.

Arnav: Khushi?? ( he huskily voiced out her name)

She was so much stuck in those three words he just confessed.

Arnav: (smirking): Wont you say anything on that?
Khushi: uhh..
Arnav: I know your reply already.. Just want to hear it in your voice..
Khushi: (blushing): I am not impatient like you. I can hold my feelings until tomorrow night..
Arnav: (little unhappy): Dont!! Say that now or else I wont get proper sleep. Do you wany your husband to look sleepy and dull during the rituals?

HUSBAND!! Thats whats he termed himself .. Aww..!

Khushi: No excuses will work Arnav.. Just go to sleep . Good night..
Arnav: Okay wait..  ( he interrupted before she cuts the call)
Khushi: Ab kya?
Arnav: Give me something for the blissful night at least..
Khushi: Something? Like?
Arnav: A goodnight kiss? ( he showed no shame to ask)

Khushi's cheeks turned more redder as she heard that.. She gasped and he could sense that over the phone...

Arnav: Come on.. I am no stranger.
Khushi: Not my husband either. ( she teased back)
Arnav: Stop fussing.. I am not asking you to come here and kiss. It's over a phone call. You wont even be seeing me..

Khushi wanted to laugh hard..

Khushi: I had heard it right.. Men get too desperate as their wedding nears.
Arnav: Women dont? ( he asked on purpose)
Khushi: They do.. Ofcourse they do get desperate.. but the wedding though.. Bye.. Good night ( she chuckled and disconnected the call)

She lied on the bed holding the mobile phone to her heart blushing the whole time.. Her phone beeped. It was Arnav's message. .

"Cheater. You deserve a punishment for pushing my feelings away so strongly"

Khushi smiled hard and started responding back.

"I will make it up to you tomorrow"

She didnt wanted to type this or commit anything so huge but she did it and waited desperately for his response.. Her Phone beeped again.

"I am WAITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "

She felt so much heat within her reading that.. To keep his heart  she sent a Kissing emoticon back to him. His response came again shortly.

"Thats enough for this night to pass. I can Sleep well now.. Good night"

SHe didnt respond back. Her eyes started closing finally as she drifted into a peaceful sleep.

*****************

Marriage Day Morning

It didnt look like a normal morning, obviously the chores and noises outside the room woke me up. I see the time is already 06:00am, though I am not fully active yet and still sleepy, I dont give up with that thought. I get my shower. I am very enthusiastic today. It's my wedding.. I have lived this moment even earlier, during my marriage with Sonia but the feeling is way too different when compared. That time I was nervous thinking if Sonia will be able to handle the wedding rituals happily or will she get distracted? Today no such fear exists. That time I had no expectations from Sonia as a Wife because I was very well aware of her mental instabilty. This time I am little desperate. There is no shame in accepting that feeling, isnt it? But he only similarity I see then and now is my Di's state of mind. She is disturbed just like she was that time, being unhappy of my decision. I just hope I will be able to show her this time no one will be hurt. I couldnt stop Sonia's death, but whatever days I lived with her, will be part of my good memories forever. This time I am going to control mine and Khushi's happiness never letting it die or fade away because of her incapabilities.

These feelings and thoughts should not ruin my day. It's special. I check my phone, and realise Khushi had messaged me .. It was a Picture of her Lehnga which was displayed on the bed. I text her back.

"When are you getting into it?"

She replies instantly.

"Started getting into it. LOL"

I smirk realising she had been wearing that Lehnga now. I decide to tease her a bit . I text.

"Where's that LIVE picture?"

I know she might be blushing hard at my comment. After a minute the reply comes.

"Clicked. Will show you tonight. LOL"

I feel heat rising within me. I am getting impatient.

"GRR" ( I respond back)

I know she must be laughing hard knowing my state of mind here. The door is kocked and I open it allowing my sibblings to get inside. They are carrying some deocorative items and flowers.

Arnav: What are you all doing here?
Lavanya: ASR.. We are going to decorate your room for tonight. ( she chuckles with the rest)

I stand blank for few seconds and try to hold my blush.

Arnav: Dont make it too hanky panky. Keep it simple.

I cant believe I am actually giving my opinion on how my room should look tonight. They continue teasing me and I quickly leave the room to escape from all that. But I couldnt hold myself from informing this to Khushi. I text her while getting down the stairs.

"All are decorating my room.. Correction.. OUR room."

I add a Winking emoticon just to highlight my present mood.  I reach the Living room. There is so much commotion here. All the elders are busy in some or the other thing having no time for the Dulha (Groom).. Which is me.. !! My phone beeps. It's Khushi's message. She has just replied a "Blushing Emoticon". That makes me blush too. I hold my uncommon facial expressions and look for Di around.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Part 24

I keep looking for Di in the living room and still unable to trace her. Jeejaji is passing by, he is on some call, probably the caterers asking them if everything will be ready on time at the Wedding Hall. I stop him.

 Arnav: Jeejaji.. Where is di?

 Jeejaji winds up his call and then disconnects it. Seems he has something more to tell me.

 SHyam: My Daadi has arrived.

 Did I hear the right statement? The confusion on my face is read by Jeejaji too. He places an arm on my shoulder.

 Shyam: Dont know what made her attend this wedding. I remember how she had denied coming here when me and Anjali had personally been there to give her invitation card.
 Arnav: Strange!! We would have arranged a car had she told us before.
 Shyam: Dont bother now. She is here in Anjali's room.
 Arnav: Why?

