Wedlock - Part 33

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Chapter 33


Shantivan

Khushi comes back from work and starts completing her packing. She knows Arnav is not home and according to his letter she is aware he won’t be seeing her before she leaves. But it somehow frustrates her. Is he again doing the same? Ignoring her? Like he did after they got married? No. It’s different this time. He is ignoring her to stop hurting her, not to hurt her. He is giving her choice the priority this time. He wishes her success and she knows he will always keep an eye on her this time, no matter she likes it or not.




She completes her packing dwelling in the same thoughts throughout. Tomorrow morning, she has her flight and before that she has to complete one more task. She opens her purse and takes the keys of Shantivan which Anjali entrusted upon her. She has to return them to Nani. She does not want to have any argument with that old lady. She will try to keep their conversation as low as possible.

She knocks Nani’s bedroom. Nani is reading some holy books. She knows Nani is aware of her departure next day. Nani frowns seeing Khushi in her room.

“These keys” Khushi keeps the keys on the table before Nani.

Nani smiles sarcastically.
“I knew these keys are going to come back to me soon. Didn’t know it would be so soon” Nani taunts. “I don’t understand what Anjali saw in you”

Khushi clenches her teeth.
“Di is too naïve. But you are too matured, you have seen so many years, so many people you might have encountered in your life and yet you couldn’t see what Di saw”

Nani gets up from her chair.

“What is your point?” she scowls.
Khushi rolls her eyes.
“That’s my point Nani, doesn’t matter what I say, what I do, you will never change your opinion about me. So, whatever I explain now, its not going to make any difference. So, let us not waste each other’s time. I am leaving tomorrow. I hope you take care of yourself and your grandson. Good night”

Khushi heads out of the room, leaving Nani stunned.

***********************

Arnav returns back home midnight. He purposely stayed back till late at Office. He didn’t want to intrude Khushi at any cost. He knew she would be busy in packing and preparing for her departure from Shantivan. That’s the best thing for her to do right now. He is himself surprised at his own behavior for putting Khushi’s wishes above his. She might think it’s a sudden change in him, hard to believe he has feelings for her now when he didn’t show up even a tinge of it during the initial few days of their deal, but he knows why this happened. He had hidden his attraction for her deep into some corner of his heart when she separated from him after marriage. But when she returned and they got this deal between them, he saw her changing, he saw her being a better woman than he thought she is. He saw her cry.. he saw her fearing the nightmares, he saw the real woman inside her which he never realized existed. She is a good human being, a pure soul and has a golden heart. She was pretending to be casual, unfocussed and disrespectful. Staying with her in Shantivan, under one roof, pretending to try mending their marriage before Anjali made him realize what he was losing so far. That one week after she got busy in her job and totally ignored having any communication with him, gave him intense opportunity to revisit his own faults in their marriage. That’s when he decided to give this relationship a chance, to tell her he had some feelings for her before and he can feel streaks of it again as they are staying together. That’s why he proposed her for accompanying him to South Africa. But then it didn’t work. She got more pissed for his errant behavior of not confessing his interest in her before and making attempts to connect with her before proposing her parents for her hand in marriage. And the last connection between them broke when she got to know about Sheesh Mahal from Shagufta and not through him. She is bound to hate him.

With all these thoughts running in the back of his mind, Arnav showers and wears his night suit. He does all of that in the guest room. He had picked a set of his clothes in her absence and placed it here so that he doesn’t disturb her privacy. It helped. But he is getting restless every minute reminding himself that in few hours she will be gone. For one damn Year. He wants to return back to his room where he knows she will be sleeping by now.. her last sleep in this house… in their bedroom. He chooses to go with his heart.

The urge to see her once before she leaves this place gets Arnav back in their room. She is sleeping peacefully. Her bags are packed and placed beside the closet. He feels the void in his heart already. He cannot do anything to stop her. Did she read his letter? Not that he was expecting a response from her but he just wants to know if that note could lessen her anger, her hatred for him even a little.

His feet unknowingly makes way to the edge of their bed and a sudden desire to touch her once brews in his mind. He has no intentions to wake her up. He is not prepared for any more conversations between them. He is glad she has taken a huge step towards her own mental peace and she is not alone in this. His sister will always be around to look after her whenever she longs for that moral support. He sits next to her sleeping form and gently tucks the hair strand behind her ear.

Admiring her for another few more minutes he finally walks out of the room.

Khushi opens her eyes as she hears his footsteps out. Her eyes prick with tears again. Why is he doing this? What is he trying to prove? She knows he is not prepared to see her leaving this time. His feelings for her, are clearly visible now unlike in the past when she thought he married her only for some unknown prize. He couldn’t resist seeing her one last time before she leaves, could he? She cuddles her pillow to analyze one more time. Is she taking the right step? Is this separation really needed? And every time her heart and mind are in sync. YES!! It’s inevitable.

***********************


The next morning, Hari Prakash tells Khushi the car is ready downstairs to take her to the Airport. Her luggage is all loaded in the car too. She thanks him and then for one last time scans the room. She has lived her for hardly one and half month but she had some great moments to remember. She had those endless arguments and fight with Arnav Singh Raizada after all. And that poolside will always be in her heart. She always wanted to get in that pool and spend some lonely time but it never happened.

She gets down the stairs with a heavy heart. Nani is in the living room, as if purposely waiting to see her leaving the house. Khushi gives her a curt look and then makes her way to the main door. She knows he is home. She had asked Hari Prakash and he said Arnav has not left for work yet. He must be watching her from somewhere If he is awake. She makes her way to the car. The Driver opens the door for her and she purposely raises her head to see the window of the Guest room. She finds a shadow slipping through the window as if someone was watching her so far but when she raised her head, the person hid behind the window pane. It’s him. She knows. She sighs with feelings unknown and gets inside the car asking the Driver to drop her to the Airport.

