He Loves Me Not - Part 13

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Chapter 13

Khushi feels helpless. That one person whom she loves from the bottom of her heart has left no efforts to decline his feelings for her. Wish she had never gone to London in the past. It would have given her more time to win his heart and convince him for what they have between each other. He thinks she has broadcasted her feelings to everyone on purpose? Why would she do that? For others sympathy? No!!  She didn’t have any such motive. Whenever any other guy tried to advance her and she rejected, her friends would always ask her why she is being so rude. She was tired of telling them she is not interested in love or relationships because that would be a lie. After numerous exertions from her friends, she finally told them about her childhood crush and that she has fallen in love with that same man, though she never revealed his name because she didn’t want to hurt Arnav at any cost. She didn’t want to spoil his name if things won’t work out in her favor. She always put him before her dignity and he didn’t think twice before putting such a huge blame on her that she likes making propaganda of her one-sided feelings. She so wants to hate him for this, for his wayward behavior tonight, but she cant. She loves him so much that it hurts even thinking of hating him now. It’s too late. She cannot stop feeling for him nor can she let him go.




Khushi cries again, cuddling her pillow recalling how he said that he had lied on his birthday night and showed her false hopes. She cannot believe it. He might have always been successful in masking his feelings for her but he should at least confront that he had felt for her.. at least once.. She is ready to back off and forget chasing him, if that’s what he wants.

“Khushi?” Shashi knocks her room door. She immediately shuts her eyes, pretending to be sleeping. She does not want her father to realize she is crying. He will have numerous questions for her otherwise and she is not prepared to answer any at this moment.

Shashi comes inside and caresses her hair. He thinks she is sleeping and whatever conversation he had to do, he decides to make it happen the next morning. Pulling the duvet on her body, he shuts the lamps and leaves the room. Khushi lets out a soft cry as soon as he is gone. She is tired of hiding her pain from her family but that’s all she can do if Arnav is not going to accept her. She does not want to spoil whatever ties her father has with the Raizadas.

*****************

The next morning, Shashi comes back in Khushi’s room and finds her awake, but still lying on the bed, cuddling the pillow.

“Good morning” he comes in with two cups of Coffee. “You are still on bed? I thought you would be ready for office”

Khushi slowly sits, leaning on the headboard. Shashi notices her eyes.
“Have you been crying?” he asks.
Khushi denies.
“No, I didn’t get a good sleep, that’s why my eyes are puffy” she lies.
“Ohh. What happened? What have you been thinking that you got no sleep”
“Nothing Dad”

Shashi notices the smile on her face is missing. Something is wrong.

“Is this because I asked you to meet some prospective grooms for you in London?”
“No Dad”

It is much beyond that. She doesn’t want to marry, not if the groom is other than Arnav.

“Then what is it? You are hiding something from me, I can sense that”

Khushi takes the cup from Shashi and sips the coffee.

“I am keeping well.. I will take a leave today”
Shashi knows she is diverting the topic.
“Okay. I will inform Boss” he mutters. “And yes, they were asking you to collect the cheque for the Software.”

Khushi has no interest in the money.

“I will collect it when I am back there”
Her lack of excitement in anything worries Shashi. He has to find out what she is going through before its too late.
“How was Niyati’s wedding?”
“Good” Khushi swallows the ache formed freshly in her throat. She recollects how rude Arnav was when they danced.
“Just good?”
“Dad… I am sleepy again. Do you mind if I sleep for some more time?”

Shashi fakes a smile.

“Not at all, baby. Sleep. No one will disturb you”
Shashi walks out and Khushi lies down again. No one will disturb her, but what about the thoughts running in her mind? They are not letting her rest peacefully.

******************

AR Office 

Arnav reaches office and the least he expected to see first was Shashi Gupta. Is Khushi around too? She would never miss coming to work considering that gives her an opportunity to feel him close. She is really silly to take such little things into consideration and so much to her heart.