 I know asking that is stupid. But somehow I am getting a negative vibe now. Jeejaji has no real answer to my worries at the moment.

 Arnav: Never mind. I will go and check.
 Shyam: No Saale Sahab. You should be getting ready. Stop worrying about Daadi, its your wedding today. ( he assures me nicely)
 Arnav: I will get ready in some time. Wont relax my nerves until I know why Daadi suddenly made up her mind to come here.
 Shyam: Alright. You check meanwhile I will look after the arrangements here.

 Jeejaji left and I hurried towards Di's bedroom. The door was slightly open and I could see them both arguing on some matter though I could not hear what they were talking. I step inside. Both become quiet. Di is not happy, I can say that from her expressions.

 Arnav: Whats going on here?

 Daadi looks at me with a stern expression.

 Daadi: Accha hua tum aagaye Arnav. I wanted to speak to you. (Good that you came Arnav. I wanted to speak to you)
 Arnav: (I nod at Daadi first and then turn to Di): Di is everything alright? ( I walk to Di who is little depressed. She looks at me with painful expressions).. Di?? What happened? What were you both arguing on ? (Tension is building up high in my heart)
 Daadi: We were talking about this marriage.

 I look at Daadi who is very confident of her reply.

 Arnav: What about this marriage?
 Daadi: About stopping it. ( she had no remorse .. no pain in saying this)

 I am shocked, saying that would be an understatement. But looking at the situations happening these days between this marriage and my family I am still taking this matter not very seriously.

 Arnav: Daadi do you realise what you saying? The wedding is TODAY and for God's sake why do you want it to stop?
 Daadi: How much do you love your Di Arnav?

 Now that question instead of a reply pisses me off.

 Arnav: ( gritting my teeth): What's the connection Daadi? Be clear.
 Daadi ( sighs): Fine.. Then let me talk very clearly now. I overheard your Di and Nani's talks... That Khushi cannot conceive.
 Arnav (interrups): This already has been discussed between us and sorted
 Daadi: Not sorted yet.. Do you realise your Di is pregnant.. And any woman who cannot conceive is treated as an omen if they stay any close to such pregnant woman..

 I fist my fingers..

 Arnav: This is all surperstitious..
 Daadi: For you. .But people like me still believe it. Now I know how much you dont want to think in my direction. But just remember one thing Arnav. You sister Anjali herself has got this boon of becoming a mother after years. And the Doctors have clearly told her pregnancy is complicated. There could be a possibility that this will be her only child. I have seen miscarriage happening in the past when a Woman like Khushi who cannot conceive ever has newly got rmarried to the family of a Pregnant woman. It's a bad Omen. If what I say and believe becomes true whom will you curse then? What will happen to Anjali and her baby?

 Arnav: Stop it Daadi.. Which world you living in? No one really believes in all this. It's ridiculous.
 Daadi: You might not say the same when you actually see it happening around you, if you chose to marry today.

 Di is so very confused just like me. But she is still on my side and not Jeejaji's Daadi's side yet.

 Anjali: I have explained Daadi not to worry about all this since the time she has come here. But she is so stern in her decision this time, even I am unable to convince her Chotte.

 Nani walks in the room finding our absence outside. She also hears this stuff and tries to negate Daadi's thoughts.

 Daadi: Devyani at least you believe me. Havnt you seen what happened to the Mehta's a year ago? Even their bahu was pregnant but only because of their daughter who was unmarried due to her impotency, even Mehta's bahu had to suffer a miscarriage. Everyone knows this in our society. And this is not just one incident.

 Nani became quiet. Her silence was just building Daadi's confidence in the matter and losing my hopes to get them convinced that nothing like this will ever happen in our family.

 Arnav: Firstly Khushi's report clearly mentions she CAN conceive.. There are few chances. She is not totally impotent.. And lastly no matter what people say, what superstitions you all believe in, I am not going to stop this marriage from happening.

 Nani and Di are quiet but looks like they too are in a fix about what to do next? Di clutches her stomach screaming in pain. I rush to her at once and make her sit.

Arnav: Di are you okay? what happened? Should I call the Dr?
 Anjali ( taking a deep breathe) : I am fine..

 She touched her stomach probably checking if her baby was okay or not. She was relaxed when she felt those movements inside her normal. Jeejaji comes there hearing Di's voice.

Arnav: Di you should take enough rest. Please, I am tired of warning this again and again.

Shyam: This woman will never listen to us anymore Saale Sahab. She just does what she wants . Probably her mood swings ( he tried to calm down the family by teasing Di)

 Daadi: EK minite Shyam.. Dont deviate from the actual reason why this happened with Anjali..

Everyone quiets down..

 Daadi ( looking at Arnav) : Isnt this sign enough for you to understand that marrying Khushi now is equally dangerous for your Di and her baby? What other proof you need Arnav? Or are you so much blind in that woman that you cannot see any ill things happening to your family. .

 I dont understand why she is linking all this with Khushi again. But I chose to stay quiet and calm.

Anjali: Whatever happens.. I wont disappoint you. I know how important it is for you to start a new life with Khushi..
 Daadi: (sighs teasingly): Yea.. Why not? Keeping his Di and her baby at stake..!!

 Shyam: Daadi please dont say like this. Arnav loves all of us equally. Dont we all want to see him happy?
 Daadi: And what about the child ? What if something happens to it? Will Arnav even like it if this happens?

 I was getting hurt in my family's debate..