The moment the Car leaves the gates of Shantivan, Arnav comes in front of the window again and watches the car join the main street. She is really gone. There is no hope for him that she will stay back. After spending another few minutes at the window, memorizing the moments he spent with Khushi here, he makes his way to the bedroom. That’s the last place she has stayed in and wants to lay on that same bed and spend some time alone until he revisits his heart and mends it with another hope that things will be fine in future, if not now.

He finds the same envelope which he had sent his letter into for her through Aman. What is it doing here? He comes straight to the bed and picks it up. It has a note inside and this is definitely not the letter he had written. It’s her letter… to him.

Arnav,

Yes, you hurt me. A lot. Your secrets, your careless ways of handling our relationship, your cold and hot behavior.. your presumptions about me.. everything has hurt me beyond repair. But I am not any sane either. I have made mistakes too. And I am not saying this to make you feel any better. It’s true. Relationships have scared me.. ever since my mother passed away. But I cannot take it as an excuse for ruining my own life. How many children out there who are orphans, become like me? Not all. Not even a few. They know the value of life.. And I only chose to ignore it. In the attempt of punishing my father, my step mother for making me feel unwanted, I made the worst out of me. Boozing. partying… wasting time and my father’s hard-earned money was all that I knew doing until you … yes Arnav.. until YOU showed me the mirror. You told me where I stand in this race of life. I stood nowhere. I had no existence. Who do you think got this spirit inside me to stand on my own feet? It is You and I am thankful to you in countless ways. No one would know my worth if I had not taken your advice seriously and fetched this job. Whatever changes you are seeing in my life today is somehow connected to you and I will always owe you that.

And I ask you one more favor now. Give that Shagufta some real stuff that can put her in the right place. I don’t want her to think she won by separating us. If we have parted, its for analyzing what we want from each other, not because she created a rift between us. I am sure you will find some ASR way to deal with your so-called best friend.

And Sort yourself..  No one wants to see you the way you are now. Not even Aman!! Get a grip because world is not ending. We are going to be in touch. Someway… Either through Di… or your damn annoying secret spies on me who will keep giving you updates if I am safe and of course, if we both really want to then we can directly talk to each other or share an email at least. I am sure that’s going to happen.

Thanks for understanding my need to go and achieve my dreams. That means a lot to me. Now coming to the most serious part of this letter. Our marriage!! I will think about it. I don’t know when.. how… but I will surely give it a thought. I liked it when you reminded me what depth and respect this term carries in itself. I won’t be disregarding it either.

And last but not the least… I don’t hate you.. I mean it, Arnav. I may not love you… but I don’t hate you for sure. And you are right… this separation will help us figure out if we really are meant to be together someday. We cannot think anything constructive for us right now if we stay together. So, this distance is must.

I want to see you smiling, happy and contended too, Humesha!!

Khushi.

Arnav finally breathes. He cannot express what this letter means to him. He holds that piece of paper to his heart. It felt like his heart had stopped ticking and now he can see this small ray of hope again. She is a good writer. Whatever they both couldn’t express in words to each other, their letters did. He is so glad that she doesn’t hate him. It’s enough for him to sustain until they make their way back to each other. And her idea of being in touch, yes, he wants that too. He might not straightly jump and call her but they will be in contact of each other through so many ways. She is ready for that and he cannot feel more better than this. She is so right to guess about the spies he would keep on her. It is for her own safety. She knows him that much. This time he is not going to vaporize from his life. He is going to observe her from other’s eyes until they are ready to meet again.

***********************

Airport

“What? How many more surprises have you planned for me, Khushi?” Lavanya asks.

Lavanya has come to see off Khushi at the Airport and meet her once before she can fly to San Franciso.

“Come on La.. Don’t give me that surprised look” Khushi sighs. She told Lavanya about her letter to Arnav and how she is really going to revisit her thoughts about this marriage.
“Alright.. I don’t know what to say but I hope whatever you are getting into is good for you” Lavanya exclaims. “Now give me a hug before that colleague of yours comes and drags you away from me”
“Awww” Khushi hugs her. “I will miss you”
“I will miss you too”
“Lie” Khushi pulls back. “What’s up with you and Rohan?”

Lavanya shies.
“That means I am right” Khushi states. “You are falling for his charms”
“Not completely yet. He is one crooked fellow. He has just comes out of a broken relationship, I don’t think he is prepared to get into one again.”
“Oh” Khushi pouts. “I am sure your charms will work on him some day”
“Yes I hope that too. Or else I have some one else too whom I can eye upon. For a temporary fling” Lavanya teases.
“Who’s that one now?”
“He is the God of handsomeness. He too is going through some rough time with his marriage but I will manage to grab him for some time with me”

Khushi realizes she has been talking about Arnav Singh Raizada.

“Dare you do that” Khushi pinches her. “He is my husband.”
“Oh wow” Lavanya giggles. “Somebody is not ready to lose her marriage tag this soon”

Khushi rolls her eyes.
“If I decide to dump him, you can pick him for sure” Khushi teases back.
“We will see that. Now bye. Shikha is waving at you from the departures entry. Dont let her take my place in your life. I am feeling jealous of her already. She gets to stay with you for one whole year?”

Khushi chuckles.

"No one is stealing your place. You get that? Come to San Francisco soon with your Rohan. Will we party.. But.. Unlike before.. .It will be a decent party. What say?"
"Cool."

The two quickly hug each other again. Khushi then drags her bags to embark on her new journey. But she will miss this place.. this country… this city… Shantivan and… HIM!!


To be Continued.



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