“Morning Sir” Shashi wishes him.
“Morning. Is Dad in his cabin?” Arnav asks.
“Yes. Sir just reached. We have a conference to begin with the China delegates. They are waiting”
“I know. Let’s start”

He walks to the conference room to lead the meetings. After three hours when he returns back to his Cabin, he finds Aman sitting there, sipping a Chocolate milkshake.

“Mathur Shares are going down again today” Arnav mocks getting inside. “Their CEO hardly works”

Aman chuckles.
“We don’t want to give Raizadas a competition”
“Good for us” Arnav smirks and gets seated.
“You must be feeling very refreshed today?”

Arnav can sense Aman mocking at him.

“Or are you masking that even?” Aman adds.

Arnav is very sure now why Aman is asking him that.

“I don’t want to discuss that again, Aman. And I have a lot of work already to take care of. So, Please” he replies in a requesting tone.
“I wont take much of your time Buddy” Aman keeps his milkshake aside. “But what you did last night in the reception was so rude and I hope you ask an apology for that”

Arnav sighs.
“Rude? Who made me behave like that? Didn’t you see she is just telling her one-sided love story to everyone she meets”
“Not everyone. They are her friends. And whatever she says, she is not mentioning your name. She could have done that too but she didn’t. Know why? Because she cares for you”

Arnav fists his fingers and bangs it on the desk.

“Whose side are you, Aman? And whats your point? You wanted me to explain her that we don’t have a future together. I did that in the only way she could understand and you want me to apologize?”
“Wait” Aman interrupts. “You are talking as if I am forcing you to do something against your Will. It is you who keep saying that you have no feelings for her and when she is around, your behavior clearly shows that you cannot ignore her even if you want to. Then why to pretend it, Arnav? And keeping all this apart, I genuinely feel the way you behaved on the dance floor was unacceptable. You have never misbehaved with any woman and Khushi Gupta should never be in that list ever because she truly loves you”

Arnav pushes the files apart from his desk in rage.

“I know that” he roars. “I … I know she felt hurt. But I am saving her from falling in the ditch. If she keeps loving me, she will not be able to bear seeing me marry someone else”
“Oh” Aman leans back. “So you did all this so that she can start hating you and you don’t have to live in that remorse of leaving a woman who truly loved you, behind. Is this how it is?” he mocks.

Arnav has no reply. He doesn’t have one either.

“You know what Arnav. You are confused and you are confusing Khushi too. I don’t want you to end up being in the wrong side one day and then repent. It is still not too late. You can talk to Uncle, my father and Sheetal and amend your mistake. Don’t drag it too long and make it unfavorable for all of us”
“I am not doing anything like that” Arnav snaps. “The decision has been made Aman. I don’t want to change that”

Aman shrugs and gets up.

“Good. Then all the best buddy.”
“Aman” Arnav tries to stop him from leaving. “Aman wait. Don’t go away like this”

Aman stops at the door and turns around.

“By the way, one update. Khushi Gupta is on leave today” Aman informs.

Arnav gulps nervously.
“I think she has taken your warning seriously. Good for you” Aman mocks in a serious tone and walks out.
Arnav leans back on his chair and shuts his eyes. Is Khushi alright?

***********************

Gupta Apartment

It’s afternoon, Khushi has not left her room. She showered and ate hardly anything. Thankfully Buaji is out and she won’t be coming back home until late evening. She has enough privacy to think upon her present condition and even shed tears. While she is still lost in thoughts, her phone rings. She is surprised to see the caller id. Aman Mathur? Why is he calling her? Or maybe she knows why he called. She is annoyed but she decides to vent her frustration on him.

“If you have called me to test my wounds and mock at them, please hang up or I would” Khushi scowls at Aman over the phone.

Aman rolls his eyes, twirling the paperweight of his Office desk.