 Nani: May be we can get some other way of dealing with this situation.. Where none of them is harmed..

Now that pisses me off. Daadi managed to get one supporter..

Daadi: Do we have time? In just few hours we have to get the wedding started. We can find a solution to this after we cancel this. I am not saying Arnav can never marry Khushi. I am not against his happiness. But cant he wait for few more months. Let Anjali give birth to the child and then we can again rethink of Arnav Khushi marriage.
 Arnav: Daadi it's not a joke. We have invited people, Khushi and her family might have already reached the Wedding Hall. What will we tell them? To return back? Only because you think their daughter's incapability to conceive is a Omen for Di and her baby? Her family will shatter. ( The pain for Gupta's is visible in my eyes and tone)

 Daadi: And what will happen if we lose someone amongst us? Wont we shatter Arnav?
 Arnav ( frustrated even more): Daadi why talk about something which has not happened ?

Shyam: Saale Sahab.. Please dont get hyper. And Daadi what is wrong with you? When me and Anjali dont have any problem why are you creating one?

Daadi got infuriated.

Daadi: You have started speaking the Raizada's language now Shyam. Did you forget how much I have strived for you and Sonia? We have lost Sonia but I cannot afford to lose you and Anjali now. I just care for yours and Anjali's baby. Is that wrong?
Shyam: Pointing a woman responsible for such superstitious beliefs is wrong. This marriage is way beyond anyone's interference now. I am with Saale Sahab. And this marriage is happening .I can take care of my Wife and my Saale Sahab's personal life, both.

Daadi (angrily): It was my mistake to come here. I just wanted to warn you Shyam. But if you think you can handle all this , then its better I leave. Tomorrow dont repent that you were not warned of the omen by me.

She turned around to leave but DI being a good Daughter in law, stopped her.

Anjali: Daadi. Please attend the wedding. If you leave like this, no one among us will like it.
Daadi: This house and the family here have always influenced your and Shyam's decisions Anjali. I dont want to stay here and get influenced too. I should go. You take care of yourself and the baby.

She kissed Di's forehead and left again. I had nothing to say further. I was so very upset with the debate that happened here on my marriage day because of my jeejaji's daadi.  I leave the room too.

 ****************

It's been 1 hour that I have locked myself in the bedroom, alone, trying to understand why all this was happening with me and Khushi till the last stage of our wedding preps? Having a family have always been a boon to me. They have stood beside me in times of thick and thin just like they did today. Jeejaji didnt bother what his Daadi was concerned about. He wants my marriage to happen. Daadi was always like this, right from the beginning. Thats why the family here and her ideas never matched up. So even though Jeejaji and Sonia moved in this house after marriage, Daadi had chose to stay in the Ashram where to our dismay she had lot many her age people who believed like her. It was obvious she was fed with all these wrong beliefs through them. But never in my life had I thought she would use her beliefs to end my incoming happiness. Was Daadi insecured that her Grandson in law, me, who was earlier married to Sonia was indulging in second marriage with other woman?

I see a message beeping on my phone again. Its from Khushi.

"Have reached the Wedding Hall. The Mandap is awaiting us Arnav.. Jaldi aao"

The way she wrote that "Jaldi aao" weakens my heart. I am not going to disappoint her. There is a knock at the door, I compose myself and open the door.

Anjali: Chotte, you should be getting ready. Shashi Uncle called up. They have reached.

I dont give a good expression on my face. She understands it and touches my cheek.

Anjali: Its fine. Dont think much about Daadi now. Everyone is with you and Khushi.
Arnav: ( my eyes turn moist): Are we really taking a risk Di?
Anjali (snaps back): Stop saying that. We all know beleiveing all this is not our cup of tea. And if God favours, very soon we will see you and Khushi blessed with a child which will then stop the working mouths of everyone around.

Like I said, my family was really a boon to me. I hug her gently. She caresses my back and then orders me to change my mood and start getting ready. In next 30 minutes we will have to start for the Wedding hall.

Arnav: What about Daadi?
Anjali: Shyam has asked the Driver to drop her back to Ashram. Dont worry, her absence wont matter much.

I finally smile feeling little better talking to Di about this issue. I have a lot to talk to Khushi too once the wedding is done, about what happened here. But no.. I shouldnt be telling her. She might feel bad to know Daadi's thoughts. Khushi deserves happiness and I will leave no stone unturned to provide her that.

_________________________________________________________________________________


Part 25

The Baraat reaches the Mandap where the Wedding is supposed to take place. Everyone from the Gupta's side is at the Entrance to welcome me. I get down from the Car in my Maroon Sherwani. I am hell nervous. All of this has been a part of my life even before. My first marriage memories will not fade away so easily. Today, everything looked fine until Jeejaji's daadi made her entry and spoiled everything by her orthodox believes. And that lead me to go back to my old memories with Sonia. I feel terrible that she is no more a part of my life.

Buaji circles the Puja thali towards me. I hear Khushi's cousins gigles. Some of them are even teasing me, asking Buaji to pinch my nose as a part of their tradition. Why am I not enjoying it? Pinching nose was something Sonia liked to do even.

[ "Your nose.. ( she gigled).. Its like a Jet plane.." Sonia showed the Paper plane she had made while I was busy typing a letter to my Client. "It's pointed upwards.." ( she added and tried to touch my nose).

"Sonia.. Dont .. I have work to do"

She frowned and then folded her arms looking the other side. She always obeyed me like she obeyed her Brother Shyam. I realise her cheeks blowing with anger. I dont like to see her that way. Her mind was like a 8 year old kid who only needed love and attention. I stop typing and hold her hands. She struggles but I manage to make her sit next to me on the Recliner.

"What about your nose?", I ask teasingly

She touches her nose and then mine to understand the similarities and the difference.

"My nose?", she politely questions back.
"Hmm", I move her hair behind the ear as they were disturbing her vision. I usually tied her hair because that was something she never did herself. Today in my work pressure, I didnt get time to pay attention to her.
"What is my nose like?"
Her innocent question makes me smile and lovingly tap her nose once.
"Your nose is like a Igloo.. You know what a Snow Igloo looks like, dont you?", I ask.

She nods a yes and I continue.

"It's just that this Igloo ( I tap her nose again).. has two doors.. "

She realises by the door meant her two nostrils and starts laughing aloud.. I like the way she laughs heartily. Makes me feel contended for keeping her happy. She then pinches my nose and hugs me tight. ]

I come out of my stance when Buaji actually pinches my nose and then asks me to get inside the Wedding hall. Di is just beside me. There are photo's being clicked. There are people running around to ensure all the preperations are made and nothing gets delayed. What was I thinking? I should be more focussed today on my second marriage .. my would be wife .. Khushi. I dont want her to read the dull expressions on my face and get any wrong signals that I wasnt happy with the present situations. I take a deep breathe and then walk ahead.

After almost 30 minutes I see Khushi coming down dressed in the Wedding Lehnga she earlier sent me a picture of. She looks stunning in it. My sibblings praise her beauty, some even push my shoulder teasingly. I have so much right now going on in my mind. I try to keep calm and when she stands before me, I smile at her. She is too shy to smile back. She keeps her head lowered and the rituals start..

The chanting of Mantras from the Priest reminds me how carefree Sonia was during our marriage. She was laughing at the Priest thinking he was talking some foreign language. I had to practically hold Sonia's hand and gesture her to be quiet. To that , She had whispered in my ears.

["Is he talking to us?"

That statement had made me smile too but I controlled it.

"Sonia, he is elder to us, isnt he? If you laugh on his face, he will feel bad"
"Then ask him to talk like we do. Why is he throwing rice on us? Should I throw the rice grains back on him?"
"Noo..", I stop her before she could take a handful of rice grains from the basket which was kept for the rituals purpose.
She could read I wasnt liking it. So in turn she took few rice grains and showered upon herself and then on me happily. For her all this was just a play.. ]

I feel Khushi's arm placed on mine. Her fingers wrapping gently with my fingers . No one could see that. I turn my head to see her. She is sitting next to me and her eyes questioning me where am I lost. I gulp and plainly nod to her that everything is fine. SHe doesnt take it seriously. She is already guessing I am not very comfortable right now. Why am I doing this? I should concentrate on this wedding.. rather than missing Sonia so much. Khushi was right next to me.How would she feel if she comes to know what I am thinking about?

I take a deep breathe and the Priest asks me to apply the sindoor to Khushi. Now... While doing this.. I am not going to think of anyone else.. I want Khushi to feel I am with her today.. I take the pinch of Sindoor and apply it on her forehead. Followed by this is the Mangalsutra which I tie on her neck. We are been asked to get up and complete the 7 pheras before the Holy Fire. Now that "FIRE" reminds me of something more drastic and terrifying incident of my life. I get up with Khushi and even start taking the Phera's but each time I look at the Holy Fire , my mind is pushed to that memory when Sonia had burnt herself alive. It was so dreadful. I could not imagine I had actually seen my SOnia's flesh burning and still couldnt do anything to save her. I was losing her right in front of me, I could hear her screams, I could feel her pain but even after being her husband I could not save her life. Wish she was alive.. I wish she had never did that mistake.. I wish.. Tears cloud my vision and I feel myself stopping while taking the Phera's. This was so not good. We have already taken 4 Phera's and for the next 3, Khushi is made to walk before me. I regain the control of my mind. I know she is watching me now with a questioned look. She is unhappy seeing me so much stressed. Probably she had realised what was bothering me . I try to show her I was okay and we keep completing the Phera's until finally the Priest declares us husband and wife.

****************

We didnt had a reception party on the wedding day. It was scheduled after 2 days to give my family more time to arrange everything. So after the wedding was done, the Bidaai followed shortly. I was normal now but not very interactive. Di thought I was bothered for Daadi's words. Jeejaji was little missing from the crowd at times. He probably was going through the same, I was. He was missing his sister Sonia too today. Shashi Uncle helps Khushi to get in the car and then he hugs me. I can understand what he was going through. All the time this man has kept worrying for his daughter's future and today when she was seeing her finally settled down his happiness and his sudden lonliness was both torturing him. I then get inside the car. Akash is sitting ahead with the driver and the rest of my family members are in  the other car.

Khushi wipes her tears and then looks at me.

Khushi: Aap theek ho?

I feel some strength when she asks me that. I have someone mine who knows my pain, wants to share my pain too.

Arnav: I felt difficult to concentrate.. ( I dont lie to her. I want to be open and clear about my thoughts.)
Khushi: During the rituals ?( she asked back)
Arnav: Hmm..

She feels hurt. Probably after our morning teaseful messages she hadnt expected this level of mood change from my side. She was right to think so. Thats because she has no idea what happened in our house after. Daadi's sudden entry swinged everything. Though Daadi couldnt manage to change my decision of marrying Khushi, her interference was successful in diverting my thoughts and miss Sonia all the more.