“I want you to meet me today evening for a cup of coffee” he insists.
Khushi lets out a sarcastic chuckle.
“Why? Is there any more damage left to be done which your friend didn’t do last night?” she sniffs, wiping her eyes with the tissue. She sees no necessity for Aman to call her like that neither propose to meet him.
“I want to talk something.. related to Arnav. I am sure this is enough reason for you to come”
“Waahh” she snaps. “One friend doesn’t want to see me and the other friend is asking me to meet and discuss about him”
“Oh God.!! You are queen of Arguments. I cannot argue more. Just see me today evening. I will text you where and when. Bye”
Aman disconnects and Khushi throws her phone away. She won’t go!! She is hurt and if Aman wants to apologize on Arnav’s behalf, she is not willing to accept it. But what if it is something else?

*********************

Café Shop 

“Thanks for coming” Aman pulls a chair for Khushi. It’s a local Coffee shop, not very far from her apartment.
“You better make it quick” she replies.
“I will try” he winks at her and then orders coffee and sandwiches.

The coffee arrives and Khushi blankly keeps stirring it. Aman decides to speak first.

“What have you decided now?” he asks.
“About?”
“About Arnav.. I mean.. your feelings for him.” He answers. “I have seen him hurting you last night”
“He has hurt me ever since he faked rejecting me” she snaps.
“But you are still loving him” he argues.
“That’s because I can’t stop loving him” her eyes prick with tears again. “You might say I have no self-respect or that I am clinging onto a man who keeps pushing me away, insulting me all the time. But wish it was that simple. What I am going through, people will never understand”
“I understand” he replies softly.
“No, you don’t” she scowls.
Aman raises his hands in defeat.
“Okay.. I don’t. But I am a sharp analyzer and now even I believe that Arnav is faking all of this. He wants you too, just that he cannot have you and that’s why he is doing all of this”

Khushi rolls her eyes.
“I have analyzed this years ago. Tell me something new Aman”
“What are you going to do now? You can tell me, I wont let him know. I promise”
Khushi smiles at him.
“I know you are a good person Aman. But trust me I have no plans now. All I know is that I am going to back off.”
“WHAT?” He snaps in surprise. “After all this, you are really thinking on that lines? Backing off?”
“Your friend didn’t leave me any choice” Khushi shrugs “He deserves your sister only. When she wont love him like I do and when he wont be able to love her like he loves me, he will understand what he lost”

Aman nods.
“This is not some sort of experiment Khushi. It’s Life. You cannot make such choices.” He advises.
Khushi is quiet. Aman continues poking her.
“So, your self-respect came in between your love for Arnav, didn’t it?”
“No Aman” Khushi denies. “It is not about Self respect. I am ready to make the whole world my foes and if Arnav is standing with me, I am ready to give off everything that I have… even my self-respect for him. I can fight for him.. But I cannot fight with him. I can make others believe in our love. But I cannot force him to believe that he loves me. I can lead him to happiness if he chooses me, but I cannot drag him out of his self-created zone which is limited only till the happiness of his parents. If he thinks telling his parents about his interest in me will hurt them, I don’t want him to end up in more problems”

Aman is so proud of this woman and her commitment and love for Arnav is clearly visible in her tone and thoughts. She only thinks about him..

“Will you be able to forget him and move on?” he asks.

Khushi swallows the ache formed in her throat.

“I can pretend” she replies. “If he can pretend not loving me, I can pretend to love someone else too if that makes him relieved” tears start rolling down her cheeks. “Dad has plans to look for some suitors for me in London. I think I should accept that and get away from here. Arnav will be at peace only if I go away and I have no plans to attend his wedding either. It’s better I leave”
“It’s bullshit” Aman snaps. “It’s like a planned Mass suicide. You guys will be hurting each other as well as the people around you. Have you thought about that?”
Khushi remains quiet again.

“Khushi” Aman continues probing her.
“Will you do me a favor Aman” she pleads. “Don’t share all these plans with Arnav. I don’t want him to think this is yet another plan of mine to draw his attention. Let him get to know it through my father or his”

Aman has no clue how to respond to that.

“I should go. Thanks for the Coffee” She gets up and leaves. Aman doesn’t stop her. His idiot friend and this crazy girl are going to end up in a huge trouble some day if they stick to whatever they have planned.. unless… HE INTERVENES and HE WILL!! To save them… to save their LOVE.



To be Continued


NEXT PART


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