We reached the house. There was no change in the welcome of the new bride. My family had enthusiastically participated in it. Even Khushi felt warmth in that welcome. After circling the Puja thali and after pushing the Rice Kalash by Khushi, we both stepped in. We had few of our relatives at home who were desperate to meet the new bride and talk to her. So Di took Khushi away. I was just trying to be normal again, I knew its hard for me to come out of one emotional form to other so easily. Thats why I almost took 2 years in breaking myself from Sonia's memories after her sudden death. I was so cold to everyone after Sonia. I was mentally so much weak. It was only time which had changed me to some extent and later that responsibility was taken by Khushi's sudden entry in my life. It was only after Khushi came that things started falling back in place for me. I should be thankful for her. And what did I do? I hurt her today.. I see Khushi talking to some of the relatives and she is not at all looking cool. She is upset only because of me. I can sense she is disturbed due to my sudden coldness towards her. Damn you Arnav Singh Raizada. You spoiled your marriage day.. But the night is yet to follow and I wont let it slip from my hands. I want Khushi to know how much I actually love her now.

**************

It's night and the family are still partying down, emjoying our wedding, especially the youngsters. The relatives have left and its just the family now who is at home. Nani asks Di to leave Khushi in my room. I am with Akash and Jeejaji.

Akash : So.. finally Bhai.. Time for a Goooooood night..

I pass a weak smile staring at Khushi who has no idea I was watching her. Jeejaji patted my shoulder to get back my attention.

Shyam: Khushi has a lot of hopes from you which obviously you have never failed to fulfil. So just dont think anything about what happend in past, what problems came up till you reached the Mandap. Forget everything and start a healthy future. Alright?

I nod. I know these lines means a lot to me. He gives me a hug and walks with me to the bedroom where Di and Khushi must have already reached.

_________________________________________________________________________________



Part 26

I reach the bedroom door and Jeejaji stops with me. Di meanwhile has seated Khushi om the bed and she comes out smiling at me.

Anjali: Good night..
She touches my cheeks and smiles again.

Anjali: Forget everything that happened today and enjoy this moment. You have married to Khushi Chotte.. Against all odds. Its time both you and her rejoice your togetherness now.

I nod gently because that is what even I have planned to do despite of the little pain of Sonia's memories still haunting my heart somewhere. I kiss her hand and then ask di to rest too as she has really spent a lot of effort in preparing for this entire day and celebration. They both leave and I enter the room locking it from inside. I know she is nervous neither she is looking at me. I sit next to her. She gets up. Now that surprises me. I stare at her as she tries not to meet my eyes.

Arnav: What happened? Why did you get up??
Khushi: ( showing little hesitation): To change.

I am stuck what to think about it. She was planning to change her wedding Lehnga on our wedding night? That same dress we were teasing each other with on messages today morning? May be she has a reason for behaving like this. I get up and walk to her as she fiddles with her packed bags in my room.

Arnav: Naraaz ho? ( You upset?)

She doesnt speak at all. She keeps looking for some decent clothes to wear tonight. I literally have to snatch the night dress from her hand and make Khushi turn around and look at me. She keeps her gaze as low as possible. I raise her chin up.

Arnav: I didnt intend to spoil this day, it happened.
She pushes my finger from her chin away.
Khushi: Will you be saying this everytime hereon?

I didnt understand what she meant. May be I do, but I have to hear it from her clearly.
Arnav: What does that mean?

She takes a deep breathe. Probably she was building up all of these thoughts, wanting to share it with me since long.

Khushi: Sonia cannot be forgotten, I dont want you to forget her either. You have always kept that woman  and her memories very close in your heart, locking it from anyone's understanding. Arnav you know, I have gone out of my usual way to accept this fact and show my patience towards all of this. I am not complaining, its just that apart from being your lover and wife, I am also a woman. And its basic tendency to be deeply hurt seeing your groom still walking the lane of his first marriage, even when his new bride is just beside him. I can show control on my feelings but upto a level. I had never expected you to be so ignorant towards our marriage rituals.

I can see how hurt she was. I am not going to lead her in any kind of trouble because of my behaviour. I make her sit on the bed which she does, and I sit next to her, holding both her hands in mine.

Arnav: I hadnt expected this either. But whatever happened today morning in the house made me so vulnerable that I couldnt hold myself from remembering Sonia.

Khushi looks surprisingly at me.

Arnav: Jeejaji's Daadi had come today. SHe got to know about your conceiving issues and she came running here to stop this marriage.

Khushi is totally shocked by this revelation.

Arnav: She started showering her orthordox beliefs on the family. Since Di is pregnant she worries if you both stay together in the same house, it shouldnt harm the baby.
Khushi( instantly and little angrily): WHAT?
Arnav: You and I know its all nonsense but its hard to explain Daadi. So she created this mess and muddle in the family's mind and it took me a while to sort it out.
Khushi's eyes became moist.

Khushi: One more added in the list of people against our wedding.

I can feel the pain in her voice. I cup her face.

Arnav: Doesnt matter if this list is endless. We are together.. Humesha!! ( I stress on the last word )

Khushi gives me a tight hug, forgetting all the pain she just underwent today. I dont delay to hug her back. We stay like that for few more minutes and then she asks me the next question,

Khushi: Should I .. stay with Paapa until the baby is born?

I am shocked. I pull back from the hug and look angrily at her.

Arnav: How could you even think like that?
Khushi: It's just a suggestion Arnav. I know we both never believe in all this but some people related to you.. do. Any single mishap and they will corelate it with my conceiving problems. I can ignore all of that but not the ones which can lead Di and her baby in trouble.

She thinks so much for me and my family. I appreciate that but not her suggestions.

Arnav: You want me to push myself back to that dark world of lonliness? ( my tone is serious)
Khushi: Arnav no.. I meant..
Arnav (interrupts): Do you even realise what my life was after Sonia's death? (Khushi stops convincing me to hear out what I have to say. Probably this will also clear my mind and help me overcome the grief.) The images of her burnt body kept haunting me for infinite nights those 2 years. I .. felt like .. I was the reason for her death.. If I had been more attentive to her, she might never have done this. Khushi... Sonia was not just my wife, she was my little friend.. my little child too who demanded every little thing from me like a kid demands to her father. Her sudden death made me lose not one relationship but many. I felt stranded.. I had nothing else to do than reminiscing her memories. Watching her pictures, talking to her toys, caressing her disowned clothes day and night became my only activities for months. Everyone advised me to come out of that grief. No one actually showed me the way. How was I suppose to tackle with it? 3 months after her death, I decided to join my office again and when even that couldnt satisfy my grief and lonliness, I left this country in the hope of finding some peace elsewhere. Nothing worked.. Wherever I stayed only one fact was proved again and again.. THAT I AM LONELY.. I had no one who could weave my heart again by threads of love. It's not easy to face ISOLATION from your own life, from your own loved ones and from your own needed people Khushi. .I have lived that for 2 long years until I concealed my heart in such a way that it would never yearn for a partner again..

Tears rolled down from Khushi's eyes hearing my painful past.

Arnav: Now when I have melted those thick walls of my heart only to let you enter, you want to leave me and maintain distance?

Khushi: No.. .( she cried ) .. I can never distance from you Dammit.

She wrapped her arms around and embraced me. I realised how much emotional I had made her that too on our wedding night.

Arnav: What the hell am I doing ? Bringing tears in my wife's eyes on our first night? Doesnt look cool, aint it?
She was still in my arms, but she managed to hit my back gently by her palm to stop teasing her.
Khushi ( caressing his hair): Your feeling better now? ( she just wanted to know if I am fine)
Arnav: No feeling is better than this.. ( he hugged her tighter).

I take some seconds more to ask her this.

Arnav: So.. you still going to change Or..

I could clearly understand she was blushing on my shoulders.. Though I didnt needed her reply, I still pulled her back from the hug and met her eyes.

Arnav:
I promise, next time onwards I am going to be attentive to every ritual, every moment related to you. But just dont ever think of going away from me Khushi, I might stop breathing.

She looks in my eyes painfully.

Khushi: I was not hoping to forgive you so easily tonight. How do you manage to convince me so easily all the time?
Arnav ( chuckled): Its easy.. ! I just have to be truthful while I make such big statements. And it works!!

She smiles at me and pinches my cheek.

Khushi: Maaf kiya.. ( I forgave you)
Arnav: ( took a deep sigh): Thanks.
Khushi: Whatever happens, whovever stands against us, we shall always take decisions mutually, respecting others and never breaking the love we have between us.
Arnav: Okay.. I promise that too. And dont worry about that Daadi's stuff. I have handled that already.
Khushi: How?
Arnav: Is it necessary to discuss everything right now? It's half past 1:00 Khushi.

Khushi holds her smile.

Khushi: Yea I know. SO? ( she teases back)
Arnav: So... Uhh.. Arent we.. going to .. ( I advance towards her and she immediately starts leaning back)

She is almost going to lie on the bed now.

Arnav( smirking at her): You are making my work easier.. ( she giggles)

With that, I shut the lights off our room only to get involved with my wife and dive in her love completely.

******************

 I dont have to say how blissful my next morning is. I have Khushi sleeping next to me with her arms over my waist. I try to look at her without disturbing her sleep much, isnt she the best thing that happened to me? Yea, she is. Now Its my duty to ensure that my wife always stays happy and away from unwanted troubles. The first step of mine to safeguard her emotions will start today after I share my ideas with my family related to Khushi and me.  I just hope they take it positively. I am sure I can convince all.

Khushi wakes up and opens her eyes looking at me .

Khushi: You woke up? What time is it?
Arnav: 09:00 ( I tuck her hair behind ears)

She opens her eyes wide and tries getting up. I stop her from leaving me stranded again on that bed.

Arnav: Stop!!
Khushi: Arnav.. Why didnt you wake me up? What will everyone say ? Their bahu sleeps till 09:00?
Arnav: They know we slept late..
Khushi: So? They will tease us more if you give that excuse.. Leave me.

She struggled and I set her free. She gets down the bed, looks for her clothes and then rushes to the bathroom for shower. Meanwhile I give a ring to Shashi Uncle and ask him to drop by our home today in an hour to discuss my future plans.. He agrees.

******************



As promised Shashi Uncle reaches home and my entire family is sitting around waiting to know why I have called this urgent meeting right after my wedding which happened yesterday.

Arnav: I have to make an announcement. Shashi Uncle has started his new venture in Paris which needs some support and strong backing up. Though he kept denying me from going there earlier, I think now I should take this up with Khushi.

Anjali: You mean moving to Paris? With Khushi? For how long?
Arnav: Di.. its for a year almost but if we both work hard, we can wind it up soon. ( I see khushi who already knows all this as I had discussed it with her today morning in our bedroom)
Anjali: One year.. You wont be with us for one whole year? ANd you plan to take Khushi as well? Its.. its not right..

She feels low .

Arnav; Di..
Anjali: Is it because of Daadi's interference yesterday? Thats why you both want to distance from us?
Arnav: No di.. Its not only about Daadi..
Shyam: Then why Saale Sahab? Cant you handle it from here?
Arnav: I could have.. But you know Jeejaji such things are difficult to handle from Onsite location like this. I have to go and I will be coming back once every month to see you guys. I too care for Di. I want to see her growing baby too and I wont be delayed for her due date as well , I will be here during her delivery.
ANjali: What do you mean "I"? What about Khushi? Wont she come?

I know Di is understanding what I am trying to convey.

Arnav: She will.. After the Delivery goes successful..

Everyone at home is tongue tied.

Anjali: Ohh so this says it all. You both are running away, to keep me safe .. Have you guys gone mad? I wont let you go.. Since when you both started believing all this nonsense?
Nani: Anjali is right.. You both dont need to do  this.
Arnav: Nani.. We arent doing it out of pressure. Trust me.. The work demands us to be there and this is the best chance we both can leave..
Shyam (sighed): May be he is right. That way Saale Sahab will get a chance to stay with Khushi. It's kind of their honeymoon period isnt it? ( he tries to easen the situation)

Lavanya: Aww... Isnt the period too long then Jeejaji? One whole year? ( She manages to give a slight push to Khushi in a teaseful way)

Shashi: Look kids. I have no problem if you both stay here with the family. I can go.. Or else I can send someone else.
Arnav: That wont guarantee the successs of the Project in Paris Uncle.
Shashi: But you have a business to run here too Arnav.
Arnav: Akash can manage , Aman is there and besides you and Jeejaji too. I have full faith in you all. Just let us take this step.. Please..

I am very clear enough in deciding this and everyone finally starts agreeing.. I look at Khushi who was currently been hugged by Di and others as if we are parting today itself from all of them. Once we are next to each other, and the others dont have ears on us.. I manage to whisper to her.

Arnav: How about a Pre-Honeymoon shopping today?

She blushes then hits my arm lovingly and leaves to her Dad to talk.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Part 27 ( LAST PART)

If anyone had asked me what loneliness is, I would given my life story to them for their reference. Today as I pass through the Airport lounge where I was sitting some months ago contemplating on how stupid my friends were who got married. I feel pity on myself on how I was before. I am somehow driven to the same seat where you all had seen me for the first time thinking of my past, my present, my future, my life. 

Closing my eyes on the same seat I am driven to the memories of the childhood where me and Di had a difficult growth stage, how we slowly confronted all the hassles with the help of my nani and my close family, entry of Shyam Jeejaji and Sonia into my life. I open my eyes suddenly remembering Sonia’s face but she I no longer get haunted by her memories. I have already imbibed those little cute memories which she had presented for me as a gift not to be returned to her ever.  Then came my  savior who gave a closure of my past from which I had been running away turning my bitter memories into the sweet nostalgia with Sonia. As my memories pass through those blissful phases, my engagement, our family trip,Khushi’s relevation, her dejection, how we came out of all hurdles, our cute little moments, during the wedding rituals, Daadi’s intervention , marriage day, our decision to move to Paris.

This country has been our abode for the past One year and its nothing less than an inevitable part of my life. This is where I had started my life with Khushi, Our life where we both were alone in our small little world, loving unconditionally, fighting for silly reasons, wooing each other, making up for the lost moments, submitting our mind soul and body, fulfilling our desires and being a pillar for each other. DI had given birth to a cute little boy seven months back. My monthly routine to visit my family every month increased to every fortnight since the little bhanja Ansh came into our life. Though Khushi had accompanied me when Ansh was born the latter visits couldn’t accommodate her schedule her as the project of Guptas was a great success and Sashi uncle is very proud of his daughter attaining heights in the business. Happy times, happy lives still a vacuum runs through both of us. We don’t know if we are destined for that little happiness but cant help not to dream about those tiny hands that will caress my cheeks, cute little fingers holding mine and Khushi’s hands.

I come back to the present state with the arrival announcement at the airport. I have to rush now, my wife would be waiting outside for long time and no surprises if she sulk at the delay I made inside the airport on the pretext of reminiscing my past. I take my luggage and move towards the arrivals.

I see Khushi standing outside looking at me with a Blush as I walk to her. She looks different today, may be her cheeks have blown. But this woman can never put on weight even if she wants. This is such a new phase for me where each and every step I take towards her increases the happiness within me. I have missed her a lot while I was in India for 2 weeks. I reach her and leave my trolley bag aside. I suddenly remember she had told me someone else is going to accompany her too for welcoming me at the Airport .

Arnav: You said someone is coming along ? Who?

I scan left and right but no know faces I could find. She smiles heartily as I raise my eyebrow at her asking her who is it? She finally looks down at the tummy and then wraps her arms over it. Now that increases my curiosity in the other direction. I am bewildered. I have read her expressions by now and also the meaning behind it.

Arnav: Really? ( I ask her to confirm it for me)

She nods. I froze right there unable to digest what she just said. I cannot believe it. She is Pregnant? My wife is pregnant? I am shocked. She gets tears in her eyes seeing my reactions. We both have talked a lot about this all the year, our life was totally fine but still incomplete somewhere. We even had decided to adopt a child soon when we reach back to INdia. But God didnt wanted us to be away from this happiness for long. He finally heard Khushi's prayers.  I am still numb though this happiness is exploding within me.  I finally compose myself and hug Khushi tight forgetting the world around us. She takes me with that same compassion. We have no words to share the pain and anxiety which we both feeling at the same instance. We stay like that for a while. This was really never expected. We really never thought this day would come and now that it has, we have no clue what should be done next. We are kind of unprepared yet very excited. She cries on my shoulder and I caress her hair asking her to calm down. We both then pull back.

Arnav: Is it really true?

I am really mad for asking her this again. But cant help, I am really surprised..Khushi wipes her tears.

Khushi: I was feeling dizzy from past 3 days so had been to the Doctor, he did all the tests and confirmed the pregnancy.
Arnav: But what about the earlier reports?
Khushi: Remember I started the fertility medicines ? That worked ( she giggles)

Yea I remember those medicines, Though she had no hopes, I wanted her to try those. I believe God has given us a golden chance and we both should really thank him for it.

Khushi: Ghar chale? I am desperate to show you those reports.

Yes, me too. I reach her waist and wrapping my arm over it, while the other dragging my trolley we both walk to the car sharing this happiness with each other.

*****************

Few months later

The Raizada house was full of chaos, thanks to the enthusiasm the family had in celeberating the Naming ceremony of the youngest member in the house, Arnav and Khushi's one month old baby girl. It was pretty obvious that the couple were not allowed to do anything beyond getting ready for this grand event where the family had invited bunch of close relatives and friends.

Khushi just bathed the baby with Anjali's assistance and they stepped out of the bathroom. The baby was presently called "Chotti" which was again a name given by Anjali to her. Anjali's son was just few months older to Chotti.

Anjali: Khushi.. See how Chotti is smiling. She knows its her Naming ceremony probably.
Khushi dried the baby with a Towel.
Khushi: Hmm.. She is genious like her father
Anjali: But she has your smiling face.. not that Sadoo face which Chotte keeps making all the time.

Anjali chuckled and so did Khushi.

Khushi: But Arnav's facial expressions has improved a lot. Dont you think?

The ladies laughed again. Thats when I enter the room.

Arnav: What are my three Angels doing? ( I ask proudly seeing them so happy)
Anjali: There he comes. Chotte.. Where were you?
Arnav: Out.. Just got this for your Chotti

I remove a beautiful dress from the bag which I just shopped an hour ago with Aman.

Khushi: Pretty..
Anjali: Chotte has learnt to shop a lot these days, isnt it Chotte? Sarees for his wife.. Jewelleries for his Di , toys for his Nephew and now.. clothes for his daughter. I am impressed.

The baby started twirling in Khushi's arms and then cried.

Khushi: She must be hungry..
Anjali: Yes. You feed her. I will see you later downstairs. And haan the Priest will come in one hour. You both dress up too. By the way, did you decide what name should be given?
Khushi noded.
Arnav: Thats her department ( I point at Khushi). 
Anjali: HAve you Khushi?  What is it?
Khushi: Uhh.. I shall tell that when everyone is around. PLease.. ( she pouted sitting on the bed with the baby on her lap to feed)
Anjali: (smiled): Alright. CHotte make it fast..

Saying that DI left and sat next to Khushi caressing my baby while she was busy involved in filling her stomach.

Arnav: Whats so secret in the name that you arent even letting me know?
Khushi: Dont you trust me? ( she touches my cheek and I hold her hand and kiss her fingers)
Arnav: Fine. I will wait to hear that. What you wearing?
Khushi: Saree.. The blue one which you got last week
Arnav: SO my baby and mommy will be matching today ?  ( I pinch her nose)
Khushi: What is daddy wearing?
Arnav: I am good in Suit.
Khushi: No..
Arnav: Why?
Khushi: Di has stitched a Kurta.. Please wear that. It will match all of us.. Please.. ( she pouts)

Now do I have a choice to deny my wife when she is so much pleading? Of course I agree.

We are finally down with the baby and the Priest asks us what name we would like to keep for CHotti. Everyone is staring at Khushi who smiles at me and then replies

Khushi: Sonia.. We will name her Sonia Panditji.

It would be hard to say I am only "Shocked".. I am feeling so much more than that. Even Jeejaji's eyes become moist. Khushi gives me a warm smile and holds my hand.

Khushi : Liked my surprise?

I feel nostalgic. This woman has always made me feel out of this world not once but many times. I nod in acknowledgment. DI handles the emotions of her husband too by caressing his back.

Anjali: We would love to call her Sonia..

She picks my baby from Khsuhi's hand and then takes her to the Priest for blessing. Meanwhile I look at Khushi. She is smiling heartily at me..

Khushi: You missed a friend after Sonia was gone, you found one in me.. You had missed a wife when she disapperared from your life. You got one in me.. You yearned for a baby which you admired in her..
Arnav ( interrupts): And I got one from you again..

I raise her hands and lovingly kiss her fingers. I dont care if anyone is watching us.

Arnav: I love you..
Khushi: Humesha.. ( she hugs me.. Everyone is do watching us but who cares? I hug her back.)

My family has reunited, happiness has found the doors of Raizada Mansion again. While the Priest keeps performing the rituals I walk to the corner of the room and take a glimpse of all my family members. I was once lonely even amidst them. Its now that I realise what happiness is... Khushi gave me my life back.. my love back and the word " TANHAAI" is no longer in my life dictionary. I am happy without it.

THE END